Challenge of the Douchebag

You and Misty continue your way through the Viridian Forest. Misty is still naked after you took her clothes. Suddenly, you hear Misty scream.

"Its a bug!" Misty cries, pissing herself again.

You see the bug is a Weedle.

You decide to catch this Pokemon.

"Get him, Raijin!" you say.

Unfortunately, Raijin is asleep so instead you send out Pidgeotto. Pidgeotto defeats Weedle and you prepare to catch it in your Pokeball.

"You from Pallet Town?" you hear a voice.

You turn to see am 18 year old samurai, pointing a sword at you.

"Yeah" you say.

"I challenge you a Pokemon battle!"

"I'm trying to catch a Weedle here!" you say.

Unfortunately, while you were dealing with that douchebag, the Weedle escapes.

"Dammit, I nearly caught him" you say.

"But you let it escape" says the samurai.

"You pulled a sword on me!" you protest.

"Do not make excuses!"

"Fine, you want a Pokemon battle" you say, so you prepare to throw yourself Pokeball.

Then suddenly you have a better idea.

"Actually, you don't get Pokemon battle with me"

"But I challenged you" says the Samurai, "you have to battle me"

"No, I don't" you say, "it might be considered bad manners to refuse a challenge but you're a douchebag. I really don't want you're tiny dick in me. I mean it must be tiny if you feel the need to dress up as a samurai"

"Oh, come on" says the samurai, "I already lost to fucking Blue. I must reclaim my honour by defeating a Pallet Town trainer"

"Jesus Christ, you're not a samurai, you're a douchebag"

Suddenly, a swarm of Beedrills appear.

"Dammit" says Misty, "the Weedle must that warned those Beedrills"

One of the Beedrills grabs the Pokeball you were about to use (the one containing Metapod). You have Raijin thundershock several Beedrills before fleeing with Misty and the samurai to a log cabin.