But the hills that we climbed

“Um… hey, Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin… what’s up?” Kim asked, a shaky smile reaching her face. Kim’s best quality was her smile- she could fake it with the best of them, and even if her looks were a little plain, that dazzling grin of hers could make anyone’s heart skip a beat.

Right now, though, it was having trouble reaching her lips, because she was so flustered and found it difficult to really get comfortable. She tried, she really did, but being stalked by an assassin who seemed unusually clingy towards you in particular made it hard to fully relax.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin blinked, and then tilted her head to the side, her playful smile remaining. Kim didn’t know what to make of it, but she also knew that maybe she shouldn’t have asked the assassin such a vague question.

“…Sorry. Um…” Kim was drawing a complete blank. She just had no idea what to say to this girl! All she could do was stare at her, mouth half-open, and try not to look like an idiot.

Fortunately, she wasn’t alone. Gina, Sylvia, and Amelia all came over to see what was going on, while Vivian watched from the table with an amused expression on her face. Kim looked for other friendly faces, but there were none. Dakota was cold as ice, and Nick was a little nervous and flustered. Ella was trying very hard to pretend like this wasn’t her problem, and Morgana had made a hasty retreat to the ocean to join Mary, Dani, and Carly.

She was on her own… more or less.

“Be careful with her, Kim! She can get pretty attached when she likes you!” Vivian called over to her.

Kim shot her a dirty look and rolled her eyes before turning back to the assassin and softening her expression.

“Sorry… I guess I was just a little on edge. Do you want to hang out or something, is that it?” Kim didn’t know why Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin seemed so attached to her. But it wasn’t like the mischievous girl was really a bother or anything.

Kim actually enjoyed having someone around who she didn’t have to entertain with blind small talk. That could be a pain in the ass.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin nodded eagerly, her eyes shining with delight.

That **** Kim to smile back.

“Well… I was going to make a sandcastle, do you want to join?” She suggested, glancing over at where Rose, Marley, Dawn, and Holly were playing in the sand. She wasn’t sure if Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin had gotten inspired by the contest or if she just wanted to spend time with the other girls, but she was willing to entertain her a little.

The assassin’s nod confirmed it. Sandcastles it was.

“She does seem pretty attached to you,” Sylvia noted curiously. “I wonder why that is. Maybe she has a little crush on you?” She suggested with a laugh.

“Wasn’t there that dry hump she did a couple days ago, in the Banquet Hall?” Gina joked, smiling at the thought.

Amelia looked disapprovingly over at the two girls. “The content of this discussion is not helpful,” she said sternly. “Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin is right here. If you have anything to ask her, you may do so.”

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin looked at Amelia for what felt like the first time, and her eyes widened in amazement, like she was surprised that the other woman would stand up for her like that. As she gazed upon the teacher with renewed interest, Kim found herself wondering if she even wanted to get to the bottom of any of this.

Honestly?

Part of her would like to just stick her head in the sand and forget the whole damn thing, but she knew she couldn’t do that.

Before she could open her mouth to ask any questions, though, the pair of gremlins in front of her cut in line.

“So do you like Kim?” Sylvia asked with a cheeky smile.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin nodded her head excitedly, like it was all just a fun game. Say what you wanted about the killer, but she was an honest girl.

Sylvia snickered and Gina smirked. Amelia sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes.

“Okay, I have a question,” Gina said, stroking her chin. “So if you like Kim, does that mean… you want to have sex with her?”

Kim cringed at that and stiffened. A scowl danced across her lips as she glared at Gina, not a fan of that line of questioning at all. But Gina didn’t seem to care if she had Kim’s approval or not, her eyes sparkled with excitement.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin blinked, and stared at Gina in confusion. She tilted her head to the side and for the first time, her smile disappeared. She studied the punk girl closely, like she was trying to read her mind, and Gina awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other as she felt like she was the one under scrutiny now.

“H-hey, come on, it’s not a big deal!” She said, holding up her hands quickly. “I was just a little curious, that’s all!”

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin blinked. Then she turned and looked over at the picnic tables.

Nick froze as he felt her piercing gaze on him. Before he knew what was happening, the dark-haired girl trotted through the sand and arrived at his side, looking down at him with a gleam in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly from behind, though from his perspective, it felt more like a spider binding up her prey.

The girls didn’t know what to make of that gesture from the assassin, for the most part. An amused Dakota did, though.

“So that’s what it is,” she said with a smirk, leaning back in her seat. “I’d say it’s pretty clear that she wants to fuck you, Nick.”

“Thanks, I couldn’t have guessed,” Nick said dryly. He considered trying to pry the assassin off of him, but thought better of it. It wasn’t like she was hurting anyone by hugging him like this, and he didn’t really have any problem with her demonstrating her affection.

Honestly? Part of him kind of enjoyed her fawning over him, even if she was pretty intimidating.

“Whelp, sorry, Kim, but it looks like you’ve been dumped,” Gina snickered.

Kim scoffed and rolled her eyes. It wasn’t like she had any interest in being with a woman anyway, certainly not one as dangerous as that.

Then she felt the looming presence of the assassin again. In a flash, the slender girl had darted back to her side, and was now staring up into her eyes again.

She felt the woman’s icy fingers wrap around her wrist, and before she knew what was happening she was dragged back over to the table by the woman’s unexpected strength. Apparently, the boost she’d gotten from her nanomachines was still in effect. Kim only had moments to process that fact, before she was thrown onto Nick.

“Wh-whoa!” She cried, nearly landing on top of him. The two of them fell into the sand together.

“Hey!” Nick jumped to his feet and helped Kim back up, then he turned and glared at the snickering assassin. “What’s the big idea?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious what the ‘big idea’ is,” Sylvia said with a cheeky grin. “She wants the two of you to hook up! And I can’t say I blame her. The fans are itching for it, too!”

Kim and Nick looked at each other and blushed.

“It-it’s going to happen sooner or later!” Kim exclaimed, frantically brushing off the sand glued to her sweaty body. “But doing stuff like this isn’t helping!”

“Kim’s right,” Nick agreed. “We’ve already got plans for our night together!”

Kim turned even redder. “W-well, not plans plans,” she hastily clarified. “We still haven’t fully talked about the, um, the what, or the how, or any of that stuff… not yet, anyway… …B-but we will! Don’t get it mixed up!”

“Right,” Nick nodded. “Yeah, no, we’ll definitely come up with something! You don’t have to **** us together or anything like that.”

“Huh, so Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin ships Nick and Kim together, huh?” Gina stroked her chin thoughtfully. “Gotta say, that kinda surprises me. I didn’t expect something like that to happen with someone like her.”

Given the assassin’s clinginess, Gina was certain she would be the kind of woman who would be so unnaturally attached to Nick that she wouldn’t let anyone get near him. She just had those kinds of vibes around her.

But apparently, she was willing to share, as long as it was with Kim. How… sweet of her? Apparently?

Gina wasn’t sure what to make of it. But it was certainly amusing, to say the least. She couldn’t stop the snicker in her voice.

“Well, I think that maybe a threesome is in order!” She decided.

Sylvia couldn’t agree more.

“No! No way!” Kim put her foot down.

“I’ve gotta say, I’m curious though,” Vivian said, finally standing up and walking over to them. She studied Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin with an appraising eye. “Nick I understand, he’s clearly someone you’re crushing on. …But why Kim? What makes you like her so much?”

“Hey!” Kim snapped, glaring at the obnoxious heiress. “What’s that supposed to mean!? You don’t think I’m likable?!”

“Oh, no, not at all! You’re very likable!” Vivian replied, her voice so genuine that it actually caught the other girl off-guard for a moment.

“…Oh. Well… yeah, obviously, of course,” Kim said, fidgeting with her bangs a little to hide her embarrassment at such a brazen compliment.

Vivian turned away from her, and back to Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin. “You know, if I didn’t know any better… I’d almost think you knew her from before this whole show or something… yeah… but that’s just crazy.”

“Oh come on!” Sylvia snorted. “Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin? Knowing Kim from before this show even happened? No chance!”

“As the host, I can assure you that such a thing couldn’t be further from the truth,” Dakota scoffed, rolling her eyes. She had done thorough research into every member of Nick’s harem, and the idea was simply laughable. And since Sylvia had held access to that information herself back when she was the host, she knew that just as well.

So they were both caught completely off-guard when Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin nodded once again.

“Huh?” Nick blinked.

“N-no way!” Sylvia was completely blindsided. “So it really is true! My gosh! I had no idea! Dakota, did you know about this?!”

She looked over at Dakota, who rolled her eyes.

“What!?” Gina screeched in shock. She was used to not taking things seriously, and had enjoyed teasing Kim about this whole idea, but…

Kim’s jaw dropped.

“…Curious,” Amelia said, adjusting her glasses and looking at the two women with renewed interest. “So are you trying to suggest that you have a prior relationship with Ms. Lewis?” She asked Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin for clarification.

There was no way, right?

And yet, the assassin nodded her head once more.

Absolutely shocking.

“I-I don’t believe it…” Nick looked at Kim, trying to see what she thought of this whole mess, but it was hard to tell. Her cheeks were pale and her eyes were glassy, and she just looked completely lost. As lost as he felt.

“Is… is this the part where we learn that one of Kim’s jobs was a part-time assassin?” Gina asked, a twisted smile crossing her face. “Like, they were secretly part of the same organization or something? But she was just a temp?”

In Gina’s warped mind, it made sense, even if she wasn’t actually serious about the idea.

“Whoa! Talk about a major twist!” Vivian howled with glee. She didn’t believe it for a second, but it was hilarious to think about. Kim being an assassin? “It would definitely explain the harsh glare of hers, I’ll say!”

Ella, who had been sitting in silence at the table and listening in on the conversation in spite of herself, froze solid. Flustered, she quickly hid herself under the table. If only Morgana was there for company! But no, she’d gone and joined Mary in the surf.

“N-no! I never did anything like that!” Kim exclaimed, shaking her head frantically. “I wasn’t an assassin, are you mental!?”

Nick had to agree. For all the crappy jobs Kim had worked in the past, there was no way “professional killer” was one of them.

There was just no way.

…Right?

“No, no, this is impossible,” Sylvia said, shaking her head. “Kim never had anything like that in her past! I read the full dossier! Right, Dakota?! Back me up on this! That wasn’t what happened!”

She looked desperately to her creator, but paused when she saw that Dakota was just as stunned as she was.

Whatever the truth of the matter may have been, it was questionable whether or not Dakota even knew about it.

Amelia cleared her throat.

“Again… there is someone who would know the answer to that question,” she pointed out, indicating to the actual, confirmed assassin once more.

…Right. If they wanted to know the truth, they could just ask her.

Vivian was the first one to pounce. She couldn’t hide the amusement on her face as she stared playfully at the other girl. “So… what’s the story, morning glory?” She purred. “Was Kim really a badass super-secret assassin moonlighting as a wage ****?”

“Vivian…” Kim growled at her.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin’s expression turned complicated. Then, her smile disappeared for the first time. She looked sadly over to Kim, almost like she was feeling apologetic.

Softly, she nodded.

A hush fell over the beach. Kim’s jaw dropped in shock.

“Uh… ah… bwuh!?” A series of monosyllabic grunts fell out of her mouth as she tried to formulate a proper response to the tacit admission of the assassin, but her brain was drawing a blank.

Nobody knew what to think. Not Nick, not Vivian, not Gina, not Sylvia, not even Amelia and Dakota could really form a response to that! And certainly not Ella, who was hiding under the table.

But just as the reality of the situation was starting to sink in, and everyone started to seriously believe that maybe Kim had been gaslighting them all this time, the somber expression on the assassin’s face broke, and an amused smirk touched her lips again.

She held her sides and started laughing a bizarre, silent laugh as everyone processed what had just transpired.

It was Vivian who connected the dots first, and she joined the assassin in a hearty laugh of her own. Gina, quite a prankster herself, figured it out pretty quickly as well, and joined in, holding her sides and roaring.

Nick was a little more innocent. But when he saw how the trio was delighting themselves, he figured it out, and his cheeks flushed.

“That… that just isn’t right!” Kim finally managed to exclaim. “So you were just playing around all this time?! Getting them to believe… to believe-!”

She couldn’t even say it. “Vivian! Did you put her up to this?!” Kim snarled.

“What?! Me!? Why do you think I did this?!” Vivian protested, holding up her hands in defense and taking a step back.

“Because it’s the kind of thing you’d do,” Kim growled, narrowing her eyes and looking suspiciously at the other girl. She remembered the last prank Vivian had pulled on her, back in the boutique. That one had involved Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin, too!

“Hey, look, I didn’t have anything to do with this,” Vivian swore. “If Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin was playing around and teasing you with lies, that wasn’t because of me, I promise.”

She looked at the assassin, who shook her head.

“I think we can conclude simply here, that this was all a bit of fun had at Kim’s expense, yes?” Amelia said with a sigh, adjusting her glasses. “There was never any connection in the first place, Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin was just playing with her.”

Nick nodded. That made sense to him.

“I thought so!” Sylvia said firmly. “Our research is perfect! No way would something like that slip through, right, Dakota?”

Like a little puppy begging for compliments, she looked hopefully over at Dakota. But Dakota was Dakota.

“Oh, please, you were completely eating out of her hand,” Dakota snapped, glaring at her creation in disgust. “Any host could have told you she was lying. How gullible do you have to be, to fall for the lies of a woman who can’t even talk?”

Sylvia winced. “W-well… it’s BECAUSE she can’t talk that she’s so convincing!” She replied lamely.

Dakota snorted in response.

“Dakota, you believed her too, don’t get so high and mighty,” Nick pointed out. Dakota might be able to act like she was above it all, but Nick had seen the shock and alarm in her eyes. She’d honestly thought something had slipped through the cracks.

Dakota looked shocked and alarmed again… this time aiming her focus at Nick. But she didn’t have anything further to say, and she sank back into her seat.

With a sigh, Nick turned back to Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin. “Okay… listen, Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin. I know you enjoy playing pranks like that, but don’t lie, okay? It’s not okay to make that stuff up. Especially if it’s going to freak people out, alright?”

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin looked sad. But she understood where Nick was coming from, and she nodded, much to his relief.

“Good. So let’s forget about this whole ‘you knew about Kim before the show started’ thing, okay?” Nick asked hopefully.

The girl’s blue eyes widened, and she quickly shook her head.

That caught him off-guard. “…Wait… what?”

Gina leaned in curiously. “Wait… no way, seriously? You mean, you guys really did know each other, then?”

“I already told you! I wasn’t an assassin!” Kim protested.

Nick shook his head. There was just no way, right?

“Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin?” Amelia asked gently. “Is that the truth? Did you know each other?”

The dark-haired girl nodded her tiny chin. Kim just stared at her in shock, drawing a blank.

I… I knew an assassin? Why? HOW!?

She couldn’t even begin to remember meeting this strange woman before. Why would she ever have met her before?