The Redshirt Misadventures

The Redshirt Misadventures

The Pleasures and Perils of an Expendable Crewman.

Chapter 1 by kinkygeek kinkygeek

Shhhk...Crash!

Your naked body just went sailing through the air, passing through an automatic door before slamming against the bulkhead. Dazed and not quite sure how or why you're now laying in the middle of the corridor, you look back in the direction from which you came and see a very angry Andorian woman, Lieutenant zh'Thracia, standing in the doorway to her quarters, also completely naked. Her antennae, which you had just learned the hard way are NOT erogenous zones, point straight at you accusingly.

"C'mon Tracie," she hates being called Tracie, "I was trying to be playful. That's no reason to toss a guy out an airlock," you say, trying to lighten the mood in hopes she'll let you back in. From the look on her face, she's not buying it. You hardly even notice the look on her face though because your eyes keep scanning up and down her blue-skinned body from the patch of white hair above her pussy to her iceberg-tip nipples.

"Fuck you, Doe! I'm going to make sure you're assigned to the Captain's next landing party!" she yells before turning her back on you and storming back into her quarters. You grin as you take the opportunity to admire her azure ass, but that grin is nearly knocked off your face as your own boot flies through the air towards you closely followed by your other boot and the rest of your red security uniform.

Before anything else comes flying at you through the door, you gather up your clothes and stumble to your feet. The other crew members mostly ignore you as you make your way back to your quarters. This isn't the first time they've seen you get thrown out on your naked ass after a botched one night stand, although usually you don't get literally thrown out. Deputy Chief of Security Lieutenant zh'Thracia, however, is quite possibly the strongest woman on the ship so you probably should have seen that coming. Also, since she is in charge of landing party assignments, it probably wasn't a good idea to piss her off. You have no regrets, though. You've been after a piece of that hot blue ass ever since you saw her at that crazy party about a week after you came aboard. Why doesn't the crew have more parties like that one, you wonder. Everybody was allowed to relax and do whatever they wanted for a day. You even remember seeing one of the bridge officers running around shirtless with a sword and thinking to yourself there's a guy who really knows how to blow off some steam.

Finally, you make it to your quarters. You walk towards the door without slowing your pace, expecting it to open with the same Shhhk sound every other door on this ship makes, but instead...

Smack!

Taking a step back, you carefully press your fingers against your nose to make sure it isn't broken before staring incredulously at the still closed and very solid door. "What the hell is going on here?" you mutter to yourself as you key your access code. The door slides open with a Shhhk, and now you can hear why the door was locked.

"Harder. Harder. come on, harder. Don't stop. Don't stop! Harder! Yes, like that! Keep going!"

Stepping into your quarters, you look over to your roommate's bunk and see him furiously pounding away with his dick at some bossy redhead with a crazed look in her eyes.

"Hey guys, don't mind me," you say casually as you toss your uniform on the floor.

"What the fuck!" the crazed redhead screams as she shoves your startled roommate off of her and scrambles for her uniform.

"John, what are you doing here?" your roommate asks.

"It's my quarters,"

"It's my quarters too, and aren't you supposed be out with the Lieutenant tonight?"

"You know what? I should just go," the redhead says while tugging at the red miniskirt of her hastily dawned uniform.

"Marla, wait," your roommate pleads after her.

"I'm leaving now, and you two can't stop me."

She storms off towards the door, then stops to turn around and stare at both of you.

"I said, I'm leaving now, and you two can't stop me." She looks back and forth between you and your roommate for a few more seconds before throwing up her hands in frustration.

"Ughh, forget it!" she exclaims as she storms out of your quarters.

"Did she... did she want us both to...?" you dumbfoundedly ask your roommate.

"Trust me, it wouldn't have been worth it," he says, looking exhausted and a little more relieved than annoyed at the interruption. "She always looks so meek and submissive, but in bed..." he shakes his head, "you'd have to be some sort of genetically engineered super-man to satisfy her."

You can't help but chuckle at that. Your roommate is about as fit as any other security crewman on this ship, but by no stretch of the imagination is he a super-man.

"So what happened with you? You didn't try that stupid thing with her antennae, did you?" he asks.

"Well..."

"I told you, Andorians don't like that shit. She threw you out, didn't she?"

"Yeah, literally."

"Ouch! I don't know what you were thinking, man. You've seen her lift weights. She could tear you in half if she wanted to."

"I know. That's part of the attraction."

"Jeez, sometimes I think you have a deathwish."

"As long as I die with a smile on my face, my friend."

You both settle into your respective bunks for the night and try to get some sleep before your next shift starts. You were in the middle of a particularly enjoyable dream about a planet filled with gorgeous blue-skinned women with red hair when the intercom started beeping. Groggily, you stumble out of bed and hit the switch on the wall panel.

"What is it?" you say into the intercom.

"Crewman Doe," you hear Lieutenant zh'Thracia's voice say with a bite of coldness. "Report to the armory on the double. I have an assignment for you."

Shit!

"Acknowledged. Doe out."

You switch off the intercom and start getting into your uniform. Whatever assignment Tracie has for you, it can't possibly be good.

What's the assignment?

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