But, I'm still alive?

(I'm doing a rework of these chapters, consider this a WIP)

There sat Entrant 147# of the day. A young blonde man with blue eyes. Wearing a sweater vest over a dress shirt. Clean well-pressed slacks and the expression of someone who only caught what they were thinking about a few minutes ago but still hasn't caught up to the situation around them. A quite usual expression. A quite typical one.
Across from him sits who is always sat across from the entrants. The processer. The one in charge of moving souls along. Never is that job straightforward but it is always done with all the expediency that can be mustered, all the respect that can be spared, all the skill there is to offer. It is sacred work and treated as such. Processors go without name, and work until the work is finished. ding
It seems he's thought of something to say.
End exposition.
Narration passed off to Narrator B.

Male: "Um, tall porno lady, I'm still alive?" he says innocently
Female: "YOU'RE WHA-" SHOCK
"No you're not. Only dead people here. I checked, I want you to know, I checked." Exasperated relief
Male: "Are you dead?" he sounds like little Timmy
Female: "... ... ... Am I?" she looks uncomprehending.
Male: "You, you don't know? It's okay he gives that you poor thing look
We can find a way out together and, clothes, I'm not like you. I'm a good boy." He tries to say, like a big Timmy
Female: "I am naked by choice." irritated
Male: "I didn't know. I might have some money on me." Generous kind Timmy
Female: "I'm not poor I'm beyond money."
Male: He digs into his pockets harder "Stop that. Being a communist is bad for your health, you gotta eat. Maybe that's how you died. You were retarded."
Female: "... Are you related to the poop guy?"
Male: "I think he's my grandpa, but I don't know, my dad was a serial killer. We moved around a lot. Anyway, my dad said to always help those in need, or else. I don't have much but here's a quarter you can buy gum"
Female: "You summon anything you truly desire in this room. In fact, it isn't voluntary. You don't wanna give me money"
Male: "I can?"
Female: "Yes"
Male: "Is that you dad?"
Father: "Yes son, I finished my sentence WHILE YOU DAWDLED IN THIS ROOM WITH THIS SLUT. Let's go home together, I've been wanting to play catch!"
Male: "Oh, dad, I've missed you."
Female: Actively reading notebook "This explains a lot"
Dad: "DISGUSTING WENCH, WHORE, MONSTER, RAPIST, YOU WANT TO CORRUPT MY SON."
Male: "Oh dad, she's retarded, she thinks I'm dead."
Dad: "Don't fall for her tricks, she WANTS YOU. LIKE THE OTHERS."
Male: Shrugs "I guess, it's just dad, you have no legs and umm, you might be dead"
Dad: "Nonsense looks down WHERE ARE MY LEGS!"
Female: "An x here, a yes there, just gotta forge your signature."
Dad: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LEGS?!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!!"
Male: "I can't think of anything honestly."
Female: "Yeah you're insane, filled out the paperwork. You're gonna be smart, good boy. I'm sending you to hell. smiley face come again."
Male: "What about consent?"
He falls through the floor.
As he's falling
Male: "Dad never told me life had an R rating. Why is it so hot?"
looks down
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Five-hundred yeah, I can't count. Somewhere below, let's see, oh its getting closer, gotta love the high definition of falling from the stratosphere. We got volcanos, somethin brown and yup can't see shit. That's smoke. A world of it. A hellhole. He's gonna have a short life...
12 minutes later
A dragon? Oh, it's coming straight for us. It just grabbed him. ooh, it threw him, then caught him. Huh, I wish I could play catch with myself, thats gotta be the best use of a protagonist in years. As a beginning this'll be...
That dragon is swallowing him. What am I gonna tell the PROCESSOR? Fuck fuck fuck fuck ding
Actually, doesn't? Kaboom
Well... I should've known. Dragon fell through the sky in a million pieces
Contracts... The power of contracts.
He lands
Speaking of landing, as is customary in reincarnations he fell from the heavens like a meteor, voiding the reality of impact, landing soft as a feather when he got to the ground but sounding like whatever a planet losing its ozone must sound like.

He touched down on a wall, from above the place it looked like an old fort. Situated to look up at jagged cliffsides and down on several paths in-between. From above, the fort looked useful, from here though? Its seen better days. Whatever stone it's made from, the surrounding cliffs have the same, and they're in better shape. That's not to say they look good.
Male: exhausted confused "Where am I? Furious What are you things?" he spoke into his surroundings, incredulous
Having just landed an inch from the ground and mere feet away from orcs I understand, but that was a bad move.
An orc each, lay to his left and right, deafened terrified and probably more surprised than him they ain't dead, but still, they were everything they were before these last few minutes. Every bit as deadly and hostile.
*He'd been seen.

Within the next twenty seconds*
I don't know how, but he judged it correctly.
The left orc raised to his feet in seconds, the man responded immediately; Using his quarter, he flung an eye out from that orc. Realizing the intruder, the other orc hopped to his feet double time. Recovering from his shock he attacked with great speed but too slowly, the man side-stepped, then smashed the orcs achilles heel before going for the other. He got them. The orc couldn't stand, it fell off the wall into the smoke below, no hope for survival. The half-blind orc pounced, missing his grapple he nearly went off the wall too, well, until he was pushed off a second later.
The man had lived. Unusual. Not bad.

I've decided, I like this guy. Got spunk. He may have made a decent choice of lives. He seems so well adapted to this one. He'll be a demon king in no time. She usually sends losers who die on day one. Oh, I am so excited.
Male: "Who is that?"
To his next victim
Male: "The narrating fool who won't shut up!"
Say what?
Male: "I can hear you. What are you, a tool of the whore?"
I'm not here. You're insane.
Male: "Watch me fool. Write my deeds, if you're her eyes, show her regret."
... Yeah sure. So long story short cause fuck him
Male: "Full-story"
Yeah sure kid. He killed them all. Even the babies. The only orc left is on a leash. I think he was born for this. I'mma leave it at that.
Male: "Why are you useless?"
I report what I want, that's the important shit kid.
Male: "I will find you"
Gooood luuck Tiger. III'MMM Roootttiiinn foor yaaa.
Secretly though this guys a psychopath. You're gonna love him, you ever seen an orc beg? Hilarious.
Most disturbing thing I've seen since the last guy. I suppose I should explain the aftermath though. He broke the supports, played run around the castle, kicked kids like football uh the British kind, less up more forward. Then just threw shit, constantly, plates children a few knives. I was surprised when he used them as bowling pins. But hey, I'm only the great Narrator, I don't invent this shit. I just eat it up popcorn not provided. But let's skip ahead. He killed a few orcs, woopity fuckin do. He didn't die against overwhelming odds? And? I don't see no ring. He ain't nothin.
Now he's bein led around by his most ardent admirer. What can I say orcs like big shiny brains, they good for eatin and murder, that's their race's first orgasm. Can't say I agree with it, I like orgasms the old fashioned way.
Male: "If I kill myself do you go away?"
Yeah but you don't...

8 seconds later
Male: "I want one without a narrator."
Female: "You fuckin people."
Dad: "Son, you're back!"
Female: Pulls up a list "Pick"
Dad: "Um son, I'm still here."
Male: "This one"
He falls again
Dad: "Son!!!"
He gets progressively quieter, peace.
Thank you for reading WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Isekai edition. There's gonna be a few more of these to set up other characters. Because even if there's one ring to rule them all that's no good without other suckers, we need variety. The spice of the after-life.
Who are you?
The better narrator. Welp I'm done.
No, wait-
I'm lonely.
Abandoned twice in one day sucker
Who's that?
Begins introduction to other voices Hi my name is-

Four hours pass but no one responded. The narrator is alone, I am the narrator, I am sad.

PS: The ability to summon what you desire most was removed as a feature after that. That fucker didn't go away, had to listen to his legless ass for three more passings.