Cancer removal

Using my powers, I made myself invisible and teleported behind the girl who offered anything to cure her mom's cancer.

I found myself in a room that was covered in posters of metal bands, black decorations and a deep purple lightbulb gave the room a cool dark feeling. I wondered why she didn't just paint the room black before realizing one thing: This was a college dorm- It's not hers to paint.

In front of me was a girl with dark hair which ran down her oversized black metallica shirt. It was the only thing she was wearing and her ass barely peaked out from underneath, turning into thick pale legs. She was kneeling over a bedframe with both hands folded.

"- never really prayed since I was a kid. I don't know if I'm doing this right. I don't really believe in you, but she does. Please," she sniffles and wipes her tears before going back into prayer: "I love my mom. She did so much and I rebelled for stupid reasons. Please don't take her away from me. Not before I mend this, mend us." She starts to break into tears again.

Okay, time to make my presence known. I make all my clothes disappear, float above her bed and make myself visible. What's a good way to introduce myself here?

"Maybe I can help?"

She looks up at me, naked and flaccid and long, then looking up to me. She has a really beautiful face. I decide to be honest: "I'm not God, but I was eavesdrop-"

"AAAHHH----" Nope. I cast silence from Dungeons and Dragons. Then I try to speak and reassure her I'm not a threat before realizing I'm in the spell's influence as well. Shoot. She tries to run, her pale thick butt bouncing in view as she runs. I cast arcane lock on the door, watching as she reached the door and tried violently to open it. After a few seconds, she turns back to me mouths "No" over and over again, her crying never ceasing as she keeps trying to open the door.

You know, maybe appearing naked in a woman's bedroom floating in midair while she's having an emotionally **** moment wasn't the best idea.

I then pull out a sign from behind my back like Wile E. Coyote reading: I'm here to cure your mother. Her face turned from terror to confusion. I summoned my old clothes and tossed her some pajamas I saw on the ground, which she hastily put on. I pull out another sign: I won't hurt you. Panicked confusion was replaced with calmer confusion. I dropped the silence spell.

"I won't hurt you, please don't scream."

"Who-who are you? Angel?"

"Not an angel. Not entirely sure if they exist."

"What do you want?"

"I want to... okay this is dumb. Sorry for scaring you, your mom is cured of cancer now." I say snapping my fingers and making it so. "It will be a miraculous recovery, doctors will be baffled etcetera. She will never have any cancer again, and this isn't some monkey's paw bullshit either. She will live a long time."

"I don't know-believe-what the fuck?"

"Look just..." I sighed. "I'm just some guy who basically gained infinite power overnight and naturally the first thing I wanted to do was get laid, and because I'm not a ****, I seeked out people who were offering sex."

"I wasn't, wait, I was joking!" her voiced raised.

"Well I'm not going to put back the cancer!" I look past her and see her poster on the door. It's the cover art for the Curse of Strahd adventure book for Dungeons and Dragons. "You play D&D?"

"You're talking about that right now?"

"No, but I think the better way to explain this is I want to be a warlock patron. I want to give gifts of power or other miracles in exchange for services."

"Services meaning sex? Man fuck you!"

"That's the idea. Okay look, I'm going to go get laid a different way. Curing your mom is a freebie by the way. No catch, no price, nothing. Good night." I teleport back to the roof of the building I was on, cursing at my raging boner.