And I'll shed no tears, I'll only keep on waiting

Nick was shaken. All he could do was stare helplessly as Rose disappeared out the door. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he wanted to say and do, but he was paralyzed with indecision. Because, in his heart, he knew that no matter what he had to say, his words wouldn’t reach Rose’s ears at this point.

This is all my fault. Even if I tell her how I feel, she won’t even believe me. And why should she? I couldn’t show her my feelings properly, and now it’s too late. But even then, she still says she loves me… even though I don’t deserve it.

Nick tried not to cry. It would be pathetic if he did. After all, he wasn’t the one hurting right now. That was Rose. If anyone deserved to cry, it was her. The only thing Nick deserved was to suffer for being the piece of shit who’d crushed her fragile heart without thinking just because he’d taken her feelings for him for granted.

I’m the worst.

“Nick…” Mary looked at her husband and the haunted expression on his face, and her heart quivered. She could see how much pain he was in, and she knew how much he loved Rose, and thus, how ridiculous her assertion about him was. But at the same time, she also knew that Rose wasn’t wrong with her statement. Nick had made a mistake, even though he loved her. Mary wished that wasn’t the case… but at the same time… she found herself struggling to condemn him.

Nobody knew what to say. Amelia stood up and approached her stepson. Words always came difficultly to her, but she could still express herself with physical gestures, so that’s what she did. She reached out her hand and placed it tenderly on his shoulder, like a mother should do for her son.

Nick recoiled like her fingers were lit matches.

His head snapped around and their eyes met, and it was like a spell had been lifted on the room. Time seemed to start again, and the tension that had been building in everyone’s hearts came spilling out all over the place.

“What was that!?” Kim gasped. She staggered back and nearly fell over if not for Octavia swiftly catching her. “Rose… she…”

“All that stuff she said…” Dani looked down, her face wracked with guilt. “Who knew Rose was thinking that seriously about everything?”

“This is the worst…” Dawn chewed on her thumbnail. “That damn Echo… messing around with everything… driving a wedge in Rose’s heart…”

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin just scowled. She looked up at Nick and tried to quell the feeling of murderous rage in her breast. After hearing what Rose had said and how she’d accused him, she’d nearly snapped. But she knew that Nick wouldn’t want her to express herself that way, so she held herself back.

“She’s not wrong, though,” Ella muttered. She looked down. “Rose… is right to feel like she’s being taken advantage of… I think…”

Ella was stuck in a difficult position. She cared about Nick a lot, but due to Cinder’s budding friendship with Rose, she found herself being deferential to the blonde and her feelings. Which made her own heart feel muddy and unfocused.

“No, she’s totally wrong!” Sylvia exclaimed. “Can’t she see that Daddy is trying?! I mean… I know he could be better about expressing his feelings, but…”

Marley bit her lip and glanced at her sister. She wondered what Carly felt about this whole mess. After all, both sisters understood the complicated situation and dynamics at play here. Carly had a difficult to read expression on her face. Like she was shaken.

“Holly…” Gina elbowed Holly in the side and leaned in. “What do you think?” She whispered to the other girl.

Holly honestly didn’t know what to think. She remained silent and glanced at Mary. All of this was overwhelming to her, and honestly…

She felt for Rose. She really did. Just because I’m satisfied with scraps, doesn’t mean that everyone would be, she thought. Nick showed me just how much he loved me and cared about me… and that was amazing. Has he given that much care and attention to Rose?

Vivian felt paralyzed herself. She valued the cohesive fun of the group, so when it started collapsing like this, she was at a loss.

Say something, damn it! She cursed at herself. One of your transformation paths is Harem Queen, isn’t it? So doesn’t that mean it’s your job to make sure that the harem is getting along together smoothly? Well, this is the opposite of smooth!

But with her own heart in turmoil about her feelings towards Nick, she couldn’t speak up the way she wanted to. She didn’t even know what she should say in a situation like this. Stuff like love and marriage… she lacked the experience to properly address those things.

“Nick!”

The most unlikely of people was the one to stand up and call out to Nick amidst the sea of conflicted emotions. Yes, she’d had a few seconds of hesitation, but that was still faster than anyone else had managed to account for him.

Nick looked at Morgana, stunned.

“Come with me!” Morgana grabbed him by the hand and pulled him away, surprising everyone else at the table.

“Morgana!?” Dawn’s jaw dropped and she stared after her friend in shock.

“What… what’s she doing?” Ella wondered as she watched the other girl pull Nick towards the door. “They’re leaving?”

“Guys!?” Dani stood up to go after the goth girl. But Morgana stopped in the doorway and turned her sharp gaze towards the tomboy.

“Nick and I are going to go bring Rose back!” She called out. “You guys just stay here and wait! Don’t worry- everything will be fine!”

“Morgana…” Nick finally managed to speak by the time they made it out of the Banquet Hall. “What’s going on? What… why are you…?”

“I’m sorry, Nick, but this is important!” Morgana tightened her grip on her wrist. Her face was burning and she turned her eyes towards him, pleading with her gaze. “We can’t let Rose run off on her own! We need to settle this now, or else… or else it’s just going to fester!” She begged him.

Nick didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve been in Rose’s position…” she whimpered. “Scared and uneasy… not sure how you felt about me… how anyone felt about me. Thinking that the only reason people were being nice was because they pitied me. But I know, that isn’t you! Right?”

Nick stared at her, frozen. She’d unloaded so many words on him so quickly, and he still had barely managed to process the shock of Rose’s outburst- forget about the shock of Morgana forcefully dragging him out of the Banquet Hall!

But Morgana wanted- no, needed an answer. “Answer me!” She cried. “Do you want to marry Rose or not? Tell me, how do you really feel about her?! Not pity- because you want to marry her! Is that the truth, or not?”

Stunned, Nick could only shake his head.

Morgana winced. “That-”

“Wait, no! That- you got me all confused!” Nick’s brain had finally caught up. “I was shaking my head because of what you said before, about how ‘that isn’t me’,” he clarified. “The truth is, I… you’re right, Morgana, when… when I think about Rose… I want to marry her, I do!”

Morgana narrowed her eyes. “And that’s the truth?” She asked suspiciously.

“Yes!” Nick could say yes a thousand more times, and would it even matter? He honestly didn’t know. But he knew how he felt in his heart.

Morgana bit her lip. “Then… you need to show her that,” she said. “We have to make her believe it somehow, Nick!”

Nick was stunned by the forcefulness of her voice. “Morgana…”

This was the most direct he’d ever seen her.

To understand why Morgana was suddenly so aggressive, the audience would have needed to be paying attention to her mental state a few minutes ago, when Rose was expressing her feelings to Nick and he was left speechless.

“Rose… I… I do want to marry you! I just… messed up.”

“Maybe you do.” Rose bit her lip. “I want to believe you, Nick, because… because I love you more than anything. But… …But you could just be saying that because you know how much I want to hear those words from you,” her voice dropped to a whisper and Morgana strained her ears. “And that’s what hurts me most. I don’t want your pity!”

Her exclamation shook Morgana to the core. Pity… that… that’s not it, Rose, don’t you see?

Rose hadn’t stopped there. “I want you to love me! I want you… I wanted you… to marry me because you want to, not because you feel like you have to, for my sake!”

This is the worst… the worst! Morgana was almost on the brink of tears. As an introvert with poor social skills, as a girl who had messed up so many times in trying to express herself that it wasn’t even funny, she understood what was going on here.

Doesn’t she see that Nick made a mistake? Morgana thought as the emotions kept flaring up from the tearstricken blonde. He loves you, he’s just going through so much right now. I know, he should have expressed his feelings to you before, but… but now… you won’t even hear him.

Morgana balled up her fists in her lap and trembled. I know what it’s like, Rose, I know what you’re going through! I was afraid too, I thought Nick didn’t value me for who I was! But if he can care about someone like me, then it’s obvious his feelings for you are genuine! And Nick… I know what it’s like to not think about expressing yourself, to just let things go and think it’s alright… not realizing how bad it really is… and that’s bad too, but… I just don’t know what to do here!

Morgana could see where both of them were coming from. This was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad misunderstanding, and she could see it right in front of her! But… she couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t fix it. All she could do was watch helplessly.

I want to say something. I want to stand up for him, but… but I’m too weak! Morgana clenched her fists tightly. If only I was the kind of tough, strong-willed girl who spoke her mind. Then I could fix this! That’s the kind of person Nick loves, isn’t it? Someone like Rose who’s willing to put herself out there, or like Holly, who isn’t afraid to express her feelings, or like Mary, who’s so sure of herself! There’s a reason he loves all of them. If only I could be perfect like that!

Those feelings of wanting to be better, of wanting to be the kind of woman who could help Nick in a situation like this, spurred her transformation. And just like that, she reshaped herself into her view of his perfect fantasy without even thinking.

Too late to stop Rose from running out the door. But not too late to get Nick to go after her.

Rose roamed the halls of the hotel like a wayward spirit. She swayed listlessly from side to side as she trudged through the long corridors of the resplendent hotel, feeling completely invisible and unseen as faeries flickered about her, going through their jobs like they didn’t even know she was there.

What have I done? She thought, barely noticing her surroundings. Her flicking tail knocked over a vase of flowers and she didn’t even register it. All those things I said to Nick… I wasn’t wrong for saying them. My heart, it… it hurts too much.

Rose knew that her words were the truth. She’d expressed her feelings to him, finally, but…

Being right hurts so much. It’s not fair…!

Why did Rose have to be the one suffering now? For standing up for herself? For expressing her feelings? For putting her foot down and saying, “I’m not happy with this”?

How was it fair that she was feeling lonely and in pain just for saying how she felt?

Of course it makes sense, she thought, biting her lip bitterly. After all, everyone in there is in Nick’s harem. Of course they would choose his side.

Her negative feelings were clouding her heart. On some level, she could register that. This situation wasn’t about “sides” after all. No matter how the other girls felt about Nick, she knew that she had friends in that room who cared about her feelings, too. Nobody needed to feel like supporting Rose or Nick in this situation was a “betrayal” of the other.

That wasn’t how any of this worked, after all.

But…

Rose sure FELT like she was betrayed, rational or not.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she sniffled. “I…” her voice cracked and she slumped against the wall to keep from falling over. “I just wish… that I… never had to think about any of that stuff,” she sobbed, cursing Echo for putting those thoughts in her mind.

But, in the back of her head, she knew that her blame was being aimed at the wrong person.

Echo’s motives were cruel and spiteful, there was no denying that. She’d brought up the subject of marriage purely to screw Rose over and cause her pain.

But…

Rose had harbored those thoughts already. Deep down, in the dark pit in her chest where she buried all her fears and unpleasant emotions, she had tried not to think about the fact that Nick still hadn’t married her yet.

Echo hadn’t “planted any thoughts in her head” or anything like that.

She had merely unearthed the fears and insecurities that had already haunted Rose all this time.

That was the worst part.

And now I can’t even trust him.

Rose fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around herself. She started to shake. “I love him,” she whispered, as tears rolled down her cheeks, “but I can’t even trust him…”

“I’m sorry about that, too.”

Rose’s fox ears twitched and she snapped her head up. She whirled around, eyes wide, and looked up at Nick with a stunned expression on her face.

“Nick!?” She gasped incredulously. Her love filled her vision so entirely that she didn’t even notice Morgana standing behind him.

She just saw the pain on his face.

“Rose, I’m so sorry,” Nick apologized. He approached her and she staggered to her feet. For a second, Nick thought she was about to run again.

But she didn’t run. Maybe she was too tired to try. She just looked at him with a somber expression on her face, and her hands rested sadly at her sides.

With her ears drooped and her whole body trembling, Nick thought she looked like she was made of glass. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Rose this fragile.

“Came running after me, huh…?” Rose asked in a tired voice. She gazed pitifully up at Nick and bit her lip. She almost smiled. “Sorry… for being so pathetic and disappointing and causing a scene, but… it’s fine, really.”

Of course it wasn’t fine. Nick could see it in her face, her body language, hell, even her tail that nothing about this situation was “fine” for Rose.

“I already said… everything I have to say, so…”

Shadows danced across Rose’s face as she looked away. She couldn’t even face him at this point, that was how shattered she felt.

Nick winced. This was his fault. All of this. He had made this mistake, and he couldn’t do anything about it now.

“Rose…” his voice cracked. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“…Yeah,” she muttered. “You’ve been saying that a lot.”

Rose didn’t need his apologies at this point. They didn’t move her heart in the slightest. They just made it ache even more.

“I really am sorry,” Nick said. He knew how pathetic that must have sounded, but what else could he say? He approached her slowly, cautiously, like she really was a wounded fox. “I wish I could make things right, but… I don’t know how to do that. I can’t rewind time. All I can do then-”

“Is tell me you’re sorry, right?” Rose cut him off. She finally met his gaze again. She clutched her hand over her heart and forced a bitter smile to her lips. “Nick… do you know why marriage means so much to me?” She asked.

Nick had honestly never questioned it before. And realizing that made him feel even worse. “Rose-”

“I’ve always wanted children,” Rose interrupted him. “No one would guess that looking at me, but it’s been my dream, ever since I was a little girl. Maman… she always looked so happy when she was with us, my brother and I… that’s what I wanted. I wanted to be an amazing actress and a wonderful mother, just like maman.”

Tears welled up in her eyes but she fought them back, trying to force a smile to her lips in order to keep them at bay.

Her whole body trembled.

“I wanted them with you, mon compagnon,” she said softly, as her tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. “Because I love you. I want to marry you… because… I don’t want to end up like maman…”

Nick’s heart prickled with realization. “Rose… that-”

“I never knew my mon père… my father,” Rose cut him off. “As far as Chrys and I were concerned… he never existed. Whenever I asked maman about him, she would always change the subject. I was too young then to really understand it, and then… when maman passed away, and it was just Chrys and I, and our grandparents… I was so lonely and sad. And I… I don’t want that for my children!”

Rose voice cracked. She couldn’t fight back the tears anymore as they rolled down her cheeks. “I a mother and father… kids… I want that more than anything!” She cried. “I don’t want to be alone again! I don’t… I don’t want to raise a child like maman did, and not be able to tell them about their father! That… that’s why I-!”

Nick couldn’t believe it took him until now to realize that. Maybe it was because of how long it had been since he and Rose had last talked about her family, but thinking about it now, it all made perfect sense. Of course Rose would want to marry him. It wasn’t just about romance or love.

Rose wanted a family. But she’d always hesitated at the last moment when it came to actually having children. Her fantasy in Dream Alley, it was a blaring signal about what her heart desired. The standard nuclear family. Through marriage, she could be secure that she wouldn’t end up in the same situation as her mother, raising two children on her own while trying to make it as an actress.

No wonder she was so crushed by her fear that Nick didn’t want that with her. When she loved him so dearly.

“I’m sorry,” Nick apologized, shedding tears over his own foolhardiness and cruelty. “I’m so sorry, Rose… I never… I never should have taken your feelings for granted… I’m so sorry!”

He wished there was some way to make amends to her for how horribly he’d misunderstood everything and taken her for granted. If only there was some way he could show her how he felt, and make her believe it…

Realization dawned on him.

Maybe there was.

“Rose!” He grabbed her wrist, startling her. She looked up at him with her big, tear-filled blue eyes, and trembled.

“Eh?”

“Come with me,” he urged her. “Please. I need to show you how I really feel!”