Certainty is not at hand

Carly was in a pretty good mood as they headed back to the hotel. And why wouldn’t she be? Apart from her costume today, which was a little raunchier than she liked, she was actually having a pretty good time!

But that all changed when they got closer to the elevator, and they crossed paths with another woman coming back from the Shopping District walking on a parallel street.

“Ah…” Carly gasped, her eyes widening. Amelia paused, looking serene as she turned and made eye contact with the other woman, her expression not changing. She just gave Carly the slightest of nods, and Carly felt her heart skip a beat.

She hadn’t been expecting to run into Amelia here, like this. Not that she was self-conscious about how she was dressed, of course, she didn’t care about whatever judgmental thoughts about her modesty that were no doubt going through the composed woman’s mind as she looked at Carly with an unreadable expression.

No, the reason she was hesitating was because of her last interaction with the older woman- when Amelia had implied not so subtly that Carly may not have been behaving like an ideal mother should be behaving.

Honestly… it was hard to argue with the woman’s assessment. Carly knew that her mothering techniques were a little spotty, and she really did appreciate Amelia trying to broaden her Emmy’s horizons, even if she was slightly heavy-handed about it. (And even if Emmy had come back that night acting a little weirdly.)

But now things were all awkward between the two of them, and Carly really didn’t like awkward. She hated awkward. Part of the reason she loved being so friendly with people was because that allowed her to avoid awkward!

…Unfortunately, awkward was standing right in front of her.

Amelia said nothing, as was her way. That just made it worse! And the fact that Marley kept glancing warily at her wasn’t helping, either, and neither was the way Emmy tensed up in her presence. It was like everywhere Carly turned, she was surrounded by an uncomfortable atmosphere, and that was NOT how she thrived!

So seeing nothing else she could do, she sucked in her gut, puffed out her chest, and did what she did best.

Tried to be friendly.

“Hey there, Amelia!” She hid her conflicted emotions behind a smile and waved at the other woman. “You coming back from a shopping trip or something? Buy some new clothes, maybe?”

Carly felt like that had been a misstep; she shouldn’t have mentioned clothing given what she was currently wearing. But too late to take it back now! Fortunately, Amelia wasn’t the sort of woman who would seize the opportunity presented to get all catty, and the teacher just let it pass by with a polite nod.

“Not clothing,” she said, shaking her head next. “Books.”

She held up her shopping bag.

“Oh, really? What kind of books?” Marley inserted herself into the conversation, trying to take some of the burden off her sister’s shoulders. She could read beneath the surface of Carly’s smile and saw her floundering.

It was almost ironic. For once, Carly was the socially awkward one and not her! But as tempting as it was to leave her out to dry and relish in the perspective flip, Marley was too nice of a person to let her sister drown in a sea of awkwardness and tried to defuse the situation.

Amelia glanced her way, with a subdued, relaxed look in her eye that seemed to calm everybody down, even Carly a little. It was a relief to see that she wasn’t upset or irritated or bothered or however she seemed to look all the time.

No, she actually felt approachable at the moment.

“Just… books,” she said, and Carly noticed a flicker of discomfort on her face for a moment. It was unusual, to say the least. Amelia was always perfectly composed, but for a brief instant Carly was certain- the other woman felt uncomfortable about something.

What that was, well… Carly couldn’t begin to guess. And Amelia clearly wasn’t going to say.

“…Well, uh… we were just headed back to the Banquet Hall to go get dinner,” Carly said, trying to be as friendly as possible. “If you want, um… maybe you could join us?”

Amelia raised her eyebrow. It was a subdued reaction that most people would consider to be judging or even scornful, but Carly didn’t take it that way. From the flicker in the older woman’s eye, she was able to sus out the cold woman’s real meaning in her expression.

Surprise.

For Carly to extend an invitation to join them for dinner, when her previous interactions with the cosplayer had been distant at best and condescending at worst, must have come as quite a surprise for the introverted woman.

But that was Carly’s way. Social to a fault, even though she honestly didn’t want to spend any more time with Amelia than she had to. It wasn’t that she disliked the other woman, of course not! It was very difficult actually for Carly to actively dislike someone.

No- she just didn’t know how to connect with her. And for Carly that made things hard.

“…I appreciate your offer,” Amelia said, after what must have been an eternity of mulling over Carly’s proposition. “That is very generous of you.”

Carly blinked. “What, an invitation to dinner? You call that generous? Come on!” She smacked Amelia playfully on the shoulder, trying to engage in some skinship to loosen the older woman up, which would in turn loosen her up as well, hopefully. “That ain’t being generous! Nah, if you want generous, wait until I start offering to share my clothes with you!” She joked.

Amelia raised her eyebrow and adjusted her glasses. She glanced at Carly’s current outfit.

She didn’t look very enthused.

“…I do not believe that would be necessary,” Amelia coldly replied, subtly shifting away from the other woman to put sufficient distance between them so she could maintain her dignity. “…I don’t think you have anything that would fit me.”

Marley glanced at the older woman’s slender figure and she had to agree. Amelia may have been elegant, but compared to Carly’s generous proportions, she was downright scrawny. Not to mention taller than her sister, too.

It would definitely be an awkward fit. Even Carly could see that, which was why she masked her burning embarrassment with another smile and just laughed it off like it had been nothing more than a joke. “Well, maybe next time. Still! Dinner?”

Amelia nodded slowly and pushed her glasses up her nose. “As you wish.”

As the group headed into the elevator, Emmy felt a strange sense of discomfort welling up in her chest. Not just because of what happened last night, but because she could feel the anxiety coming off of her mother in waves.

Carly was trying really, really hard to appeal to Amelia. It was so sweet! But Emmy couldn’t help wonder if maybe she was trying too hard.

Is this because of me? She wondered as the elevator doors closed. Is she still feeling self-conscious because Amelia wanted to teach me more about being a normal girl?

The four of them actually arrived at dinner pretty early; so early they were the only ones there. Well, almost the only ones, anyway.

“…Geh.” Cinder blanched when she saw Amelia and the Grangers enter the large room. Even though the Banquet Hall was so massive the girls could hold a conversation with one another and Cinder wouldn’t be able to hear a word of it, they still felt too close for comfort.

Although more than just the presence of people, Cinder was feeling a little self-conscious because of the empty plates scattered about in front of her. Sauce from her buffalo wings was smeared across her lips as further evidence of her guilt.

Fuck… Ella, where have you been all day, huh!? Cinder wanted to scream at her alter. Not only had she woken up this morning, which was unusual, but Ella had been hiding all day, leaving Cinder in control. Normally she would have been fine with that, but not when she didn’t know the reason!

If Ella was avoiding someone, then Cinder needed to know why. And she needed to make that someone pay for it, damn it!

Her face burned and she jumped from her seat, glaring murderously at the women as they entered the room.

Only Emmy flinched. Carly and Marley were used to Cinder’s antics by this point, and Amelia frankly couldn’t care less. She walked right up to the fuming latina without missing a beat, and stared unblinkingly into her smoldering gaze.

“Wipe your lips,” she coldly admonished Cinder. She hadn’t meant her words to come out so harshly- she’d been intending a gentle warning to spare the girl any embarrassment. But of course, it didn’t come across that way.

Cinder looked like she was liable to pop a blood vessel. She opened her mouth, about to curse the other woman out for talking down to her like that, when her body shook.

Eyes wide, Cinder trembled like she was caught in an earthquake, and grabbed onto the table to balance herself.

When she raised her head… she wasn’t Cinder anymore.

“Eh… ah?!” Ella’s eyes stared in surprise up at Amelia for a second, wondering why she was out now. Confused and flustered by the perplexed expression on the older woman’s face and reminded far too much of her own stepmother, Ella quickly averted her eyes…

…And looked down at the table, which was littered with the dirty plates from Cinder’s binging tantrum earlier.

Ella’s face flushed and she felt her stomach churn. Knowing what was about to happen she frantically pushed Amelia aside and dashed out of the Banquet Hall, running for the bathroom before she puked all over herself.

A cloud of confusion was left in her wake as Marley and Carly glanced uneasily at each other. Emmy bit her lip, worried about the other woman.

“Is… do you think she’s alright?” Emmy wondered.

“Ella… she’s… complicated,” Carly said as delicately as possible. That was Ella at the end there, right? The flustered expression on her face was unmistakable.

“Don’t worry, she probably just felt a little startled, that’s all!” Marley said, trying to smooth things over with Amelia first. “I’m sure she’s not scared of you or anything!”

Carly looked enviously at her sister, wishing she’d thought of talking to Amelia to reassure her before Marley did! That would have been a great way to score some points with the older woman. Although, her first instinct had been to comfort her daughter; that was a good thing too, right? No way could Amelia hold that against her, it wouldn’t be fair!

Amelia’s expression was ambivalent. If she was at all concerned by what had just transpired, it didn’t show on her face.

“…Thank you for your concern,” she said politely, pushing up her glasses, “but it is fine.”

She’d expected that reaction, sadly. Her last attempt at communicating with Ella or her alter, Cinder, had ended in similar fashion. Clearly, the damaged girl didn’t like her very much and didn’t want to be around her.

“It’s really nothing personal,” Carly said, trying to help Marley comfort the other woman, even as Amelia stated she needed no such consideration. “Ella, she’s just, well…”

Carly bit her lip, stopping herself. She was perceptive enough to guess at the issue, even though she and Ella weren’t exactly close. (They’d had, what, maybe one conversation since she’d come to the island?) It was obvious, really.

Ella (and by proxy, Cinder) was bothered by Amelia because Amelia reminded her of her own stepmother.

You know, the stepmother she’d butchered.

Could anyone blame the anxious girl for not wanting to be around another overbearing stepmother if she could help it?

But Carly couldn’t exactly say that, either. At the same time though, she figured that Amelia probably suspected as much herself.

So what resulted was another awkward moment hanging in the air, as the two women stared at each other.

Marley cleared her throat loudly. “I’m feeling really hungry right now, so would you mind if we got some food?”

“Yes,” Amelia agreed with a nod, adjusting her glasses again. “That would be for the best, I concur.”

Her sister to the rescue again. Carly was beyond grateful that Marley had managed to bail her out, and was honestly impressed (but still envious) that Marley was getting so socially aware- at least where Amelia was concerned, anyway.

Nice, Marley. Buttering up your future stepmother-in-law! Thatta girl! Carly complimented her in her head, while just nodding approvingly to her sister.

“Don’t want you missing any meals,” Carly teased her sister playfully, elbowing her in the side. “Nick likes you having a bit of meat on your bones!”

Marley turned red and looked at her sister in scandalized shock, her mouth falling open. “Carly!” She gasped, shaking her head. “Don’t-! That’s not-!” Her eyes quickly shot over to Amelia, who was as unreadable as always. No help there. And Emmy shouldn’t get dragged into this conversation either, for obvious reasons.

With no one else to turn to, Marley just turned to her sister instead, and glared at her.

“I’m at a perfectly healthy weight, and Nick likes me just fine this way!” She insisted firmly, even as her face burned with embarrassment.

Carly just nodded. “Yeah, I know, I’m agreeing with you!” She said. “Nick likes you because you’ve got a little-”

“He does not!” Marley wasn’t even sure what she was trying to argue at this point. Mainly, she was just trying to get her sister to stop saying such embarrassing stuff in front of Amelia!

…Of course, she should have known by now how futile that was. Carly had spent all of high school AND middle school inadvertently embarrassing her sister with well-meaning statements like that one. Carly sure loved her sister and Marley loved her right back, but…

Not everyone could look like a fucking hourglass, okay!?

“Marley.”

Marley jumped, her anger subsiding momentarily as surprise took its place. She turned to see Amelia staring intently at her, her expression soft and subdued.

“It’s fine,” Amelia gently soothed the worried woman. “Nicholas cares a great deal for you, as I’m sure you know.”

“That’s right!” Carly said, nodding vehemently. She hadn’t meant to upset her sister, and was now trying to put out the fire she’d just started. “Nick’s a sweet guy! You know he likes you no matter what you look like! Skinny, thick, whatever!”

“I know,” Marley said, her face still burning. “I’m not upset about THAT, sis!”

Carly winced. “I-I’m sorry… then… then why…?”

“Because it’s embarrassing for you to talk about my body!” Marley hissed at her. She wasn’t like Carly, she couldn’t go walking around half-naked with only a few leaves to preserve her modesty! Well, except for that one time, but she’d just been born then and she didn’t even have nipples so it didn’t really count.

“…Ah, well, yeah, I guess that’s true,” Carly said sheepishly. It was way simpler than she’d been thinking it was. Of course Marley felt a little self-conscious that her body was being talked about, who wouldn’t feel that way?

She shut up and let Marley chew her out for a little bit.

While that was going on, Emmy just sighed and went to go get food. At least one person would be getting dinner tonight.

But there was someone who was definitely not getting dinner tonight. And it was the woman who staggered out of the bar with a sneer on her lips, and a look of abject frustration at her inability to get intoxicated on her face.

“Fucking bitch…” Dakota muttered to herself, seething as she dug her cane into the carpeted floor. The hotel’s bar wasn’t like the dive bars that filled the Shopping District, it was far more of a high-class establishment.

In theory, anyway.

The empty liquor bottles littering the floor gave a different impression to be honest. But Dakota frankly didn’t give a damn.

Could anyone really blame her after the day she’d had?

“Who does that bitch think she is, talking down to me like that!?” Dakota spat, draining the last bottle dry before letting it slip through her fingers.

She was actually a little pissed off it didn’t shatter when it hit the ground, and instead rolled over to the wall.

“…Fucking waste,” she muttered.

Dakota couldn’t believe this morning had been real. The things she’d said… the things she’d confessed to… none of that was her! None of it! Once she was alone and had been allowed to sit with the situation, she confronted her interaction with Mary and came back with one clear and evident truth about the situation.

It had been a huge fucking mistake.

So in order to pretend like that morning had never happened and that the emotions Dakota had unearthed in that chapel weren’t a part of her, Dakota had headed right for the bar in an attempt to drink herself into a stupor.

Obviously, it didn’t work. As the host, she was warded to prevent mental incapacitation like that. It wouldn’t do for one of the contestants to get a host drunk and then get the better of them, obviously, so **** had no effect on her.

She’d drained the bar dry, and like a sailor stranded at sea drinking ocean water as a last resort, it just left her feeling an even greater thirst.

A thirst she was incapable of quenching, the perfect pairing to the emotions she was unable to suppress.

“Fucking hell… fuck… FUCK!” She slammed her fist against the wall over and over, wishing it hurt. Wishing she could feel ANYTHING to drown out the actual pain she was going through, but no, of course she couldn’t get that…

She could never get that lucky.

“Dakota?”

Dakota froze in surprise and turned around. It was the last person she expected to see, which showed just how little she was thinking clearly at the moment- obviously Gina should have been the first person she’d run into outside of a bar.

…Actually, no, Gina would be the last person she’d run into outside a bar, because that would mean she was not in a bar.

Not that the stunned host had the opportunity to laugh at her twisted sense of humor. All she could do was stare mutely at the other woman, trying to figure out what to say.