Anguilles Fumées

Lucian sat up and faced his diminutive assistant before leaning in his arm on his knee, propping his head up as he gazed at her lazily, “Yes? What exactly is it that we need to discuss? The round is over, the master is in his suite, and the girls are entertaining themselves…” he gestured lazily to a screen where both Stella and Amy were Masturbating in full view, “First day a success.”

Reyna swung her arms erratically, “You petulant child! You know exactly what I mean! Why did you veto Amy’s gyaru transformation?!”

Lucian pursed his lips and looked to the side, “Obviously for the good of the show…” his voice lacked any conviction as he avoided eye contact with the assistant.

Fuming, Reyna bounced on the balls of her feet, “You brat! This isn’t the ninth circle! You can’t go punishing contestants for perceived treacheries and slights! You’re a host! We could have had a bombshell twiddling herself for everyone to see!”

Lucian clicked his tongue and stood up, “Oh really? Great, your whole plan for this season was to have the girls scrambling to get ahead and you would give the one girl with a clear in an advantage like that? Fine who should I have vetoed oh wise one?!” smoke was rising from Lucian’s Exposed skin.

Not missing a beat, Reyna pointed at the screen and enlarged the image of Eliza sleeping next to Noemi, “They Demilfed our MILF! Obviously use it on her! Now we’re going to be building her up backwards just to keep intrigue up.”

The demon swung his arms wide, “We still have Mira, not to mention that woman you keep in the Sabotage Shop!” Flames were licking at his skin now, his skin going dark and ashy where they licked.

Reyna closed her eyes in frustration before they snapped open with renewed vigor, the screens behind them switching to Mira, “Mira isn’t a Milf you Philestine! She occupies the older sister route! She’s got mad Ara Ara energy but lacks the maturity for being a Milf. And Arietta isn’t a contestant!”

Lucian walked over and kicked a stool, body in full blaze now, “What does that even mean?! Ara Ara energy? Listen if you wanted to run this ship you had your chance. You could have left me in the fucking ninth circle and we would both be happy!”

Reyna walked straight up to Lucian and kicked him in the stomach sending him to the ground, “For the Last time, I’m no Host! I’m a writer! We needed a host! You need to start acting like one!”

Lucian’s face looked like he was having a conniption as he gestured to his outfit, “What do you think I’m trying to do?! Do you think I dress up like Sylvia for fun?! I’m trying here!”

“Try harder!” Reyna growled as she looked down at him on the ground, “You’re a male host, you’re already at a disadvantage, you want to end up like AL? No one likes Al! So can the temper tantrums and start doing your job!”

The host snarled looking up at Reyna, “I didn’t want this! I never wanted any of this! Why did you pick me huh?”

A satisfied grin crossed the assistant’s face, “Sounding an awful lot like our Master now, aren’t you?”

Lucian hissed, his fork tongue vibrating as he climbed to his feet, “Shut up, just…fine I’ll do better.”

Reyna hopped up and patted Lucian on the head causing a momentarily spike in the flames, “See Lucy? It’s not that bad. Keep it up and I can keep sending the producer’s positive words about all you’ve accomplished. You know what happens if I send bad words.”

Lucian looked like he was ready to strike Reyna before his shoulders slumped, “Yes I know, but then why may I ask are there things I’m not allowed to know about my own goddamn season? Like that Arietta woman, or how does the Master know Maya? Seems pretty important.”

Crossing in front of the demon, Reyna leaned in and gave him a sly smile, a finger raised in front of her lips “Trust the writer on this one, some surprises are better when the reactions are completely natural."

She leaned in and rubbed Lucian’s chin, “You just focus on being the host, Prodding the Master, driving up their sense of desperation, of course, all while making it nice and sexy for the folks at home.” She danced back and put on a doe-eyed expression, “Meanwhile I’ll be Reyna your bumbling assistant just trying to do her best to help everyone out uwu.”

Lucian curled his lip in distaste, “What is…’uwu’”

Reyna gave a bright and cheery laugh, “Nevermind Lucy my boy, just keep in mind what your job is and what mine is and try to hold back on dispensing justice on evildoers. The “I hate humans” thing though is pretty great, keep that up.”

“It’s not a thing, I truly find them detestable,” Lucian growled out.

Reyna yawned and collapsed on the couch, “Anyway…It’s about time.”

Lucian looked over, “About time for what exactly?”

The assistant smiled, “Oh well it’s about the time our Sister season's first episode should be out. They’re set to air back to back, Producers are trying something new out.”

Lucian sat down, “Of course they are…so are we going to watch it?”

Reyna gave the demon puppy dog eyes, “Do you not want to see what our competition is up to?”

Lucian rolled his eyes, “Any research will help me do my job correctly right? I don’t have to enjoy it just turn it on.”

Reyna hits the remote and all the screens show one collective image. The cameras fade in on a sprawling, lush garden with a white marble pavilion at its center.

One Hour Later

The room was partially ablaze as Lucian knocked over furniture as Reyna was having a laughing fit on the couch.

“How could they do this?! Back to back! Eliza and Elise? They’re both goddamn college professors and they’re wearing almost identical clothes!” He lifts a stool and throws it into the wall.

Reyna snorts, “You even made the Asian girls transformations match with your veto, oh gosh now the Oni wars have begun!” Reyna beats her fist into the couch as she cackles loudly.

In the background, Lucian is smashing something off-screen while his yelling can be heard, “Vtubers! They had to have a Vtuber and she’s a Hispanic woman introduced drinking?! Sure, take Noemi while you’re at it!”

Reyna rolls onto her back and kicks her feet, “Be careful, don’t want anyone to hear you saying Puerto Ricans and Chileans are the same, we don’t need to be canceled!”

Lucian marches back into the frame, “Send them a goddamn gift basket! I don’t want to hear shit about how I’m a bad host for not respecting the competition.”

Reyna leans over the back of the couch wiping away a tear as she struggles to hold back laughter, “A gift basket? What kind?”

Lucian waves his arms emphatically, “An exotic fruit basket! Sneak in a durian and write a nice note, just augh!” Flames burst from his skin as he marched out of the room.

A sneaky smile crosses Reyna’s face, “Sure thing Lucy.”