By running to the streets

You doubted that you'd be able to get anywhere with your maid, and even if you tried flipping up her skirt to see if god would take pity on you for a **** flashing; the cops wouldn't. No disrespect to yourself, but other than through underhanded means, could you dish out anything perverted; at least within the uncertain time-limit you felt hung over yourself.

Running out of the house stopped anything questionable from happening to the maid; by god and/or yourself, which was a start at reducing the odds of anything questionable being linked to you personally.

The most cash you could scrounge up was about $300, and you hoped that despite your area being too tame for any available prostitutes, that you'd find any passable bitch to bribe into brief entertainment.

The most **** girl that you could find was an old, unfuckable homeless bitch; she took $50 from you with a scowl and raised her shirt to show off her saggy titties.

She started smiling as soon as you grabbed to shake them, potentially showing that even perverted sluts get old. After all the 2nd base jiggling with this dirty bitch, there was no loud decree of being pleased at the cost of all the disgust you felt.

She licked her lips, staring at you.

You weren't willing to take things a step further and ran away from that old crone.

After a bit of running, you found an attractive blonde twenty-something; covered in piercings and seemingly pissed at their job during their smoke break.

Holding up $200 you pleaded pathetically "P-Please show me your boobs!".

She half considered the cash, but still humbly told you to piss off; it seemed whatever the boon that god promised wasn't working at the range you were shouting out or was complete trash.

Suddenly a loud bang sounded from the street with a pillar of light.

"Filth is all you have to entertain me with, and to such an un-amusingly small degree. Be ashamed and know yourself to be of filth with this new bane. Do not bore me again, or your curses will accrue", the light zapped away.

Suddenly you felt extremely sweaty with your skin incredibly itchy and your mouth tasting foul. Your body then swelled, gaining numerous toxic fat folds of skin.

"What the fuck?!" Shouted the millennial woman as she dropped her cigarette.