By Pig, Well That's....One Way To Die

Aegon Was Not Terribly Surprised That Lord Robert Went Out By A Pig, But In All Honest He Was That Surprised Honestly, The Man's Thirst For Women and Wine Was Notoriously Legendary, So When His Next Favorite Thing, Hunting Came Out, Well Let's Just Say That They Don't Mix. Of Course Robert's Dead, Storm's End's Succession Will Undoubtedly Be Dragged Up, and Though The Laws Were Clear, Myrcella Was Still A Highly Considered Suitor For His Queen. She Had Wealth, Power, and The Lineage, But Aegon Couldn't Risk Staining His House With ****-Tainted Fruit. Now Admittedly That Was Somewhat Hypocritical Coming From Him, A Man Who's Been Fucking His Sister For At Least Six Or Seven Years, But The Fact Remained, If Rumors Of Cersei's Incestuous Infidelity Proved To Be True, Then The Taint In Myrcella Would Taint House Targaryen For Several Generations At Least.

Laws Of Inheritance and Marriage Concerns Aside, Aegon Did Need To Give Serious Considerations To Who Was Going To Be Queen, and With Robert Dead, Myrcella Becoming His Queen Was Almost A Certain Thing If He So Desired. And Yet, The Lord Lannister's Income Reports Were Disturbing and Aegon Had Begun To Doubt How Wise A Match Between Himself and Myrcella Would and Could Be. By All Accounts, Casterly Rock's Legendary Mines Were Drying Up So Very Very Quickly That Tywin Was Doing His Best To Arrange A Royal Marriage, Judging From Varys's Reports. If The Reports From Tyrion Were True and Accurate, Myrcella's Prospects Dwindled, Yet Aegon Was Always So Heavily Focused On Politics. Why Did He Always Have To Focus On Politics??? Rhaenys Probably....

Aegon Leaned Against A Wall, As Robert's Agonising Moments Ended At Long Last. "He's Dead, He Was A Unfaithful Drunken Prick But....I Respected Him." Aegon Tells Eddard. "So Did I." Says Robb. "Well We've A Problem Now Don't We? Laws Are Clear, Yet Myrcella's Ruling Capability Is Doubtful. Stannis Is A Soldier and Little Loved Much More Than The Mad King, Whereas Renly's Beloved By The Stormlands and Just About Everybody, Be It Low Or Highborn. I'm Inclined To Give Storm's End To Renly But, No The Law's Clear. Storm's End Will Either Belong To Myrcella Or Stannis." Says Aegon. "What Do You Mean Either Myrcella Or Renly? As Robert's Only Trueborn Child, Myrcella Sits Ahead Of Stannis Or Renly In Inheritance." Says Robb Stark. "True, Yet Robert Fathered A Great Many Bastards, and Son's Are Bound To Be There, Lord Eddard? I'm Giving You A Royal Command, Find Robert's Bastards, Boys and Girls Both, Once Found, Bring Them To Me. We'll Assess Their Suitability and Capability With The North, Riverlands, Vale, and Stormlands Of Course. With Any Luck We May Find Some Children Worth Legitimising Or Squiring, Provided Lady Cersei Doesn't Have Them Killed." Says Aegon. "Lady Cersei and Robert Never Liked Each Other But Surely...?" Robb Begins. "Come With Me, and Bring Your Boy Bran With You." Says Aegon.

"Bran, Remember What You Saw Here Yesterday? I Won't Ask You To Flesh It Out, But For The Sake Of Decency Just Describe In Enough Detail Who You Caught Me With Yesterday." Says Aegon. "Lady Cersei." Says Bran Quietly. "You With The Lady Baratheon?" Asks Eddard. "Boy Close Your Ears," Says Aegon, Waiting Until He's Blocked Em. "Well, Bedding Her Would've Been More Accurate. I Was Drunk Last Night, Stumbled Into The Wrong Room, Found Cersei, Woman Tried and Just About Succeeded In Bedding Me, Till That Stag Husband Showed Up. We Made Arrangements To Meet Here, After Robert Fell Asleep. Now I'll Not Give You The Details Entirely, Keeps A Bit Of Dignity For Me and Her, But She Caught The Little One Watching Us, and Kept Hissing At Me More Encouragements To Push Him. Bran What Did I Do Instead?" Asks Aegon. "You Pulled Me In and Sent Me Down The Stairs." Says Bran. "Why Are You Telling Us This??" Asks Eddard. "Because I Regret Ever Doing The Damned Act, Before I Left, I Had Varys Transcribe An Old Ponderous Tome, Have A Look At The Traits Listed For Every Baratheon On That Parchment Lord Eddard." Says Aegon. "Orys Baratheon, Black Of Hair..... Steffon Baratheon, Black Of Hair.....Robert Baratheon, Black Of Hair......Myrcella Baratheon, Golden-Haired." Says Eddard. "****, We Of House Targaryen Have Practiced It For Millennia, Problem Is We've Done It So Bloody Much We Are Unable To Definitively Say Who's The Respective Parent In Some Cases, and When That Happens It Causes Problems. I'm Suspecting That Ser Jamie Is Myrcella's Biological Father, Not Robert, Though Unless We Found Air-Tight Proof, It's Unsubstantiated." Says Aegon. "What If One Of Robert's Bastards Mothers Had Golden Hair and The Child Didn't? Would That Be Proof Enough?" Asks Robb. "On It's Own Perhaps, But I'd Much Rather Have Several Such Cases, Makes It Less Likely To Be Picked Apart In A Trial." Says Aegon.

"If This Is True, It Would Scar House Lannister For Generations." Says Eddard "Perhaps, But There May Yet Be A Means To Give Us All Piece Of Mind." Says Aegon. "Such As?" Asks Robb. "I Could Take Myrcella For My Queen, But No With The Income Reports Tyrion's Been Getting, This Little Suspicion Of Mine, and Cersei's Willingness To Shed Stark Blood In Winterfell, I'm Not Risking It." Says Aegon. "Then Who Will?" Asks Ned. "Robert Came He To Arrange A Match With One Of Your Boys, I Say Give Him One, Claim It Was His Last Wish and Few Would Question, Do That and You Can Ask Any Boon Of Me." Says Aegon As He Departs The Tower. Aegon Holds Off In An Alcove. "Your Grace?" Asks The Hooded Man. "Keep Me Apprised, and Dig Around A Bit." Says Aegon.

Aegon Was Uncertain How His Play Would Work, It Was A Dangerous Thing Making The Lord Of Winterfell Aware He Was Fucking His Best Friend's Wife and Said Woman Wanted To Push His Second Son Out An Open Window. Whatever Happened, Aegon Had His Hands Full With The Three Lovely Northern Maidens In His Bed Presently and The Crownlands Maiden, Oh Wait, They're Maidens No Longer.....

Riding Aegon For An Hour Had Been The Deliciously Divine Dacey Mormont, and Before That, Wylla Manderly, and Before That, Alys Karstark, But Before Even That, Daenerys Targaryen. Aegon Had Spent His Seed In Five Women Since Arriving In The North, His Aunt, A Mormont, A Karstark, and A Manderly. His Mind Was Made Up, Daenerys Was To Be His Queen and Viserys Could Fuck Off To Essos. As For These Other Once-Maidens, They Were Now His Paramours.

It Had Been Nearly A Week Since Lord Baratheon Was Killed By A Pig, and Aegon Had Spent Every Opportunity Sowing The Inner Fields Of Dacey Mormont, Alys Karstark, Wylla Manderly, and Daenerys Targaryen With His Seed. After A Particular Ravenous Night Abed, Aegon Drafted A Letter Banishing Viserys To Essos, Attainting Him, and All That Tripe, Before Also Declaring Daenerys As His Queen. He Was About To Fold It and Then Add Wax But Before He Could Fold A Piece, There Was A Knock At His Door. "Your Grace, It's Lady Stark? May I Come In?" Asks Lady Catelyn. Aegon Motions For Dany To Escape To The Nearby Privy.

Sighing, Aegon Ties His Robe Shut and Opens It. "Yes, My Lady?" Asks Aegon. "My Husband and I Have Decided On Our Boon." Says Catelyn As Aegon Lets Her In. "And?" Asks Aegon. "You Must Marry Sansa Or Arya, and Take Brandon As You Squire." Says Catelyn, As Aegon Let's Out A Deep Sigh. "Well, Shit, That Complicates Matters." Says Aegon As He Returns To The Desk and Rewrites Some Of It. "Meaning?" Asks Catelyn. "I've Decided To Offer My Aunt Daenerys My Queen's Crown, But I'd Be Willing To Give Sansa Or Arya The Crown Worn By My Stepmother. I'll Leave The Actual Decision Up To You and Lord Eddard." Says Aegon, As He Reveals His Aunt In The Privy, Nearly Buck Naked. "I See, Thank You For You Time Your Grace." Says Lady Catelyn.