umm actually!

"So whadya think, doesn't it sound great?"
"I'm not that into number two actually."
"sighs I TOLD YOU to ignore the VIDEO." trembling
"But, you played it, I remember specifically, you had a meltdown, then pushed the button"
"I didn- you saw that?"
looks at her then the desk "yeaahh?" Curiously
She opens her notebook "Oh you've gotta be. YOU KNOW HIM?"
"Sir shits a lot, yeah, he's my uncle. Isn't that why you showed it to me? Cause we're family?"
"... Yes that is exactly why. You need comfort in this time of great need. Comfort."
"You're shaking"
"No I'm not" She pulls out a really big hand fan and hides herself behind it
"I can see your hand shaking"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT, I KEEP GETTING YOU PEOPLE YOU'RE LIKE ANTS."
"YOU PEOPLE. Now look here, I've heard a lot of things and seen a lot of things looks at his no legs. But this is going too far. Who do you think you are?"
"God the eternal and everlasting"
"Well, I'm a Christian."
"And?"
"C'mon, god's not a woman, even I know that."
"Inspiring, and what am I?" condescension
"You know now that I get a better look at you. I think my son jerks it to you on onlyfans"
"Of course, you would say that, the uh, Christian father"
"It's not a swear word, I know my sins!"
"Yeah, I have better things to do, here's your list of options, be quick."
"Hold on now this is a whole packet, I need to review my options. Ever since I had no legs, I've become real careful."
"Riiiggghhhttt." looks through notes
"Not a gambler anymore?"
"What no, I couldn't. I'm better than that."
"Finish it in five seconds and I'll get you a free honda civic"
"No. chuckling A dodge challenger."
She points her finger up "I knew I had the right guy haha!!"
Five seconds later "You read it" Floored
"How?"
"Oh, it was nothin. My dad used to dangle me over his pit of snakes before bed and have me read my own bedtime stories. tears good times. He was a south African zoologist. more tears. I just get so teary when I read"
"Well I'm sure just one last- You didn't finish your name" sudden stop stare
"Oh, I didn't? I wonder why that could be? Maybe these terms aren't fair? That couldn't be, are you trying to abuse me?" Feign shock
"Never, good man" Gritted teeth "What might be your concern today?"
"Oh just a little thing, according to article 4 section 6 of the agreement no materialized goods or objects can be borrowed from this dimension or transferred from it that did not come from a previous dimension of living people. Do you think I expect you to hotwire me a dodge challenger? Scratched?" A deranged look
"Never, that'd be ludicrous. I have one just at home."
"Section 4, all of section 4 is about which lies you can tell. This is your home."
"hiisssssss. You are correct. Good sir. But you will have that dodge challenger, spotless. I promise." unveiled veiled irritation. She's vibrating.
"By Jon's shitty name?"
Demonic rage "YES"
"Sign page twelve"
The letters are scratched with her fingers.
A dirty smile "Thaaank yoouuu. Goood doin business. My catalogue little lady?"
A list appears in the air. He looks it over deliberately slowly. Openly wondering, speaking sagas about which houses would have the highest property value based on the world's descriptions.
She loudly rages in the background.
Eventually three hours later, he chooses.
Chattering teeth, twitching eyes, claws digging into desk but making no purchase "Thank you sir, please come again."
"Only if you don't bring my challenger!"
A dirty smile "It'll be down shortly"
He falls through the floor
"Down?"
Looks down
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
looks up it's a dodge challenger! amazed
MY DODGE CHALLENGER
"YOUUUU WITCCHHHHH!!!!"

Huh, he's not my responsibility, you think I'm the only narrator, go somewhere else bozo. I got better tits to look at. Nothin' beats the goddess. And never will, hehe.
Oh uh this dopes done, best fool in a good while. The end.

30 minutes later
Dude: "It crushed me"
Duddete: "My condolences"
Duddete: "Have a nice day"
He tries to grab onto the floor that's still there falls through anyway.
Lands a few feet from the challenger wreckage.