Chance meeting.

“N-Noelle? What are you doing here?” I asked her.

“I came to buy something.” She gestured back to the store right beside the one I’d come to check. It was a hobby store. The kind that sells tabletop games and the like. She dug into her bag and pulled out what she bought. They were…

“Card booster packs?” I asked.

Noelle’s eyes shone. “You know these?”

I asked her if I could see one of the packs, just to confirm something. “Yeah. Isabelle and I used to play with these when we were kids. I don’t think we ever understood the rules, though.” I handed her the pack back and looked at the store she came out of. “Why come all the way here to buy these? You live far from here, don’t you?”

“W-Well…” She blushed and giggled nervously, scratching her cheek. “I heard this was the only store that still had booster packs for the new expansion of the game, so…”

I chuckled. “I see. I can relate, then.”

Noelle seemed a bit relieved. Then she noticed the carrier in my shoulder. She beamed as she moved close and looked at Cake inside.

“What’s this? Why are you with her like this?”

“We went out for a walk, but she already had enough.” I wanted to believe Cake’s meow meant she was agreeing with what I said.

“Did she take to it well?” Noelle asked.

“Surprisingly, yes.”

Cake smelled and tried to lick Noelle’s finger through the mesh. As I watched that, I began to think.

It was a coincidence, but Noelle was here. There were things I needed to talk to her about. Important things that I’d rather not push back. But… how could I even start to bring it up? I couldn’t do it out of nowhere.

…

“H-Hey, Noelle?”

“Hm?”

“Are you busy right now?”

“Eh?”

{Busy? He’s asking if I’m busy? C-Could it be he wants to… invite me somewhere!? Oh my God! Oh my God! Yes!}

Her thoughts, and the excitement in them, hit me like a surprise truck. My heart almost stopped, and though I definitely felt flattered, I got hit by a bigger sense of guilt.

“N-No, I’m not busy!” she answered eagerly, more than she intended, apparently. She blushed, cleared her throat and held her bag tightly to avoid fidgeting. “I was just going to go back home now. I d-don’t have any other plans.”

God, I don’t want to have this conversation!

“W-Want to come to my place and play some games?” I offered through the knot in my throat.

{YES!}

“I-I’d love to, yes.” She nodded. “Thank you.”

Her smile could melt anyone’s heart, and the thoughts I was hearing only made it worse.

Noelle… really did like me. And I had to tell her I was seeing other girls. That affection would turn to pain, and I’d be the one to cause it. She’d want nothing to do with me after that. I would lose any shot I had with her, and worst of all, I’d lose a friend.

We walked back to my house. When we got there, I set Cake loose and she immediately went to cuddle with mom, who was still reading.

Mom chuckled. “What? Was the outside too scary? Or maybe it was too exciting.” She looked up as I was walking in with Noelle next to me. “Oh, Noelle. What a surprise.” Mom smiled genially.

“Hello, ma’am. Sorry for intruding.”

“We happened to meet and I invited her over,” I told her. “Is that okay?”

“Of course. You know you’re always welcome here, dear, so you’re not intruding.”

“Thank you very much!”

“Is Isabelle still working in her room?” I asked mom.

“I think so. She hasn’t come down yet.”

“...Is she still not done? I think she pulled an all-nighter yesterday.”

“For that editing job she got?” Noelle asked.

“Yeah.”

Noelle and I went to check up on her. After knocking and not getting an answer, I decided to just open the door. My sister was fast asleep on her bed, sprawled there like she’d passed out the moment her head hit the pillow.

“She did pull an all-nighter…” I muttered.

“We better not wake her up, then.”

“Don’t worry. Once she’s asleep, nothing short of shaking her can wake her up. Cake had to scratch her once.”

Noelle snickered.

We went to my room, and let me tell you how thankful I am to my dear mother for getting me into the habit of keeping it clean. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would’ve been if I’d suddenly invited Noelle over and my room was a mess?

She sat down at the edge of my bed while I set everything up so we could play something. I had no idea how to bring the important topic out, and doing it all of a sudden felt plain wrong. Maybe some time talking would give me a good segue or something? I wanted to believe that.

{His room… I’m alone with him in his room! B-But we’re just going to play some games. Nothing more. And besides… Yeah. Remember, Noelle. He’s probably already seeing someone. Likely more than one person, too…} I could literally feel her mood go down. {Yeah. I lost my chance long ago. I think… I’m happy that we can at least be friends.}

It was like my heart was getting squeezed. But if she already had a suspicion, did it make telling her a bit easier? I wasn’t sure. I was still afraid.

Was it noticeable? Was I acting strange? If I was, Noelle didn’t seem to notice.

We started playing, and that helped me relax somewhat. Or should I say it distracted me. We played for about two hours. We played, laughed, talked about videos we’d seen, other games we’d played, and even about how we’d done in our midterms.

We played until Noelle finally had to leave. I went with her to wait for a cab, a pressure in my chest the whole time. I waved as she left.

When I went back to my room, I threw a pillow at the wall with all the strength I had. I bit my lip so hard I could’ve drawn blood. My body was so tense I almost felt numb.

I couldn’t tell her.

I was too scared, and I didn’t tell her anything.

“Dammit…!”

I’m such a fucking coward.