Behind-the-Scenes: Problems, hypotheses and revieuw

[We now know what option has been chosen by the audience. I checked the budget… Either we need to cut stuff, or we need to have them upgrade their transformations to deal with it.] Chip-of-the-Boulder-at-the-Foot-of-an-old-Hill said.

“Even with all of the savings we have as a result of [Ember-From-an-Accidental-Forge-That-Made-a-Masterpiece] being bound to the master?” The boss lady questioned.

[Indeed, the two transformations exacerbate the effect, especially with Ember-From-an-Accidental-Forge-That-Made-a-Masterpiece interference. They are enhancing individuality between them. This means that letting them kind of blend together, as normally would be used, however it might feel jarring. I already discussed this with Elaine after yesterday's meeting and did some estimates.] The striated boulder verbalised in the gravely sound.

“We have found a possible solution. A transformation that merges both a Tale of Two Jessies and a world lived differently.

A world with two Jessies: Jesse and Jessica become recognised by everyone as twins. Jesse having gone through a transition and effectively lived the original timeline, while Jessica lived the other one.” Elaine said.

“Wonderful, let's put it in the store and inform them about it. That way the Jessies can get it whilst it is still a two-for-one deal.” Syl said gladly.

“Well, I like the proactive nature of you lot, but I do want to put some restrictions on your plan.” A dog made of leaves said. “Shall I list them, or do you want to issue your complaints first?” Not getting any responses, the dog continued. “First, no telling them this exists. Only an audience member can tell them. Second, it should cost as much as a normal transformation. Third, you can put it up for a vote, but only the audience should be able to read the text. Fourth, if an upgrade is used blindly, either it has to be random, or you have to have permission from the audience. Lastly, Ember could tell the harem after they join.”

“Aren't those restrictions a bit too much, Mr Producer?” Syl asked.

“Nope, they are not. They ensure audience participation, engagement and drama. Your harem is perceptive enough to be able to figure it out. Now, gnome fella editing this, put in a poll and include an option for other,” the producer demanded.

Poll options

• Auto-pick the new predetermined upgrade.
• No chance of predetermined
• Equal chance of predetermined and not.
• Most likely not, but a small chance the predetermined one is picked.
• Most likely the predetermined one is picked.
• Other…

“Perfect.” The hound said with a smile. As he was about to leave, First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide entered. “Puddle.” He said with a bow and left the leaves flowing out on an unseen wind.

Syl looked at the exchange and decided not to ask why the water elemental was called ‘Puddle’ of all things. “So, anything to report from you?”

[Before I start my report, I want to thank the writing team for the opportunity to see these types of interactions. Had I been consulted about the fact that Chris might have an elemental bound to him, I would have told you unexpected results might happen without careful planning.] The water elemental said in the most polite kind of tone.

“I get it. Start your damn report, Puddle.” Elaine said.

First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide ignored the comment and didn't react, but still continued her disrupted report. [Based on my observations and hands-on check with Chris, I can say a few things. Chris doesn’t have any additional effects from his current transformation. Ember and Chris’s bond is strong and doesn’t seem to be causing strain on him. The little fireball seems to be getting her fill more than she expects, based on what I observed. Chris has a lot of passionate emotions swirling inside of him, so in that sense they couldn’t have asked for a better master.] The reacher took a moment to calm herself. [The harem I have a less specific grasp on. I hypothesise that there is some merging going on of similar transformations. Taking Missy as an example, vocal ones seem merged; passion ones have merged. Neither is fully removed, but uniquely fused with the other. We can also see this in the Jessies, where they are pulling away from one another and claiming timelines. We see no such thing for Ryan and Heather’s transformations; then again, they have a more generic secondary transformation, which could also be qualified as an axis of similarity in the others. Becky’s are… harder to diagnose without actually investigating her body. Not that it would help; both transformations affect her body's response to fat and nutrients. So effectively they are the same as the others.]

Syl decided to break in. “So we have effectively no idea how Ember is affecting them except for merging similar?” First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide nodded in agreement. “So how do you suggest we proceed?”

[One of three ways. The first is to try to counteract the effects Ember is having in some way. I suspect some of those options will not be appreciated by the producer who just left. Others he would be cheering on. Second, remove Ember from the equation, force her to join the harem and only offer transformations that remove all her elemental shenanigans. Something Ember, the producer, and likely the audience will dislike. Third, do nothing; let things escalate as they will. The writers might not like it, but it puts the least burden on the fireball. I will assume my colleagues' protests will be so loud, however, that you will need to bend. So only the first remains… You need to get Chris to add other elementals to his employ or harem. This doesn’t need to be straight-up elementals persé but could be mermaids and other creatures with strong connections to a specific element.] The water elemental looked at her boss with an understanding of how hard the choice before the hostess was.

“I will consider it. I will… I need time…” Syl said. “Okay, can you move on to their weightlifting accomplishments? I am sure I can make my decision somewhere before challenge day.”

[Sure, let’s start with Chris; he has given you the answer already. He just has way too much testosterone than is healthy, together with some hormone levels that make him have ridiculously dense muscles. The master could have been a top muscle builder or Olympic weightlifter if he tried. I suspect he would get disqualified for assumed misuse of testosterone if he did. As a result, he is infertile.] The researcher spoke as if giving a report on a cow or a cat more than a human.

Her boss interrupted, “Wait, he is infertile?” First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide repeated herself. “Get someone to make him a fertility transformation. Continue, please.”

[Becky… I wish I could have taken a closer look, but I suspect it is a combination of her weight, normal strength, and maybe that one of her transformations is already helping her. I can't be sure. Jessie, before any of her transformations, already had some leftover transformations in her body, which show up in their tomboyish appearance as well as the additional strength. I wrote that in the document on her. The one you didn’t let me finish before you started filming. I handed it in last night. It is on your desk as we speak. But now I will just give it to you orally. Jessica, Jessie, Wilson, born assigned female at birth, was hypothesised to be a trans man in the reality we were planning on removing her from. Based on most other timelines where they have the time to explore gender expression, we find they fall more on the non-binary or gender-fluid side. Most of these realities, they end up with the master in some form of polycule, with them being the initiator. As we see happening here in the show as well.] The old elemental spoke calmly.

“Get to the point.” The goblin woman in the balgown interjected.

[On top of having a high likelihood of being a glue for the harem and meshing well with the others, there are a few things of note. She seems to have inherited some level of transformations from former participants. The main one suppresses breast growth beyond A-cup; had their body responded normally, she would have easily been B or C-cup. This is inherited strongly, so this can’t be changed. There is a secondary one which makes her stronger, whilst we can still alter this one. However, should we want a larger volume of breasts, we could, for example, introduce a giant or otherwise overall size-increasing one; for example, making her a 2.20m tall woman with similar proportions would still mean she is an A-cup, just a larger one.]

Elaine chuckled. “We could see if we can bait Shar into sending her a breast enlargement transformation, only for it to blunder. That would be funny. I get what you are saying; the last bit seems the remnant of an Amazon-type transformation. I don’t see that working for either of them… Wait for a man that is Herculean, right? I suspect Chris isn’t all that into that.”

Syl smiled and replied, “You don’t need to worry about that. The audience voted to have them become fully separate, right? So you could just offer it to Jessica, not to Jesse.”

“Wait, you are correct; that is going to be an adjustment, having to think of them as no longer able to get package deals for stuff.” The head writer responded.

“Again, there are ways around that. There are transformations geared towards twins, right? We could use a similar structure. Arguably better since they once were the same character. The reality adjustment transformation literally makes them twins. Just wait until after they get it. Before putting them up for purchase and increasing the price by 1.5 after this week,” The hostess said with a shrug. “Anything else you three want to discuss?”

“Can someone explain how it will interact with Jessica’s transformation that will make her into her own perfect woman?” Elaine said.

[Based on earlier data and simulations of the transformations, no issues. We couldn’t do it in one go if she didn’t want a body close enough to her current one.] First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide said almost as if it was an immutable fact of life.

“I trust that then. Anyone, anything else?” The boss lady asked, and everybody shook their heads one way or the other.

Samson entered his apartment, picked up the remote and started scanning through the last day of the season of Woo the Girl, Save the World. Elaine sat down next to him in a loose-fitting nighty. “So, to catch you up, Tegan is all itchy because she is wearing too much clothing. This goes away if she wears enough to be able to cast spells. Like usual, she blames everything on Shar. Are you deliberately trying to play lightning rod?” Elaine fills her husband in.

The green-haired goblin smiles. “Kind of. Does she read the note immediately?” He asks out loud as Tegan grabs the note. “Nope. Okay, could be worse.” Basic start-of-day fares happen. “What does Mona have planned for the horrible monster?”

“You will see later, sweetheart.” His wife whispers in his ear.

“Spicy, I suppose. Hot. Cool, but that is the end of the day first; the rest.” Elaine’s husband says to her.

As they continue watching, they see Kevin and Tegan remain back alone. Samson considered the situation for a moment. It would qualify if she actually opens up to him or lets him be vulnerable and doesn’t ridicule him and doesn’t curse Shar for the entirety; it should pass. He made the executive decision to first focus on Tegan so he could inform Tyalangan of his judgment before the next day. The duo watched Van’s season, but Samson wasn’t focused on that; he saw Caiomhe and Kevin open up. Tegan opened up by herself without the note; maybe it wasn’t necessary. Okay, her blaming him again… Not good, but it still counts. “If she manages not to blame Shar for the rest of this, she has it.” The goblin said, right before, in her mind, she blamed Shar again. “Okay, better luck next date, I suppose.”

“Her date with Winter isn’t much better, sweetie,” Elaine said, depressed. “But you counting this is you being toooo damn soft again. She has put in no effort into it. She is still attacking the sexy bull who isn’t interested in Mona for everything. You need to not be so soft.”

“How else would I land such a wonderful princess as you?” Samson said, kissing up the arm, shoulders, neck and face of his wife, ending by planting a kiss on her lips. They continued watching the train wreck that was this unofficial date. “Magically compelled honesty that only works if she is ready to hear it… I might have used some liquor like that, but ohh that was for a low-stakes game. Not long-term issues, abort abort. That is like asking Heather Do you think you can do anything yourself under that compulsion. ABORT.”

Of course this was all prerecorded, so they continued nonetheless. Kevin interrogates Tegan about her jealousy as well as what she feels for Mona. Good questions, questions that need to be answered, questions she isn’t ready for. Tyalangan or someone magics in a teen girl magazine, and it answers that she is attracted to Mona but not necessarily in love with her. She then is faced with the revelation, by way of an attractiveness rating of the harem, that she doesn’t like that she might be into women. Such a shocker: a woman in a woman’s harem might be gay. A woman who proposed to a woman might be a lesbian the biggest news since ‘platonic’ Roommates were a thing. The spell ends before she has to admit this. The scratchiness gets too much, and she tears her shirt completely open.

“What is that pop-up, sweetheart?” Samson asks his wife.

“Ohh yeah, you missed yesterday for them… If Tegan destroys clothes, this becomes permanent. I didn’t tell you cause I assumed you knew… You bought the thing.” Elaine looked at her husband with a bit of worry.

“Yeah, and I do think permanent consequences for dumb behaviour should be taken into account… If she fucks up, that is her own fault.” He said before continuing. “Okay, we fucked up… Still her own choice.”

“You need to get Kevin or Caiomhe something when you have enough BP for it again.” The goblin in a nightie demanded of Samson, as one demands to go buy a gift for a cousin.

“Yeah, let's continue,” Samson said.

Kevin did push them forward in the conversation. He had more grace than the duo of goblins could ever have with a stubborn contestant. Tegan believes she is still under the magic's influence. Good, she is at least honest then. She is super possessive; I am glad we don’t have any of those. Kevin has had enough of playing therapist.

“The cowboy put up with it longer than I ever would have,” Samson said.

“Shh, she is going to check the note finally.” Elaine stopped him from continuing to comment.

“Tegan, it is simple: you don’t need to say my last name; I hardly use it outside of official communication. That promise is backed by our host, by the way, just like the one Heather has. Also, that isn’t blaming her; that is you being jealous of her, which is different. So if you complete it, I have to comply with the promise. So this is the entire reason my wife warned me… This will be interesting… Wait, Alex commented on this?

‘Yeay #oldlove goes on an actual date or at least plans one.

Tegan.... Tegan.... Tegan.... read notes as you get them. Also, I wonder how much danger Samson is in.’

At least my boss is looking out for me while shipping girls.” Samson said the last bit with a cocky smile.

“You really need to watch out; our mailroom isn’t that great and you know it,” Elaine said.

“Doesn’t your uncle Walter lead that department?” The one with the pants on asked.

“Exactly, the lazy bum. Do you think he will actually have them check? Especially if it is for crew?” The mostly scantily clad goblin replied.

With regret in his voice, Elaine’s husband admitted. “Honey, you are correct as always. Do we still have the stuff from when Aimé was mad?” Elaine left, but Samson continued to watch the rest of the day. “Strong-arming your date is not a good start, girl, not a good start. But let's continue this. Going out with Winter isn’t wrong, but I had hoped she would ask anybody else, just like Kevin hoped. Ooooh, might she have an exhibitionist bend… That might actually make me more likely not to give her more hints.” He continued to talk as if his wife was there. The possessiveness of Tegan flares up again. Tessa steps in. “I see why Alex loves the oldies.” Tegan thinks she is done with it because she is going out on a ‘date’ with Winter. “If you behave nicely, Tegan. You didn't consider the other thing a date, then I don’t need to as well. Also, my wife has writers' privilege. She has a vote on it.”

Elaine returns with a giant box. “This should be it. I hope it allows you to survive whatever the nimrod has planned for you.”

“I know you are using it unironically, but you know the ironic meaning has overtaken it, right?” Samson asks his wife, who nods. As the targets are bought, Samson is shocked. “Wait, is my nose that big?”

“Yes, it is cute- it is one of your defining features- compared to my tiny one,” Elaine said with a smile. “Should I see if I can get a two-pack for some fun?”

“No.” The green-haired goblin said grumpily. He continued to watch the bits, and all he could see was disrespect. No respect for Winter or their beliefs, and for the gods. “She is lucky that the god Winter worships isn’t vengeful. Also, this date will likely never count if she is behaving like this. They are saying I don’t like this. Realise that a date is about compromise and pick something to do that you both enjoy. Yeah, magic is real, as are the gods, and so is the premise of your season. DEAL WITH IT, TEGAN.” Frustration boiled in the green-skinned dumbass of a prankster. “At least this practice farce of a date will help her with her own later. Winter, if you ever see this, I owe you some excuses, man. I never thought she would pick you. Sorry for making you and Kevin do the heavy lifting. Depending on how much I have and if I can pry some from Alex, I will see if I can get you guys something fun.”