But I Forgot Something Important

I had to wonder which path I was on. I had to ask myself which future I was embracing.

I had to know that the decisions I made here and now had ripple effects down the line. That they could lead me to so many futures where I would be content, but not happy. That they could also even lead me to worse.

There was an undeniable draw to getting close to Rachel. Beautiful and charming and popular and fantastic in every single way. The object of my envy and my desire and if you asked the old me, the man I used to be, whether there would be any downside to getting as close to her as possible I swear I wouldn't be able to think of a single thing.

But then again I wasn't him anymore. I was Emily Ross.

And she was different.

I was different.

At my words Rachel pulled me in closer. An affectionate little movement that was friendly, not romantic. Of course that was the problem in the future, that was the real issue.

The her and me that were together down the line. We were close, but niether of us saw the other as the real end. We were always looking for someone else who could satisfy.

"I'll still be your mentor, babe," Rachel reassured me, "You don't have to worry about that. It's me and you against the whole damn school. Taking on all comers, with every possible interpretation of that in mind."

She started to drag me forward again, still chatting out loud and bulldozing through the conversation which at this point I very much appreciated.

"No time to rest on our laurel, though in the end I suppose you've been doing a whole lot of that already. Well then again maybe not.

"I mean one could hardly call what you were doing resting. Given relative sizes I'm sure you had a whole lot to work with. Am I wrong?"

I blushed, rubbing at the side of my face and confessing, "My jaw is still aching a little, truthfully."

"That's my girl," she said, "He seemed like a fun choice. Not the one I would have made, mind you. Fit and big and just delicious top to bottom."

I remembered the three options. The stoner, the girl, and Jake.

"Which one would you have chosen?" I asked.

"The stoner," she said, almost dreamily, "I like 'em so I can overpower them. Thin and almost gangly. Plus he seemed like he'd know how to chill, you know? Not that you were doing much chilling. Not yet at least."

I shook my head, "I don't know that I ever will with him. Jake was nice, but I mean... it's... I don't know."

"Jake," she cooed at me, "That's a fun name. Jake the... football player?"

I nodded, "He's on the touch football team and the school team as well. The real one."

She smiled, "Well maybe we'll just sign you up for the cheerleading squad. You two could wind up real stereotypical."

"No," I went pale, "No way I'm becoming a cheerleader. That's... so far out of my realm of expertise that-"

"But that's the point," she whined, cutting me off, "The point of college is to do new things. Things you never would ordinarily do. Things that you'd never imagine you could do. To have some real fun with..."

She trailed off when she saw my face, that her words were clearly not enticing me.

"Fair enough," she replied, "Enough for today at least. I mean having your... fun with him and getting his number is enough that I won't push too much more on-"

"Fuck," I stopped dead, cursing bluntly and cuttingly.

"What?" Rachel asked, turning to look at me.

"His number," I confessed, "I never got his fucking number."

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