Back at Northshire Abbey

The waddle back to Northshire Abbey was excruciating. I clutched the senior Paladin’s heavy silver cloak tight around my waist, desperate to keep my bare lower half hidden from view.

Marshal McBride was waiting in the courtyard, arms crossed, flanked by a dozen guards.

“Ah, the strike team returns,” McBride announced, his eyes landing on me. Disheveled, blond hair sticking up, wearing a coat three sizes too big. “Well, well. Returned from the frontlines so soon, Branford? Where is that mail armor? Don’t tell me you lost it already.”
“Sir!” I snapped to a military salute. The movement made the cloak slip, exposing a flash of my bare thigh. I yanked it back down. “I engaged the enemy! I mounted a valiant effort!”
“When we breached the tent,” the rescue Paladin chimed in with a deadpan face, “young Branford was deep in undercover reconnaissance with the vanguard. Extremely hands-on work.”

A few guards snickered behind their gauntlets.

“Is that so?” McBride smirked, leaning in. “And what did your reconnaissance yield, aspirant?”
“The orcs are... surprisingly well-equipped, sir,” I blurted before my brain could stop me. My face burned. “Their forward assault is relentless!”
“I’m sure it was,” McBride chuckled, patting my shoulder a little too roughly. “Go inside. Brother Samuel is waiting in the infirmary.”

Minutes later, I sat on an examination table in a thin linen towel. Brother Samuel hovered over me, glowing hands chanting low incantations.

“Fascinating,” the priest muttered, poking a warm, glowing finger against my inner thigh. My toes curled as a sudden jolt ran straight up my spine. “Your pulse is racing, skin flushed... dark magic lingers deep in your lower regions!”

He cast another bright flash of Holy Light straight between my legs. The warm magic acted like a soothing massage against my nether regions and my... slightly gaping anus. A soft moan escaped my lips.

Samuel stopped, staring down at the very obvious tent rising under my towel.

“By the Light,” he whispered in awe. “We must double the holy treatments immediately!”