Book 2: One year after the incident at the Albidian facility...

"...so... I guess that's about everything that has happened, at least lately. Maera and Mithra are really excited to get to combine with me again sometime soon now that it’s been a year, but after what happened, I have to admit, I'm kind of... scared. I know that probably sounds silly to say to you, of all people. It just feels like... like if I use my Twin-Souls Resonance ability with either of them, even if I only use it at its weakest, even if the cooldown is at its shortest... it feels like I could get caught off-guard. Like I could lose something important to me, like if I'm not at my best every moment of the day, I could lose someone.... lose someone like you. Does that sound selfish, or maybe just paranoid?"

Seras' headstone didn't answer. It never did, but talking to it somehow brought John the most peace of mind he could hope for these days. It had been a year since her ****, since the Albidians tore her away from him... but only a few months since the first time he had truly been able to sit down beside her final resting place and compose himself without falling into a rage- or grief-filled torrent of negative emotions. Torrents that usually ended with him throwing himself into a Barrier so suicidally that he was lucky to return with his life, much less his sanity.

"I, um... I've been checking up on the others, trying to balance out my lifestyle. Moira hasn’t sent any messages in a few weeks, so I don't really feel right dropping into the Order's mansion. Makes checking up on most of the others hard. I wish I could talk to Etriyya, or even send Maera back to training with Glenna, but... it feels wrong to just show up on her doorstep. I know I left in a pretty dramatic way... Someday, I'll pay her back for all that I owe her. Moira taught me about the Abyss and placed herself at a lot of risk to keep me safe... I really do need to show her how much I appreciate that.

"Oh, and Tricia's doing well! It seems like that eye she opened hasn't had any long-term effects. She said it was some kind of self-sedation eye, I didn't really understand it – but I guess it was shielding her from the mental breakdown she started having... until she was ready to deal with it a little better. Some kind of **** therapy? Sounded crazy, but it must have worked a little. I still want to go check on her, but... I'm sure she's doing okay. Maybe not as well as she pretends, but... okay."

John sighed, shaking his head at the lost connection to the Order. He knew it wasn't ideal, but he also understood that his choice to isolate himself wasn't without consequence. He brushed his regrets aside and continued talking a few moments later.

"Sometimes I drop by the Moon Clan base and check in on Kim when I'm out on a run. She's really angry at me for leaving her alone, but I think she's just frustrated I'm not around to train with her as often as I used to be. I don't know how much she cares about me actually being gone. I still stay in contact with Layla, but she always has these weird nerves around me. I can't figure out why she always seems nervous to meet up, or why she sometimes rushes off, even when she seems like she doesn't want to leave. She won't explain it to me no matter how many times I ask. I think... I think I might just let her be herself for a while, see if that helps her out. I don't know what burden I placed on her, but it seems like it might have been more than I should ask of someone."

John waited for a long while, just enjoying the quiet. Although it always made him sad... there was something relaxing about being here. At first he had avoided the gravesite, finding too many bad memories haunting the place... but as time went on, as he spent more hours clearing away the cinders of his burnt home and less hours seeking vengeance, he found it an oddly comforting place to be. Most of the others tended to avoid it, especially when he was there, which gave him plenty of time to talk... and to think.

"We, uh... we've expanded a bit, mostly in the northern and western regions. I kind of like the idea of using the southeast mountains as a "border" for the world, at least for now. Having unlimited options is kind of nice, but it sometimes makes it really hard to actually decide what's best. 'Analysis Paralysis', you know?

"Anyway, I expanded the plains a little, turned them into a nice little grassland... and then west of that it kind of fades into a desert. I wasn't sure about putting a desert in a world I wanted to fill with life, but I put some beaches on the south and there's this really nice area down there now for playing around in the sand. I expanded the forest to the north a bit, and then I put a river between it and the desert, so now there's some grasslands and marshes to separate the desert from the forest. I figured we could try making some new plant life that thrive out there at the edges of the desert that way. Plus we needed them for... well, I, uh... Um..."

John trailed off shyly, feeling suddenly nervous despite the fact he was speaking to a stone.

"I... I made myself use Purify again about a month ago. I was just... I've been so **** to do it, like I imagine everyone I create I'm going to lose. I'm not sure what triggered it, I just... really wanted to get over that. I think it worked out pretty... well? I have to admit, I was thinking about you both times," John said, sighing.

"I've only done it twice so far, the first a month ago and the other just last week. I still don't... like doing it. I feel like me thinking about you all the time isn't fair to my creations, but... I kind of like the way they turned out. There's this Naga – that's a snake-girl – named Shishun. She has your even temper, your loyalty, your devotion... I think she's modeled after your police-girl nature for sure. She loves sliding through the sands in the new desert, she's the one who requested it. Said the sun and the hot sand feel amazing on her scales, and she can move through the dunes like lightning.

"I also created an elf-girl named Orria who has all your curiosities, and innocence, and just... she loves the world. She loves everyone in it, and she wants to learn as much as she can about our world and help everyone. She's as selfless as you, and I love her for it, but... I still feel odd comparing everything to you. I kind of wish I could stop... but I can't. I'm not even sure I really want to."

John took a long, heaving breath. It felt good to get these things off his chest, thoughts that plagued him day-in and day-out, thoughts he didn't dare share with anyone else, even Sophia. He didn't doubt that Sophia would still respect him as a leader, still love him as a romantic interest, he just felt like... if he couldn't stop thinking about these things, day-in and day-out, how could anyone else look at him without thinking about the same things? He didn't want to do that, and he didn't want to be judged. He wanted to pretend everything was normal.

Because admitting it wasn't might destroy the tiny foundation of sanity he'd built for himself.

John **** his mind to move on from that topic, and thought of something else. Something more recent, something that had been bothering him.

"I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like... is any of this for real, or not? Sometimes I wonder if I'll wake up in a hospital bed, or just in my normal one, like all of this time passed and it was just my mind wandering like crazy. The more time I spend in this world, away from people I used to know... the more it starts to feel like that could happen at any second. It's been that way ever since I lost you, ever since... the Albidians. I think it's just stress, but... I've also been having strange dreams.

"Sometimes I hear voices, like they're trying to draw me in, but there's so many I can't understand what they're saying. Other times I see these symbols, and when I wake up they're burned into my mind. I feel like I can just close my eyes and still see them, as if I was dreaming again. I tried writing them down, carving them in the dirt... nothing happened. But they keep showing up. Things have really gotten weird around here, that's for sure, but... I dunno. It's probably nothing, honestly. I think I've just been isolated for too long... but it's still weird, right?"

John sighed, surrendering the line of questions and curiosity to the empty void. Seras had no better answers than he did, no matter how much better it felt to share these questions, these thoughts that he could voice to so few others.

"I think I need to get out more. I'm going to check and see if the Order has left any messages... It's been so long I'm starting to wonder if they gave up on me. Anyway... I promise I'll visit soon. Take care, okay?"

John gave a sad smile as he stood up and turned toward the southeastern mountains. He only hesitated for a moment before he set off toward their distant peaks, as he always did. Visiting Seras' grave was... it was something he simultaneously dreaded and anticipated. There was so much unfinished between the two of them that visiting it felt like a second chance, or a new beginning... and departing it felt like severing that tie all over again.

Still, he had a job that he must accomplish no matter how certain he was that disappointment awaited him. He wasn't exaggerating when he said that Moira hadn't messaged him at all lately. It had been well over a month, maybe longer considering how infrequently he'd been checking the drone. Maybe today would be the day he finally got a message from her again.

John trailed off into the mountains, in no particular hurry. The day was still young and he had nothing of particular importance to accomplish. He'd trained furiously his first few weeks in the Barrier, Reincarnating twice in just the first month alone... but as the fires of his rage and grief died down to a slow burn, he found himself finding solace in more things like this. Just walking, looking over his world, enjoying the sights and having some time to himself. He knew the day would come when he felt strong and safe enough to return to the old world... but the peace until then was nice.

Eventually, though, his plodding pace carried him to the stone he'd specially marked to signal the spot he'd buried the drone, deep within the mountain's stone. John willed his Elemental Infusion into effect. It was the skill his Elemental Control had evolved into, after weeks of using it to light campfires, retrieve the drone, and control his world's waterways.

Elemental Infusion
Active Spell [Channeled]
Effect: As long as this spell is being channeled, the user may control any of the following elements: Water, Fire, Earth, Air, Electricity, Ice, and Metal. The user may also control the ambient effects of Light and Darkness, though not the sources of these effects. The user may control a volume of these elements equal to X cubic feet, where X is equal to the user's Intelligence score. The user may choose to infuse mana into this ability while controlling the element, up to a maximum of the user's Wisdom score, spread evenly through all controlled material. While infused this material will discharge the mana on contact if the user wills it, inflicting (.02 x Intelligence) damage per point of mana spent, or blocking up to (.05 x Intelligence) if used defensively (based on the effectiveness of the element being channeled versus the attack blocked).
Mana Cost: 0 to control mundane elements. Variable cost to infuse the element.

The rock twisted, melted, and spiralled away, bringing the drone to the surface in only a second or two. Thankfully, once Tricia eventually woke up, she programmed the drone to go into sleep mode whenever John sealed it away and wake up when it was freed – otherwise the dwindling battery life would have been gone months ago.

"Alright, let's see what's going on this time," John said, turning the drone over to look at its interface. It whirred to life, displaying a rather surprising message on the screen.

1 New Recorded Message

"I'll be, maybe it is my lucky day," John said, smiling as he started the recording.

"John, I hope to Gaia you find this message in time." The video played was not of Moira... but rather, of Tricia.

"Ah shit," John thought, a familiar chill running down his spine.