Book 1 Final Epilogue

One day after the incident at the Albidian facility...

The silence was overwhelming, but no one was brave enough to break it. There was a tension in the air that seemed impenetrable to steel, much less to words. Dead air hung with the weight of passions and feelings unspoken, but felt by all. What finally broke that lingering discomfort was not someone brave, nor someone daring enough to risk themselves to fracture it. Instead, it was broken by a sigh. A long, exasperated sigh by a man so fractured that perhaps he was the only one who had little enough left to lose to risk himself in breaching the quiet air.

John knelt with his head to the crossguard of his blade, plunged into the dirt of his own private world. With a voice both pleading and unwavering, he spoke to all of his creations gathered around the now-filled grave.

"If anyone would like to speak... if anyone has anything they wish to be heard, by us or by her, let them do so now."

For a long while, no one said anything at all. Words were conjured, brought to mind, and then dismissed as petty or irrelevant. Nothing seemed as sacred or as sorrowful as the scene before them. John waited a few moments longer and then sighed again, nodding to himself.

"I... I understand. I want you all to know that. I have much that I wish to say, but none of it in anything but pure solitude. Thank you all for being here. This ceremony is not what she deserved, but it is what we can give her. You are... free to leave, as you wish."

Some departed immediately. Others like Maera and Mithra stood by for a long while, watching over John as if to protect him from whatever demons awaited him inside his mind when he was left alone. Eventually, however, even their protection waned, drawn away from John by the necessities of time and life. A full day after the conclusion of the funeral proceedings, John still stood by Seras' grave, one arm upon his blade and another outstretched to the stone.

It was not an elegant or fancy thing – Seras wouldn't have wanted a "posh" gravesite to mark her resting place. It was a single headstone, carved by John's Crafting ability to have only her name, the date of her Purification and ****, and nothing else. John wanted to put a memorable or meaningful quote, but... in the face of it, when John actually tried to think of something, it all felt hollow. Nothing held as much meaning in a sentence as Seras held to John, and nothing seemed worthy. So there laid a large blank slate, waiting for the day John would carve something into it.

That wasn't to say her gravesite was entirely without meaning, of course... John had, in fact, made it the single most meaningful thing in his realm as of yet. The headstone of Seras' grave stood in the ruins of their former home, having burned to the baseboards while he was out fighting with the Albidians.

John had cleared away the debris and burnt remnants of house and home, shoving them into large enough piles to create a path and a sizeable mourning area surrounding the headstone... but he could not think of a more appropriate place – or way – to honor her than to rest her below the space they had spent so many nights in. Surrounded by the ashes of the home she had sacrificed herself to defend. Resting in her well-deserved home, laid to rest where everyone would know what she died for. An honorable ****, a warrior's ****, a...

"Fuck honor. Fuck memory. Fuck respect... I just want you back, Seras. I’d break the whole world to get you back. I'm so sorry..."

Finally alone, having stood wordless and nearly motionless for a full day, John let himself break down at last. The anger was gone now that he was away from the corrupt and the wicked, and his walls had fallen now that the others had left. The righteous fury had faded to embers within the Shard embedded in his chest. The shock, numbness, and stupor had all run their own individual courses and faded away to memory.

All that was left was grief. Raw, painful sorrow, and the desperation that came with it.

First, John had spent the initial hours after the departure of the others poring over his menus and abilities, praying for anything he might have overlooked. Barriers, Purify, and even Twin-Soul Resonance all gave him brief flickers of hope due to his ignorance... but there was nothing there. Even Evellyn confirmed that his abilities could create new life – an amazing enough feat – but that he was powerless to restore life which had been lost. His experiments attempting such had been… disappointing. And scarring.

Then, he had spent some time praying. His last attempts to contact his "benefactor" or whoever was responsible for his magical abilities had given him that Find Your Own Path quest, so clearly someone was watching him... or at least listening to his most **** moments.

But no amount of praying seemed to help this time. He prayed to Gaia, to the Lady, to his "benefactor"... all went unanswered, all were as cold and unfeeling as the stone he now had wrapped in both arms. So John abandoned faith, he abandoned rationalization, and did what he always did in times of crisis...

He turned to cold, hard quests.

"I haven't finished most of these goals," John thought to himself, scanning over the Find Your Own Path goals. He'd met a few of them... mostly thanks to the final push he made against the Albidians and the blessings of having his children with Mithra that each boosted his relationship scores massively. There was still a part of him that wanted to complete the full set, but there was a larger part – a louder voice – more **** for one particular part of the rewards. A voice that cried out over all other objections John had.

"Fuck stats. Fuck experience. Fuck rewards... I want answers. Now."

John punctuated his words with an angry slam onto the virtual interface before him, slamming the confirm button and dismissing the doubting menu that questioned his will to turn in the quest. Rewards poured in, but John only briefly glanced over them.

Quest Rewards Received:
+10,000 EXP
+Lucky Striker Charm
+Tome of Subjugation
Perk: +10% Dungeon Cash Rewards
+10x Darling Passionfruit Seeds
+Seal of Remembrance

And then... nothing. Not that nothing happened – suddenly, it was as if there was nothing at all. John had been teleported to a white void, endless in scope and without any frame of reference for depth or distance. In this strange realm, he didn't even seem to cast a shadow. He looked around but spotted nothing for a long moment, only an endless white void. Without shadows and depth he couldn't tell where the ceiling or floor began or ended, if there were distant walls or he was only in a massive, empty void. He couldn't even really tell if he was walking; his feet made no sounds when they touched on whatever passed for a floor, and it was only the shifting of John's own weight that told him he might be moving at all.

"You don't need to go anywhere, my young Blade. I am here. In this domain... I am everywhere."

John turned at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. It was feminine, lilting, and yet it had a cold steel to it. A note of detachment, a blunted edge to all the emotions within that voice. When he looked behind himself, where he was quite sure that there had only been an endless expanse of white before, stood a woman.

Tall, beautiful, slender, and... somewhat threatening. That was the way John would describe her in an instant, as he gazed upon her form. She stood confidently, and yet in an alluring way. The shape of her long, slender legs was partially obscured by her dress' very loose lower half, complete with an exaggerated thigh-high slit with lacy edges and a long, see-through stripe spiralling around her legs. The dress itself was bright, pure white with black accents and detail work, which was true of most of her outfit. She wore pale white thigh-high stockings, with a black ring at the top. The dark ring was really the only way to clearly tell where her stocking ended and her creamy white skin began, so pale was the woman that she herself might not have stood out all that well against the world's background.

The dress continued upward into an open-chested design with black accents and satiny sashes, and her sleeves ended in oversized black cuffs that would have worked as well as a skirt as they did sleeves. Where her sleeves ended in those puffed-up, see-through black skirts at around her elbow level, she also had gloves on that went from her elbows to her hand, covering all but her pinky and ring fingers on both hands. Her dress was decorated with white roses at her hips and just below her collarbones, as well as a red pendant serving as a connector piece just below her neckline. She held a black-and-white fan in one hand, only partially open but still concealing much of the woman's jawline and mouth.

Her face... that was perhaps her most striking feature. Not only were the woman's eyes unusual – one a clear, almost crystalline white and the other a striking, iridescent red – but her hair was segmented into black and white sections, with a small ring of crystals seemingly bedazzled into the hair somehow. Black gemstones dotted the white sections of hair, and white gemstones dotted the black sections, and a final white flower was threaded through the top of her hair.

The woman slowly pulled her fan down, revealing a frowning face, one perhaps more sorrowful than angry.

"John Newman, my Blade, my Champion... you will receive your answers, as I promised. Ask me any question, and I will answer to the best of my abilities."

"Who the hell are you? Are you my 'benefactor' that Evellyn is always talking about?" John asked.

"I have gone by many, many names, though I have given myself none," the woman admitted. "Dike, Inanna, Maat... the non-religious have called me things like order, balance, karma... call me what you wish, John Newman. I am indeed your benefactor."

"Are you... are you Gaia?" John asked, staring at the woman closely.

"Yes. ...And no. I was Gaia. And I will be again, one day."

"Are you going to be that vague with all my questions?" John asked, just exhausted enough - mentally and emotionally – to get snippy with a goddess. The woman narrowed her eyes at him.

"I find your anger to be..." the woman said, pausing. Then she snapped her fan shut and nodded, as if to herself. "...just. You have been through a great deal, and I have not provided you with much in the way of aid. Very well... I will try to be more concise. I was being honest, not vague, about my many names. I have chosen no name for myself because I find them limiting; you may address me as you wish. Give me a name or refer to me by a title or honorific, if that pleases you."

John stayed silent, trying to figure this woman out. There had been a powerful... something in the air, just before she snapped her fan shut. It was as if the entire world had held its breath for a moment. John reconsidered his situation, and though he was still bitter, he tried to calm his voice a little. He couldn't recognize any of the names she listed with any meaning, but he had actually heard one before, even if it was out of context.

"Dike... I've heard that one before. Just once. The... creature, or spirit, or whatever that I Purified Vallya from... she said that she'd been watching me. That Dike wasn't the only one who had been keeping an eye on my progress."

"Yes, that was Jiina, another goddess. Jiina was indeed very... interested in you. She expressed a great deal of interest in experimenting with your abilities, and I gave her permission to approach you. I cannot say her interaction with you surprised me much, though the effects of your abilities on a willing Avatar were... quite interesting. Very surprising indeed."

"So you're my benefactor... I want you to fix what happened," John said, gesturing around as if they weren't in an empty void. "Bring Seras back!"

"That is... something I cannot do," the woman said, sounding remorseful although her face did not shift much. "I am sorry. There are many worthy that I would bring back if it were within my domain.”

"But... how? You said you were my benefactor, and if you can give or deny the other goddesses permission, doesn't that mean you're in charge?"

"I am but an Aspect," the woman said quietly, narrowing her eyes but not averting them. "I do not control all of the goddesses of this world. Only the Fragments and Shards beneath me."

"Shards... that 'Jiina' mentioned something about them too. But what are Aspects and Fragments? And why can't you help me?"

"All gods and goddesses are descended from Gaia. Most of us represent a part of her; the size and scope of that part determines rank, and power. There are ten Aspects, of which I am one – I am the Aspect of Justice, that which is right in the world. Fragments are the gods and goddesses below us, of which there are one hundred, ten for each Aspect. Shards are the lowest-ranking gods and goddesses, and there are hundreds of them remaining."

"Remaining?" John asked. She had spoken the word casually, as if a goddess disappearing was completely unremarkable.

"Shards are allowed to interact with the mortal realm on occasion, but they are far from invincible. Many stronger mages on your world could stand against them; over the millenia, a few have perished. Fragments have died as well, though less commonly. You know one of my Shards who fell, in fact."

"...Bishamonten," John breathed, clutching at his chest. The Shard inside him pulsed, as if it could sense what was happening.

"Yes... the Shard of Indignant Rage. The fiery fury that comes from witnessing injustice, or justice improperly served. A strong and brave warrior. I should not have given him permission to venture to Earth, but... I admired his passion and dedication, and his desire to enact my justice."

"So, then... none of the Aspects have ever died?"

The woman chuckled slightly. "Some would say that we cannot die... I would challenge that assertion; I believe it is only a matter of time before a warrior from your realm rises to that particular challenge. But it will likely never be put to the test – we Aspects bound ourselves to prevent chaos and destruction on the mortal realm. We may never set foot on Earth, nor may we interfere directly with the world below. That includes breaking fundamental laws of its existence... such as resurrecting the dead. We can only give power to mortals to act in our stead, and in limited circumstances we may allow Fragments and Shards to manifest on Earth, in Avatars or in person."

"So that's why you gave me my powers," John noted. "Could you come to my private world, since you created that?"

"I... I cannot. Because I did not create it."

"But... you said you were my benefactor?" John said, confused.

"That is the term that I gave to the personification of your interfaces to refer to me, that 'Evellyn' of yours. And it is true that I have given you many things – the rewards from your war against the Cabal, and those from many of the quests you have been receiving. I have interfered in some of your Barriers to influence what creatures challenged you. I have even stirred the dormant energies of the remains of Bishamonten within you, granting you some of his former power when I found you worthy. But I am only an Aspect. A reflection of Gaia. I do not have the power to bestow abilities like those you hold, ones which can rewrite fundamental rules of this world and the Abyss."

"...But if Aspects are the highest ranking gods and goddesses... then that means the only person who could give me these abilities was-"

"Was Gaia herself," the woman confirmed, nodding her head slowly. She looked past John for a moment, her eyes almost glazing over. "...Something she has not done in nearly one thousand years."

"O-one thousand... years?" John asked, awed. "What does she want with me?"

"I do not know," she said simply, shaking her head. "She has not spoken to us once since the day of our birth. Gaia remains sealed in a part of this realm that we cannot reach, and has never sent any message or form of communication from there. Several of the Aspects have tried to reach her, but to no avail. Which makes it all the more interesting and curious why she would choose to give you powers such as these – powers that defy the rules of the universe that she herself wrote."

"So if she's sealed away somewhere, and I have no way of knowing what she wants from me, or what she expects me to do..."

John sighed, his mind close to being overwhelmed. It was going to take time to process all this information – about gods and goddesses, and Gaia. Actually, it was only then that he realized Moira had been right. Gaia really had given him this gift. But none of that mattered now, because...

"Then I don't care what she wants," John said bitterly. "If she's as powerful as you say she is, if she can overwrite her own rules for the universe, she could fix things down here. Smite the wicked, raise the dead, re-write the Earth... she could bring back Seras. She could bring back Moira's mother, and Kim's mother, reunite Tricia with her family, and so much more. She could have slain the Albidians like she was batting an eye, she could give the Order the power to change things the way they truly want to. But... she hasn't. And she won't, will she?"

The woman facing John shook her head slowly, almost sadly. Her contrasted body flickered for a moment, as if disturbed.

"She will not. It is not our place to question why Gaia has isolated herself, or why she chose to give you these powers. It is our place to do something with them. I cannot descend to Earth, John Newman, and I do not have the full powers of Gaia at my disposal as I so desperately wish I did... but with you as my Blade, we may fix some of these problems. We can right some of these wrongs."

The woman extended one pale, partly gloved hand toward John. Though she had seemed a fair distance away a mere moment ago, suddenly she was standing directly in front of him, so close her fingers brushed his cheek.

"Continue down the path that you are on, and I will continue to aid you. Together we will do what Bishamonten and Isamu Masanori failed to."