Be a Wise Ass

“In fact, yes they could. You see, they de-manged us earlier today. You should have seen us this morning, it was all the mange,” I said, just to annoy the speaker hidden just out of sight.

A medium height, fat woman wearing ridiculous blue makeup and an equally ostentatious blue dress, strode out and I instantly labeled her as “peacock lady” in my mind.

“So, they’ve sent me another uppity bitch. Ha! I love watching your kind go up for auction, because I know that you’re going to be as broken as President Rodriguez’ dick within a few hours or days, two weeks at most.”

I was about to rebuff her accusation, but she pointed at Garotinha and said, “Chica rata, ven conmigo.” Garotinha followed her with her metaphorical tail between her legs, leaving me to examine the room away from them.

Within, I found rack after rack of clothes and I noticed a messy hodgepodge of heels lining the far wall. Figuring that I was going to be playing dress up with the peacock lady, I chose to look on the shelves for something that I could wear before she picked for me.

What I settled on was a knee-length sheath dress with a Queen Anne neckline that fit my form pretty well. I wasn’t quite sold on the shiny silver fabric, but it was far better than the peacock blue, so I accepted it and moved on to finding some heels that wouldn’t cause me to turn a heel when I walked or cry in agony at the end of the night.

When I went to find Garotinha, I was confused by the bizarre sight in front of me. The peacock woman had given her a scarlet mini-skirt with a weird black leather belt with pointless whirls and illogical strips extending up and down. Above that, she was wearing a white tube top beneath a strapless black leather bustier that barely covered any of her ribs. She had puffed, detached sleeves on her arms that looked like they were about to fall off, thigh high socks, and old fashioned boots with a shaft that flared wide above the ankle. Over her shoulders, she had what seemed to be backpack straps, but with no pack behind. To top it all off, she had red stripes painted on her cheeks and, because someone confused her with Little Bo Peep, a shepherd’s crook.

Needless to say, I laughed.