Baby Crazy

“Yuck. This is awful, Lizzz,” Phoebe says. Phoebe pushes away her plate of Paige’s attempt at pancakes. You couldn’t blame Phoebe. The mishappen pancakes were somehow burnt and soggy at the same time.

“Why you little…” Paige mutters.

“You should stick to being a cat burglar. No offense,” Phoebe says smugly.

You hold Paige back by her shoulder as Paige looked like she was about to leap forward and strangle the kid.

“Mr. Rick. Can you make me pancakes that don’t suck? Pweasssseee,” Phoebe asks. Phoebe turns to you and turns on her puppy dog eyes. She was a cute kid. A bit spoiled but cute.

“I’ll see what I can do, Princess.” You say the last part sarcastically.

“No. We made her pancakes. She’s just a picky eater.” Paige crosses her arms and shoots venomous looks at Phoebe, who sticks out her tongue at the redhead.

“This taste like dirt. I want real pancakes. BLAAAHHH,” Phoebe sticks out her tongue again at Paige.

“I’m going..” You drag Paige away before she could finish her sentence. There was no point in letting them continue this. You just wanted to make the pancakes, put Phoebe to bed, and spend more time alone with Paige before everything crashed down on you. Is this how parents felt when they wanted their kids to sleep just so they can do the hanky panky with their spouse?

You still had some leftover batter. Why Paige insisted she do the cooking, you had no clue. Was she trying to impress you? Well, she was more equipped to taking a selfie than cooking that's for sure. Still, it was fun being alone with Paige, albeit with a cute but annoying kid watching your every move.

There were no eggs in the pantry, so you used coconut milk instead. Paige stands back watching intently and then sneaks up behind you. She wraps her arms around your waist and puts her head on your shoulder, making your cooking a lot more complicated but also a lot more enjoyable. You pour some batter into the pan with a ladle, making thin sheets. You always preferred crepes over pancakes anyway. When they were finished in the pan, you remove them and put them on a plate.

Paige peers over your shoulder towards the plate as you smear a bit of Nutella on the crepes, making a thin line of chocolate in the center.

“More. She’ll want more,” Paige says.

“Any more and she’ll get a sugar high. You don’t want her to stay up all night, do you?”

Paige hmms. While you sprinkle a tiny whisper of salt on the crepes she asks, “Uhh salt?”

“Salt brings out the flavor a bit more,” You say. There were some bananas on the counter with black spots on them. You pick one, sniff it, peel it and chew on the end piece. It seemed alright, a bit overly ripe, so you cut it in tiny slices, placing them in the center in a line like roofing tiles. You tuck the crepe on itself like a jacket.

“Wow, that looks really good. You’re like a Gordon Ramsay or something, huh?” Paige wasn’t mocking you, she sounded genuinely sincere. It seemed her cooking standards weren’t that high.

You bring out the dish to the waiting munchkin, who smiles from ear to ear as you present her dish.

“I don’t know how I feel about giving a little kid pancakes for a late night snack,” You whisper to Paige.

“I’ll give her a knuckle sandwich if she complains again,” Paige whispers back.

Phoebe proceeds to stuff her little face with the pancakes, her mouth looking like a chipmunk. Curious, you ask, “So… you said your mom looked like Pa- I mean Liz. Was that true?”

Phoebe nods. With her mouth half full, she speaks, “Yah. Though my mom is way waaaaay prettier.”

Paige grits her teeth, and her eyebrows twitch. “Phoebe. You know I’m a model, right? I’m on Instagram and have tons of followers.”

You rub your forehead in second-hand embarrassment at Paige's "bragging".

“Instagram? Nobody uses that site anymore. Gosh, you are old.” Phoebe smirks and adds, “Plus, it doesn’t matter if you’re a model. My mommy is on TV.”

“She must be a real piece of work if she raised a spoiled runt like you,” Paige mutters under her breath.

The little rascal takes the glass of water next to her plate of pancakes and drinks it one gulp.

“That was guuu-reeaat,” Phoebe says, wiping her mouth with the back of her arm. “Can you tell me a bedtime story now? Me and Mr. Wiggles are tired.”

Phoebe holds out her bunny and shakes it.

“Finally. I’ll go find a book,” Paige mutters. You could hear her groan “this girl” and “ugh” as she wanders the house looking for a book to read.

00:52 – Paige’s love and affection has increased by 5 – She feels familial warmth hanging together with you and Phoebe

You sigh and put away the dishes. Phoebe stomps upstairs to her bedroom singing some song you never heard of, and after washing the dishes, you follow after.

In Phoebe’s bed were a collection of stuffed animals. She had a proverbial stuffed zoo. Her lamp was on, and she was lying on the flower-patterned bed with her rabbit teddy clutched in her arms. You try to look around for some photos of her parents. The inch of dust that was covering the shelves earlier had disappeared. This place must have been dusted recently.

“Phoebe?” You ask. You brought a stool next to her bed and sat on it.

“Yes, Rick?”

“Next time… call the police. You really shouldn’t let strangers in your house.”

“I know. But I knew you guys weren’t really robber,” Phoebe slurred her Rs to make them sound like a Ws. “Just dumb teenagers from the beach who wanted to be alone to smooch.”

Dumb? Teenagers? Phoebe mocks you and puckers her lips in exaggeration, looking like a tiny duckling.

“What were you doing up so late anyway?”

“I read on my phone that there would be a meteor shower today, and I wanted to make a wish, and I did! Mr. Wiggles made a wish too.” Phoebe says.

“Oh… what did you wish for?”

“I wished my dad would come home and tell me a bedtime story,” Phoebe says.

“Your dad must mean a lot for you to waste a wish on something like that,” You observe.

“He’s always at woooork,” When Phoebe says work, she said it in a way like she was trying to impersonate a grizzly bear. “We finally get a vacation, and he’s always leaving. He never has any time for me anymore.”

“He sounds like a bad father,” You frown. That was presumptuous. Maybe Phoebe was just needy.

“Humph,” Phoebe crosses her arms and pouts in agreement.

“You don’t sound like you are from here… Are your parents from Barcelona?” You ask.

“No, silly billy. We just come here for the summer some times. My parents say it reminds them of their past or something.” Phoebe says and adds a yawn.

“This isn’t your home?”

“Nah uh. We live in Virginia. Daddy works there. This is *yawn* just our summer house,” Phoebe answers between yawns.

“What year is it?” You ask, your voice seems far away somewhere else.

“Hah?” Phoebe was befuddled by your question.

“Alright, I’m back,” Paige says with a book in her hand. It was Where the Wild Things Are. Paige sits on your lap on the chair in front of the bed, where Phoebe lay and opens the book.

“Noo…” Phoebe groans.

“What now?” Paige returns her groan in frustration.

“Chesa always read me that book. And I read that book a zillion gajillion times. Daddy always tells me a new story. Pweasse. Can you tell me a new story. Pretty pweaasse.”

“You know what, kid. You are one spoiled little brat. Here’s a lesson. You can’t always get what you want.” Paige crosses her arms and looks away. You couldn’t help but feel she was mirroring the child she resented.

“And mom…” Phoebe pouts, she was on the verge of tears, blubbering her words. “Mommy always holds me...”

Paige’s scornful face all at once turns into one of pure compassion as Phoebe starts sniffling and letting out sobs.

At that, Phoebe let out a deep cry. All at once, her usual mischievous face breaks out in waterworks, red and swollen. “I miss my mommy and daddy. When are they going to come back. WAAAAHHHH.”

Paige seeing the young girl cry, awwwed and got up, holding her heart and cooing, “Aww, sweetie. Your parents are going to back any second now. Don’t worry.”

Paige rushes over to the little girl’s bed and wraps her in her arms. Phoebe sniffles while Paige holds and whispers the girl to relax, rocking her gently. Paige kisses the girl’s head and rocks her gently.

You roll your eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well, Rick. Aren’t you going to tell her a story?” Paige asks.

“Uhh… I don’t really know children’s stories...”

Paige glares daggers at you like an angry momma bear about to move in.

Geez, just a few minutes ago, you wanted to ditch the brat.

“Okay… okay... Let me see…” You pause and try to think of a story, “Once upon a time, there was a monkey boy named Goku… now Goku crash landed from another planet on Earth and was found by a kindly old man called Gohan….”

You start telling the story, and you could faintly see Phoebe let out a devious smile in Paige’s embraces. Old Phoebe then closes her eyes, still smiling, and listens attentively. At the same time, you recite the age-old tale while Paige, her mortal enemy now turned guardian angel, was rocking the girl gently in her arms and caressing her hair.

A while later.

“so then…” You felt drowsy as you spoke, tilting your head forward every so often. “so then… Oolong wished for comfortable underwear… and umm…”

You nearly fell over in your stool but pull your tired head back up. Shaking yourself to alertness, you look up to see two girls in the bed, already deep asleep. Phoebe was snoring quietly, tucked in Paige’s arms. Paige had her head over the top of Phoebe’s, cradling the girl in her arms. Paige’s eyes, too, were closed in serene slumber. The two look like a pair of sisters or something like that.

Trying not to wake the two, you get up and tiptoe downstairs to sleep on the couch. The same couch where you thought you were going to finally get some with Paige until the little princess interrupted.

A couple of notifications appeared in your vision as you lay down on the soft couch and rest your eyes, eventually drifting off to sleep.

Paige has lost the following trait:

• Hates Kids

Paige has gained the following trait

• Likes Kids

Paige has gained the following status effect:

Baby Crazy – People with this trait will become obsessed with having a child with the one they love. This effect will not go away until the person with the status effect becomes pregnant