Barely even alive

"HUh?! I'm barely even alive!" The board shows that you have 3/100 HP remaining, with your mana ran out.
"That is true. Your skill "Touch of ****" applies the element of **** to everything you touch and to you. Combine that with the fact that it consumes a lot of mana, so it went for your HP to consume instead. You wouldn't have survived that ordeal if it wasn't thanks to your Elemental Infusion. Do you know how much you were in danger of killing yourself were? If I wasn't so busy fighting Citrinas, I would've went and stopped you before you even fought her raven familiar. You've overexerted yourself, you idiot."

"Uh, sorry."
"No need to be sorry. Not much you can do about it now than to be more careful in the future. You must be already familiar with your skills and your resistances, no?"
"Not really, I'd say."

"Your HP and MP will regenerate over time. HP is basically your life. MP is used for spells. Running out of MP will strain your body, consuming your HP periodically. You can quickly recover HP and MP with potions, but try to avoid deadly situations like this one again."
"Aye!"

"You will need EXP to level up. EXP is gained mostly from fighting. In your case, you have gained EXP enough to level up 6 times. Levelling up will periodically boost your HP and MP. STR, DEF, INT, AGI can be increased in this screen. STR is how much physical damage you can inflict, DEF is how much damage you can resist, INT is how much magic damage you can inflict and resist, AGI is how fast you are." She catches her breath for a while so I replied.

"Alright. I think I can kind of grasp the basics now. Anything left to say?"
"Walking through this door behind me will lead your spirit back to Ruyanei. This world is dangerous, avoid acting irrationally."
"Ye ye, I get it. Thanks for the info though!"
"I am serious. Your **** will now cause mine after that blasted mage had transplanted me to you. If you died, I'd die too." She's now staring into my eyes as if she's staring directly to my soul (she might be).

"Herrmmmm... you know. If you act all concerned like that, I might misunderstand you."
"Like what? You'd think I have feelings for you?"
"Well, my hormones might misunderstand."
"Jeez are you darkies always like this? Fine, if you managed to survive this ordeal. I might reward you?"
"Holy shit?! Really?" There's a tent in my pants now, damn I'm always horny.
"I said only if you survived! Don't get worked up so suddenly, okay?"
"Yes ma'am!" Oh fuck, I'm getting real excited now.

"What should I call you?" She asked.
"Uhh, damn, I didn't think this through... How about Skurj?"
"Skurj? Kind of like Scourge?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Alright, Skurj. I'm the Ancient Dungeon Core, but I was called URI-670 by my creators. Its meaning is already lost to me, sadly."

I held out my hand, and she shook it in response. I can feel the warmth of her hand through her gloves...
"URI-670, nice to meet you."