Bob’s Childhood Best Friend: Darlene Thompson

Darlene wrapped the towel around her neck after wiping the sweat from her forehead. Not for the first time she wished she was brave enough to change in the women’s locker room. She’d come a long way but there were still miles left to go.

It all started to go sideways when she turned 18. Her best friend had left home to go off to school and left her drifting and aimless. Always vaguely on the edge of depression, bullied throughout high school, bad home life, and the feeling that she just wasn’t comfortable in her own skin, Bobby leaving town and cutting her off completely had just pushed her over the edge.

****. Drinking. High risk behavior that always left her feeling empty the next day. She struggled through a business psychology degree at the community college. Her mother died the day after graduation. That was the first time she tried to take her own life.

Realizing that she didn’t like girls was the first step to straightening her life out. Charlie, as she was known then, came out to her sister on her 25th birthday.

Of course Beth’s reaction had been “Well, it’s about time, you idiot.”

Ten years later and life still wasn’t quite working. She had a job, and the meds kept her from driving off a bridge, but something just still wasn’t right. That was when she realized what the next step was. After several long talks with her therapist, and then a visit to planned parenthood, Charlie started HRT and finally got his wish to die. Darlene was born, and hadn’t looked back since.

The surgery had been expensive. Insurance companies cover a lot of stuff but feminizing facial surgery isn’t among them. Not that she had needed much help there. Just a trach shave and getting her eyebrows raised. The laser vocal surgery had been risky but worth it. Each move to fix God’s mistakes had resulted in a confidence boost, which in turn had aided in her climbing the corporate ladder. The orchiectomy had been the final step last year. Darlene wasn’t sure she could go all the way with the vaginoplasty; that proud piece of flesh between her legs had been her sole constant companion for four decades, and although her outward appearance now mostly matched her inward reality, she was loathe to take that final step. She was so small now that she didn’t show even in a leotard, but she wasn’t sure about the gym’s policies on trans women and locker rooms.

So she showered at home after the gym, keeping her shenis to herself.

A hot shower after aerobics was one of the few luxuries she allowed herself these days. She hadn’t dated since beginning to transition, and the realization that rather than a gay man she was a straight woman living in a man’s body. It didn’t help that Pittsburgh’s queer scene was mostly populated by effeminate twinks and she found she was mostly attracted to broad shoulders, hairy chests, and gruff voices. So she’d focused on her career and becoming the best woman she could be. Relationships could wait.

As the hot water cascaded over her and this bittersweet trip down memory lane ran through her head, her thoughts drifted over the few men that she’d really been attracted to over the years and her hand, unbidden, caressed one of her B-cup breasts. Then she smelled it.

It wasn’t an unpleasant odor. Just… odd. Sweet, fruity, with a slightly cloying spice undertone. In an effort to determine its origin she took a deep inhale, willing her lungs with the gas. Disorientation and dizziness were soon followed by oblivion.

Well, at least she looks good.

Heidi checked another name off her list and moved along to the next acquisition.

AN: The author would like to note that although he has thoroughly researched the subject, all the research in the world doesn’t give one an insight into the mind of someone going through the traumatic changes and realizations described in this chapter. I did my best to convey the highs and lows of transitioning as respectfully as I could within the limits of my knowledge, and deeply apologize for any errors I’ve made or misconceptions I’ve proliferated. Thank you for your indulgence.

~W