Botany Expedition

"You want me to go pick some flowers?" you ask Lieutenant zh'Thracia, not sure if she was joking when she gave you the mission briefing.

"No, I want you to guard the botanists while they go pick some flowers," she says irritatedly. "It's an uncharted planet, so the landing party has to have at least two security personnel for the team's safety."

"Safety? They're flowers! Do the botanists really need me to defend them from the dangerous daffodils?"

"You know very well that alien plants can be dangerous. Remember what happened to Darnell?"

"Darnell was an idiot! The guy died from picking up a random plant and putting it in his mouth. Who does that?"

"Look, Doe, I don't write the regs, I just enforce them. Now, grab your phaser and meet the botany team in the transporter room. Crewman Dixon is going with you too."

"Dixon? Oh, c'mon Tracie! What did I do to deserve being stuck with her?"

zh'Thracia's antennae rear back and curve inward in a defensive posture while her eyes stare daggers at you.

"Oh, right. Never mind," you say somewhat sheepishly. "I'll just be on my way now."

Without saying another word, you grab your landing party gear from the storage locker and leave the armory, eager to escape the burning heat of zh'Thracia's silent -gaze.

"Dixon," you mutter to yourself as you make your way to the transporter room. "Why does it have to be Dixon?"

Crewman Sandy Dixon was a recent transfer to the Enterprise. She's a short, stocky brunette with pale skin and freckles, and is the biggest troublemaker and practical joker in the whole security division. Doctor McCoy put her on notice just last week for stealing laxatives from sickbay and reprogramming the food processors to mix them in the bridge crew's coffee. She even offered you a blowjob once for no apparent reason, and stupidly you accepted. After about twenty seconds, you found out she had hidden an Arrakeen sandtrout under her tongue. It took three nurses to pry that thing off of you without taking your dick with it. Now that you think about it, she's also the one who told you about the Andorian antennae sex thing in the first place.

You walk into the transporter room to find Transporter Chief Kyle, three "Blueshirts" (two "Blueshirts" and a "Blueskirt", actually), and Crewman Dixon who gives you a big cheesy grin as soon as you walk through the door.

"Hey John, I heard you had a 'smashing' good time on your date with the Lieutenant. Tell me, did you try the antennae thing?"

"Stuff it, Sandy," you snap back. This only makes her giggle in delight.

"Hey you two, get on the pad. We're ready to go," one of the botanists says impatiently.

"Come on, Big Boy," Sandy says to you playfully as you both shuffle towards the transporter pad. "Lets go pick some dandelions."