But first, he has a date to go on

“Well, that was a yawnfest,” Saccharine complained loudly as they walked through the halls of the Brighton manor. “I actually fell asleep. Please, let’s go kill something, or fuck, or anything that isn’t more talking!”

“Excuse me!” Moira snapped, her face reddening. “I’d ask you to mind your language in my household.”

“Well, someone’s got a clamp on their cunt,” the fairy snorted back.

Moira’s face turned a bright red, and her eyes fell on Saccharine, alight with a murderous intent.

“How about you shut your trap before she pulls out the fly-swatter,” Red interrupted as she flicked the back of the dessert fae’s head, before turning to Moira and bowing slightly. “Sorry for this one’s tosh.”

“I-it’s fine,” Moira replied as she shot the fairy one last icy glare before briskly walking them into down the hall. “Now, you’re welcome to stay here for the time being, else I can arrange for you to be returned home?”

“Thanks for the offer, but I need to grind for some cash,” John replied, eyeing the woefully inadequate $569.00 listed on the quest he’d been given as soon as they left Lord Brighton’s study.

New Quest: Money Grubber
Acquire the necessary funds to make the upfront payment for a weapon from Kami.
Current: 569.00 / 6,000.00
Rewards:
500 EXP
2 Stat Points
Time Remaining: 23:14.46

“Nuh-uh, mister,” Red interjected. “You promised me we’d go shopping, remember? It was going to be a date.”

“I know, I know,” John said apologetically. “But I’m supposed to be meeting a swordsmith tomorrow, and right now I’m far below the base price.”

“And when exactly did this arrangement transpire?”

“Oh, uh, when I went to visit Nancy.”

“Clearly you and I need to have a chat later about what exactly happened when you went to visit him,” Red said sharply.

“Later. I promise,” John assured her. “But first I need mon-” John was cut off as his stomach grumbled loudly.

Even his own body was protesting, demanding to be fed. Despite Gamer’s Body, John was still constrained to the basic bodily needs of food, water, and sleep. He didn’t know how long he’d spent inside Nancy’s library, but he hadn’t eaten anything the entire time he was inside, so it wasn’t exactly surprising he was hungry.

“That settles it!” Red laughed as she lightly poked his stomach. “We’re going shopping first.”

“Fine,” John relented with a wry smile. “Who am I to argue with my stomach?”

“That’s an odd way of saying, ‘who am I to argue with my smoking hot girlfriend demanding we go on a date?’” Red pouted.

“Maybe I’m just hungry for a piece of you?” John replied, leaning in to kiss her, but was stopped as she placed two fingers over his lips.

“Oh my god, that was corny,” she chuckled, dancing out of his reach. “You need to work on that Charisma stat, darling.”

“Yeah… so I’ve been told,” John sighed in disappointment as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Ugh, do I seriously have to be dragged along while you two vomit all over each other?” Saccharine complained as she hovered in the the air with arms crossed.

“You could always just stay here,” Red shrugged. “Maybe even help out Moira?”

The fae’s eyes glanced towards paladin in question, who returned the gaze icily.

“I suppose I could put up with this creature while the two of you go on your… date,” Moira begrudgingly said in reply. The last word sounded like tar in her mouth, and John could only give a sheepish and apologetic smile in response.

“Yeah,” the dessert fairy agreed. “It sounds like a lovely time, so sure, why not?” The fae’s wide grin was full of mischief, and the look on Moira’s face betrayed that she was already having second thoughts.

Red clapped her hands together once. “It’s settled then!”

She practically skipped to the exit, golden-blonde hair bouncing and towing John by hand. Moira quickly arranged for Reginald to drop them off by car at the mall, which would then return an hour later to escort them to their temporary safehouse for a security orientation. Soon, the both of them were snuggled into the back seat of the same black sedan that they’d arrived in, as the car slowly wound down the cobbled driveway of the Brighton Estate.

---

“Soooo-” Saccharine began while sitting idly on one of the suits of armour as they watched Red and John go.

“By the Lady, if something vulgar comes out of your mouth, I will smite you,” the red-headed paladin with a stick up her arse warned.

Saccha held up her hands innocently. “Nothing of the sort, cross my sugary little heart.”

“Then speak,” Moira replied while eyeing the fae with great reproach.

“So, you’re sweet on Johnny, huh?”

There was a slight twitch in the Paladin’s eye that warned the fae of the incoming attack. It gave Saccharine just enough time to dance into the air, safely outside of the Warden’s reach.

“Just you wait until I get my hammer…”

---

The shopping mall wasn’t all that busy for a Thursday afternoon, not that John took issue with that. It was nice being able to walk around arm in arm with Red, free from the nuisance of navigating a large crowd.

“Any preference on food?” he asked her.

Red paused and tilted her head slightly. At first glance she appeared to be mulling over his question, but John had been around her enough to recognise she was sniffing the air.

“Follow me,” she ordered after a few seconds, her voice practically salivating.

She marched them past the mall’s food court and onto a backstreet where a number of cafés and greasy spoon restaurants resided. Red’s nose led them to a small ramen shop named Satonaka’s, wedged between a second-hand shop and a rather downtrodden looking bookstore. But they didn’t so much as pause at the door before Red hurried him in and ordered “whatever that wonderful smell” was. The waitress who received the order regarded them with a bemused expression. She was a rather pretty Anglo-Japanese girl, with short-cut brown hair and a pair of sparkling, ruby-red eyes.

“She means, we’ll get two bowls of the chef’s special, thanks,” John translated, offering a $20 bill to her.

“And add a bowl of the pork one, as well,” Red intervened.

John sighed, and pulled out an extra $5 bill. The waitress nodded and accepted the payment before briefly disappearing out back, leaving John and Red to take a seat. It was a humble little restaurant, with only three tables and the counter packed into a cramped space. A wrinkled old chef could be seen behind the curtains that separated the kitchen from the dining room, if you could even call it that, and the only other staff to be seen was the aforementioned young waitress who seemed to be his granddaughter.

John hadn’t eaten here before; he’d never been the kind of guy that went out to dine, since up until he’d been given his powers he’d been living the life of the quintessential virgin nerd. But those were, thankfully, bygone days now. While he wasn’t exactly sailing on clear waters, John felt his life was heading for the better now. He had an awesome set of powers, had made new friends, and even had a hot werewolf girlfriend who was totally open, nay, encouraged the idea of his own harem.

He had to admit, it did smell rather lovely inside the compact restaurant. It was amazing that Red’s nose had picked it up from so far away; suffice to say, John was looking forward to tasting what had gotten Red salivating. Thankfully, as there were only a few customers, their meal came relatively swiftly, and soon John found himself inhaling first-hand the steamy scent of soy and miso.

“I hope you enjoy your meal,” the pretty waitress said in a pleasant tone as she served them their bowls of hot ramen.

“Thanks,” John smiled back, but the pretty waitress already had her back to him.

In the time it took to blink, Red had already inhaled a third of her first bowl. “Thish ish... really good!” she said in between giant slurps of the stringy noodles.

“Just remember to breathe,” John replied with a bamboozled smile, before turning his attention to his own bowl of steamy goodness.

It. Was. Heaven.

The rich taste of marrow in the pork broth danced along John’s tongue and filled his body with a holy warmth as it travelled to his belly. He found himself deeply regretting that this was only the first time he’d come here and determined to make a return visit in the near future.

He let out a hearty belch as he emptied the last remnants of broth into his belly. His entire body felt warm and fuzzy, but while his tongue craved more, his stomach felt bloated on what it had already consumed. Another drop would have made him burst.

“Your sense of smell is fucking amazing,” John sighed in satisfaction. “That was fucking amazing.”

“Yep,” Red giggled in agreement, as she finished her second bowl. How she’d managed to finish two was beyond John. “The nose knows.”

“Looks like I’m not the only corny one,” John teased before briefly running his tongue over her lips with the added bonus of them tasting like pork broth.

“Mmm, that’s right, mister,” Red purred, contrary to her wolfish nature, as she returned his kiss.

They snuggled together in silence for another minute, revelling in the lingering afterglow of the meal before giving their regards to the waitress on the way out. John had planned on taking Red clothes shopping immediately after their meal but couldn’t help getting sidetracked along the way in a models and memorabilia shop he liked to pop into every now and then.

John was actually the proud owner of a collection of figurines at home. The most prized among them was a statue of A2 from the game NieR: Automata, reason being a manufacturing error had caused her eyes to be printed as green instead of blue. He’d been eyeing her sister statue, 2B, for months now but hadn’t had the pocket money to afford it. She came dressed in her blindfold and iconic victorian maid outfit, puffed shoulders, frills, and all.

Unfortunately, the 2B on display in the shop wasn’t factory error, but she was limited edition and on sale. John knew that he ought to save his money rather than spend it on what amounted to a shelf decoration, but her being on sale was enough to push him into the purchase.

“Need another arse to admire, ay?” Red smirked. “Though I gotta say, I’d be a tad jealous to see those hips in motion… and more than a little wet.”

“If only,” John laughed.

They continued their wandering, eventually finding themselves browsing the racks of a chic women’s clothes store.

“What do you think of these?” his girlfriend asked, holding up a red-lace shirt and dark blue jeans to her body.

“Looks great,” John smiled.

“Okay,” she said simply, before handing him both articles.

“What about this?”

“That’s great too.”

“And this?”

“Also great.”

Red scowled at him. “You’re not being very helpful.”

“What?” John asked, more than a little bewildered. “It genuinely looks great on you.”

“But so have all the others,” she replied, voice touched with irritation.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I’m growing dissatisfied with the adjective ‘great’,” Red pouted. “I want to look smashing.”

“Well, maybe some colours other than red for a bit of diversity?”

“Nope. Red’s my colour,” Red replied firmly, leaving no room for debate.

“Does this shirt look good?”

“Eh, I’m not really feeling that one,” John voiced.

“Why?”

“Dunno,” John shrugged.

“Ugh, you’re useless,” Red complained and tossed the shirt at him anyway.

“So why even bother asking me?” John wondered out loud. “It should be abundantly clear I’m no personification of style and fashion sense.”

“Because I want your opinion. Now quit whining and praise me,” Red demanded.

John at least had the sense to hold back the comment that if he had to praise her it wasn’t an opinion. It took them three full laps of the store, Red constantly adding, swapping, and subtracting from the growing pile of clothes in John’s arms, before she was finally satisfied enough that they could proceed to the checkout.

“Great… well, that was easy enough,” John said pleased to find that the clothes Red had him buy were thankfully either on sale or not all that expensive, considering what else was on offer. This meant he still had over $300 left in his account by the time they finished in the store.

Red just laughed.

Soon John was hauling several bags worth of clothes, mostly coming in shades of red. While there was the occasional white, blue, or cream colour among them, they were in the minority. It was great, then, that John had spare inventory space to make use of. As an added bonus, when everything was packaged into bags it counted as a stack rather than each individual article taking up a slot. But what was truly dismaying was the sight of his cash balance falling in large increments, all the way back into the dreaded double digits. “And aren’t you the rich one?” he complained. “Not only am I a glorified shopping trolley, I’m even the one buying everything!”

“Well, I suppose I could,” Red said with an amused look in her eyes. “But if I use my own credit card, Pa will know exactly where we are.”

“A fair point,” John conceded, though that didn’t make him any happier.

“So, how close to zero are we?” Red inquired.

“Close enough that I’m gonna say no more,” John laughed. “Please.”

“Aww, and here I was thinking we could get some nice lingerie,” Red said suggestively as she pressed her body against him. “Maybe I can put on a show for you later…”

Any inhibitions about spending the last of his money were suddenly swept away. ‘I’m almost there already, might as well go for broke,’ he mused. “Well, you make a persuasive argument,” John consented, standing at full salute now. “I know of a place where we’ll find what we need.”

Red pecked his cheek and giggled. “Then lead the way.”

It was only a minute’s walk to the place John had in mind, a lingerie store called Felicity’s. Mannequins wearing the skimpiest of lingerie and posters of erotically posed models lined the shopfront, though you could not see inside the store from the entrance, setting the imaginations of horny teenagers like John alight. He’d been dreaming of some sort of justification to enter Felicity’s for years, and now he had one in the form of Red.

“John,” Red said as she pulled firmly on his arm. “That place smells like bad news. Let’s not go in there.”

John was unable to mask the disappointment on his face, leading Red to double down. “I’m serious, as much as I’d love to pose for you right now, I won’t step a foot in there. I don’t trust it.”

“What do you mean?” John asked, now curious as to what had caused her to get so agitated.

“I can’t place exactly what it is,” she snapped. “But whatever it is, I don’t like it.”

“Alright,” John conceded, though he was disappointed he’d have to wait to see how outrageously hot his girlfriend would look in lingerie. “It’s not like there aren’t other lingerie stores around.”

“Okay,” Red agreed, giving him an apologetic smile.

“Hey, no need to be sorry,” John said. “I love you, and I trust your judgement. I’m just glad to have spent this time with you today.”

Red snuggled against his chest and held him tightly. No words were necessary, but she said them anyway.