Bill, a Nice Guy With a Pervy Streak

Your name is Bill Parker, and you are shocked that the notebook removed the barista’s shirt.

You know that you are basically a nice guy, but you acknowledge that you are also a bit of a perv, so you jot down some of your favorite dirty little fantasies as rules.

Rule 1: All women are 100% bisexual.

Rule 2: Instead of engagement and wedding rings, women get the hood of their clits pierced so that they can be proudly led around on a leash by their significant other.

Rule 3: People stop physically aging at age 24, and the average person’s life expectancy increases to between 190 and 200 with the Baby Boomer Generation.

Rule 4: Both partners must agree before a woman becomes pregnant.

Rule 5: Women do not get hot or cold very easily, and this has caused women to go nude or wear very little clothing in public.

Rule 6: Half of all men are happily gay, so relationships involving men and women often include one man and two women.

Rule 7: Men can consciously control their erections.

Rule 8: All sexes have high sex drives, but rape never happens.

You lift the pencil off the page and smile, wondering what your “rules” will do to the world around you.

You feel a shift around you.

At the table next to you, where the older Boomer couple had been sitting a moment ago, a pair of good-looking men are holding hands. One of them is wearing the same blue polo shirt and khaki shorts that the older man had been wearing a moment ago. The men are holding hands like a happily married couple.

You see a heterosexual couple walk into the coffee shop. He is an average-looking black man, but she is a gorgeous Latina wearing nothing but glasses and ballet flats. He is leading her by a leash connected to her pussy. She seems extremely comfortable with the situation.

You hear a voice saying, “Here’s your coffee, sweety.” You look up to see your fiancé,…