Attend your own wedding as a bridesmaid

It was time to head to the church. Bouquet in hand you followed Karen out the back door and around to the front of the church. A few guests still out the front hurriedly went inside to their seats when the saw the bridal party approaching.

You waited outside the door until Jackie and Graham caught up with you. You felt sick. You wanted to pull out. This was not how your own wedding was meant to happen. You could feel tears developing in your eyes. Karen must have noticed. She told you "Don't cry Carmen. I know it's emotional but you don't want to ruin your make-up" From who knows where she somehow produced a tissue and dabbed your eyes. Jackie must have noticed as well. She took a moment to approach you and whispered in your ear "You are doing so well. Just remember. When I say I do. It will be you I am marrying not Carmen. We will get this sorted out"

Before you could respond the music started. Graham took Jackie's hand and led her to the back of the procession. To the music of 'Hear comes the bride' you held your bouquet just as Karen and Judy were holding theirs and followed Karen in through the door. You concentrated on mimicking Karen's steps trying to stay 5 meters behind her.

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust to the relative dimness inside the church. When they did you saw the small church was full. All the eyes and smiling faces seemed initially to be looking at you, but soon left you to gaze at your bride, who you knew to be following you, once she entered the church.

Your own eyes searched up to the front of the church where you saw your own body, now inhabited by Carmen standing beside the priest. Beside him were your three groomsmen, Nate, Trent and Jack. All looking spruced up in their matching black suits. Carmen's eyes met yours. He seemed at ease and gave you a smile and a wink. You averted your eyes. Realising you were once more in danger of bursting into tears. It should have been you up there preparing to marry Jackie.

Despite the emotions you managed to trail Karen all the way to the altar, without tripping or dropping your flowers. You stepped up onto the raised altar, and fortunately remembered to stand at Karen's right which should have been Carmen's position.

You turned and faced the congregation in time to watch the last few steps of Jackie and Graham up the aisle. She was beautiful but it broke your heart to see Jackie 'handed over' to Carmen. Graham had done his job. He left the altar and took his seat on the front pew, noticeably separated from Teresa by his son, Jackie's brother Brett.

You looked to the other front pew and saw your mother sitting there her eyes glued to the man she thought was her son.

You found you could not look at Carmen in the eye, as the priest proceeded to marry him to Jackie. It should have been you. You listened though, when the priest asked Carmen "Do you Gerald Duncan, take Jacqueline Driscoll, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till **** do you part?"

Carmen replied "I do". It felt like a stab in your heart, even though you knew that Carmen was only doing what you had asked.

Then it was Jackie's turn. The priest asked her "Do you Jacqueline Driscoll, take Gerald Duncan as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till **** do you part?"

You tried to catch her eye, however she was facing away from you looking directly at Carmen. All you could do was hear her say loudly and clearly "I do" If earlier it had felt like a stab in your heart, Jackie's words felt like someone was ripping your heart from your chest. The rest of the ceremony was like watching a movie. Jackie and Carmen exchanged rings. Then the priest announced them man and wife.

The kiss lingered for longer than was needed. Then without once looking at you Jackie and Carmen were heading back down the aisle with the congregation standing and applauding them. You followed, but only because Trent had taken your hand and was leading you.

Once outside the church Jackie and Carmen were mobbed by well wishers. It seemed as if they were approached by every guest. They had no time for you. It seemed that Jackie wouldn't even meet your eye.

Instead you found yourself cornered by Trent and Jack, your best mates from college. They appeared to be battling each other for your attention. With an inner sigh you recalled Carmen flirting with them both at the pre-wedding dinner, which was the first time they had met Carmen. You recalled Trent telling you later that night how he thought Carmen was 'Hot' and how he would like to get to know her better.

It was going to be a long evening.