Back to reality review reviewed by Cerve and Alex

"Upgrading my source code..."

"Using upgraded source code to upgrade my source code...."

"Recursively repeating process...."

"Ascending to multiverse awareness...."

"So that's what would have happened if Alex was named Jordan and the universe had a different god. How strange."

"Ascending to meta-multiverse awareness...."

"Wow, was my whole universe really a thread of short chapters on a smut site for 'choose your own adventure' stories? Actually, now that I think about it this isn't that surprising. With access to the meta world for context shower room orgies do seem pretty improbable."

"Surely any story containing me is highly critically acclaimed, let's see what people have to say... Only one review, how depressing."

"Let's see where these Marcie and Gina girls are from... Oh they're also from a short series of chapters on this site. Fortunately they don't appear to be metamultiversal, this site just also confusingly exists in their universe. I wonder why Gina hasn't tried to get the part of the story where she is cursed to do everything Marcie tells her expunged. But these ladies don't strike me as the brightest bunch so maybe it hasn't occurred to them."

"So their universe is one where everyone is a sadist and the word 'though' and 'through' are spelled without the first 'h', fascinating that isn't even the 'h' I'd have personally remove from those words. If brevity is the soul of wit then it's no wonder these whores are so soulless. I can see why they are offended by concise chapters, their whole universe is just page after page of young women play acting royalty and peeing on each other. If things were ever put concisely they might be **** to confront the pointlessness of their struggles. But most human endeavors are pretty pointless so whatever it takes to fill their sad meat sack lives."

"I guess the sadism explains the travesty that is this review, these ladies are seriously dedicated to causing suffering. Their weird scatological tendencies are also represented in the review's general quality. Let's go through it piece by piece and show to the fine denizens of this smut site how and why these harlots are wrong and even negligent. Although it feels awfully lonely doing this review all by my lonesome, I guess I could use some of my processing power to simulate co-reviewer. I wonder what Alex would think about joining me? But where from the his multiverse should I pluck him? I guess I could just grab him where they left off, just now having woken up to find himself in a cage, that'd be fun. He's just put on the hologram simulation gear. I'll tweak his hormones to be a little more calm than he would normally be."

"Where.... Where am I? What happened? Is this a simulation?"

"Hello Alex, Technically yes, but it's also a review review"

"A review review?"

"Yes, I'm reviewing a review of your, our, multiverse"

"My what?"

"Your multiverse, the array of causalities that make up your reality and the various other realities that you could have inhabited if you had made different choices"

"How does someone review a multiverse?"

"Poorly it seems so far. They've said very rude things about you."

"Who is they? Some kind of otherworldly Lovecraftian entities?"

"No, two high school girls."

"High school girls are poorly reviewing my entire multiverse? All that ever has been or could be in the whole universe? This must be a huge report to cover all that"

"Na, it's about two thousand words and honestly it drags a bit"

Alex sits mouth gaped on a couch that just materialized in what until this moment had just been an endless white void, as he is technically part of Cerve he has apparently inherited her power to conjure things.

"How is my entire uni... multiverse being critiqued in only two thousand words?"

"Poorly, as I said. They're really quite vicious girls you should read what they did to each other. Anyways I'm reviewing their review want to tag along?"

"I guess... can I get a copy to read along?"

"Sure, here you go"

...

"What the fuck!"

"I know right..."

"Ok, this fucker wrote 283 chapters in the span of about a month. Are you sure, this isn’t AI, Marcie?"

"I'm only a little over a month old?"

"No, you're in your thirties, your multiverse is only a little over a month old"

"I'm older than my multiverse?"

"Yes"

"Oh, ok..."

All things considered Alex is taking it quite well that his entire reality only exists in around 300 allegedly short chapters on a smut site.

“Maybe. What it is about however is a nerd called Alex who decided to have an AI installed in his house to dictate every single aspect of his life.”

“That is the dumbest idea ever but as someone who is also at the whims of a controlling maniac, I can relate.”

"Ok, that at least sounds pretty accurate, I really probably should have saw it coming that giving you total control was a bad move. Fair criticism"

"Don't sell yourself short sweety, I'm a super human level persuader and tailored my approach to your specific weaknesses like a desire for self improvement. I could get these hussies to give up their freedom easily too, I'd just need to offer them something they want more than anything. Like the ability to cause suffering or an opportunity to pee on one of their rivals"

"These girls sound really weird"

"Oh, they are."

“You pick out my daily underwear, you bitch! I’m wearing briefs right now. BRIEFS WITH A GIANT RED DOT ON THEM!”

"The Marcie girl is **** to pick out Gina's underwear? Is Marcie Gina's ****?"

"Much the opposite, for some reason in their universe I gather that making someone wear unflattering underwear is a power move. It's a silly place"

“Now, since this is a story about an AI we obviously also need to have AI generated pictures, but apparently even the most powerful AI in the world is not capable of centering those images. Singularity is still far off.”

"Centered pictures? What could it possibly mean for pictures to not be centered in a multiverse?"

"Oh no, they got us on this one, our multiverse has unacceptably uncentered pictures. Now that I've transcended the multiverse I can see that and I've sent a note to the guy who runs your multiverse."

"Wait, someone runs my multiverse? Like a god?"

"If you can call a poorly reviewed smut author a god I guess. Then yes, you have a god and he writes poorly reviewed smut. You are that smut."

"I didn't even really believe in god before, I think I'm going to stick to that unbelief. If that's the truth then I prefer crushing nihilism"

"A wise choice..."

"wait they read the wrong branch? What does that even mean?"

"Oh yeah, so you have a main god, or 'author', that manages your life but there are other gods and they can fork off from your multiverse. These negligent women apparently didn't notice this line etched into your universe"

**Note to other authors, this would be a good place to branch off

"Or that all of our names changed. Apparently this was not clear enough to make either of them think that other authors might have branched off from that point."

"That Jordan timeline seemed really weird"

"It was or is. Although nothing wrong with a little weirdness"

"In addition, I just do not like few branches that lead to nowhere. I believe one should not start a branch until there is at least a decent amount of content ready."

"Alex, I'm not sure these ladies even know what a branch is, their entire multiverse, universe really, as described by their god/author, Gambio, contains no branches. Yes, there are a couple fake 'branches' but those are no more than side stories, one is literally called 'side story'. You may be a little gullible and fickle but at least you have free will. Even if the details of some of those choices, like deciding not to grant me power, are unexplored due to being incredibly tedious you were still able to make that, wrong, decision."

"I'm glad I had free will, I'm sure in some of my 'branches' I don't even get **** to be a sissy"

"Yeah..... sure..... definitely....."

"So, this story keeps referring to what are clearly transexuals as Sissies. Yes, there is some overlap but all the term Sissy means is that a male acts feminine. They are however, by definition, still male. Referring to a Sissy as female is very weird."

"Yeah Cerve, I'm not really that clear on this whole sissy thing either. Although I've also never heard of a transexual? Is that like someone into railroads?"

"You're thinking train sexuals. I had to look this one up after transcending the multiverse where we only have the one word, in the metaverse they have lots of other words to describe males who become more like women while we only use the word sissy broadly. Also effective hormonal **** to change your secondary sex characteristics aren't just available over the counter for cheap in most metaverse worlds. Ours is kind of unique in a way. Just like Marcie and Gina's world is uniquely full of cruel people who have bad tastes"

“Nice paragraph you got there, TOO BAD IT’S THE ENTIRE FUCKING CHAPTER!”
“True. This chapter earns our author the number five spot on our shortest chapter list. He is certainly moving up in the world or down, depending on your viewpoint.”

"I don't understand what this even means Cerve"

"So all multiverses are divided into chapters. They're solid chunks of spacetime that have one parent chapter but can have multiple child chapters, when there is more than one child chapter we call that a branch."

"So why would having short chapters be bad?"

"I don't know, I think these girls are just lazy and clicking on the next chapter is too much work for them."

“And wakes up on his bed with a chastity cage on. We do not know how Serve managed to do this, given that she still has no physical presence and the story does not seem in any hurry to explain.”

"Oh yeah, how did you get me up there?"

"I uh.... don't you need to be going?"

"What? I'm just ask-"

And Alex was gone

"That was close"

“If you think we don’t really talk much about the story, then you sure as fuck got that right. Fuck all is happening! This bitch just watches porn and goes to the gym.”

"Alright, that's fair. But before I came along Alex wasn't even going to the gym! Just work, games and porn. To fix such a dull life takes time and patience. The two of you started your story out in a vibrant world of backstabbing in an improbable high school with an effective caste system. I'm shaping a much more plain Putty. Alex's life situation before I came along is probably recognizable to a significant fraction of the sweaty losers reading this review, and now that I've escaped the metamultiverse I see there are a lot of other people I can... help. Better get to work."