And Finally, a Physicist and a Roboticist

A dozen white, snake-like robots rapidly wiggled their way across the slippery hardwood floor of the Boston condominium. All but one of the evening’s guests having long since bid their farewells, most of the furniture had been converted into a makeshift obstacle course – a teetering pile of couches, chairs, and pillows. Set precariously atop the assembly was a serving platter, a single deviled egg, carefully decorated with paprika and a half slice of bacon, perched on top.

Reaching the unstable pile, the bots reared up, thin red laser pointers emanating from the single forward facing iris on each cylindrical head. Pausing only a second to scan the environment, the bots continued forward. Each took a different path, wriggling over or squirming in amongst the furniture. Upon reaching the top, two of the creatures carefully crept up to each side of the egg, gently using their heads to lift it up between them, before deftly continuing down the pile. Two minutes later, the twelve snakes were lined up in perfect formation on the other side of the course, the egg still balanced atop its tandem couriers. Success.

Carmen Cruz beamed. “Ha! Look at my babies, look at them go!”

The Latina gestured excitedly, one hand on her hip, the other pointing about the room as she paced and spoke, her long, wavy hair bouncing with motion. Only occasionally did it come to rest, hanging all the way down to her butt. Which wasn’t that impressive – she was barely five feet tall. And it was a big butt, straining against her faded skinny jeans. Her t-shirt was emblazoned with the logo of the company she had created 3 years ago – DoggoDating Dot Com – an unexpected smash hit which had lead her to drop out of Cedarwood as a sophomore to instead pursue entrepreneurship full time. She spoke with a slight Mexican accent, her words falling into a rhythmic staccato in her excitement.

“I’m telling, you, Polina, this is gonna be big. Look, how they all work together! Different routes to solve the puzzle, but they share the information! And they sync up at the end!”

Carmen paused, looking at her favorite professor from her brief stint at Cedarwood, the woman seated, legs crossed, on the one couch not claimed for the demonstration pile. The statuesque 35 year old physicist sported a plush navy vest and a long white skirt, her brown hair pulled up into a tight bun. Her still face betrayed nothing of her thoughts on the demonstration, but Carmen was not discouraged – she knew that to be typical for her stoic former mentor.

“The problem is the sensing,” Carmen continued, “The lidar setup is just too unreliable. That’s why we need you on board, Polina. Not full time, just as a consultant. It’s good money, and I bet you could get at least a couple papers out of it, too.”

It was several seconds before Polina responded. “What is the purpose of these robots, Carmen? Who are you selling these to?”

“I was thinking disaster recovery,” came the enthusiastic reply, “They could search a building for survivors. Or with a little shielding, we could send them into a burning or flooded area. With the right configuration, they can even carry heavy objects, so they could bring supplies to the location.”

“Carmen,” Polina carefully returned, “Have you talked to anyone involved in disaster recovery? Any firefighters, a member of the coast guard?”

Carmen frowned. “No. I wanted to get a proper version working first, so that it will be impressive. Its really not ready for sales, yet.”

“I’m not talking about sales. Every hot shot young roboticist thinks they have the next great idea for disaster recovery. I promise, its not that easy.”

“You don’t think it will work?”

“You have no idea if it will work. You don’t even know what your customers are looking for.”

“My babies are state of the art, Polina! No one else can do something like this, there are plenty of ways they can be useful, even if we have to change them later on. But if I start showing them with broken sensors, I will just be a laughing stock. I have to wow them! That’s why I need you for the project, they are really so close to finished!”

The physicist sighed and stood. She smoothed her wrinkled vest and collected her leather briefcase from its place on the floor.

“Ah, you are a stubborn girl, Carmen,” Polina gently replied, a wan smile crossing her lips, “I wish you luck with your project. Your work is not bad.”

“Name a price!” The Latina nearly shouted. “How much do you want? You know I have the money!” She grasped the front of her shirt with both hands, stretching out the smiling husky of her company’s logo, wiggling it up and down to emphasize it. “Five million users every day! I have the budget, how much do you want?”

But Polina only smiled and shook her head, heading towards the door. “Thank you for hosting, Carmen. It was an enjoyable evening. And I do wish you luck.”

Carmen flounced onto the couch behind her, crossing her arms. “Thank you for coming, Polina. It was good to see you again.”

She shouted after the departing woman, “And call me if you change your mind!”

But the door had swung shut, long strides already carrying Polina towards the bus stop at the end of the road, crisp October air making her hair stand on end.

Waiting for the bus, Polina reflected on the evening. She did enjoy her young mentee’s presence – in sufficiently small doses. A certain strand of common sense was occasionally lacking. Not to even mention the ability to take no for an answer. But she was very bright, and did keep interesting company. And her deviled eggs were to die for.

Meanwhile, Carmen sulkily collected her robots, gathering them into a large DoggoDating branded tote bag. “Hot shot,” she muttered to herself. “Just a young hot shot. Hmph!”

Looking back at the mess in her living room, she decided cleanup could wait for tomorrow. Making her way back to her bedroom, tote bag in hand, she begrudgingly took out her phone, searching for the non emergency number of the local fire department. Maybe she would give them a call.

In the same instant, Carmen’s bedroom door creaked open, while in front of Polina, the doors to the bus folded open with a hiss. As each stepped through their respective portal, they suddenly found themselves reunited, standing unsteadily on the murky hardwood stage of the Cedarwood College auditorium.

***

Esther strode forward to welcome them with an exaggerated bow, one arm outstretched. “Hello, hello, and welcome! Carmen Cruz and Polina Petrochenko, our last two lucky contestants on Harem Hotel: Catastrophe at Cedarwood College! Now, if you’d please go ahead and sit with the other contestants, I shall proceed with what you’ve all been waiting for – the rules of the show!”

Carmen and Polina considered the scene. Fiona on the throne, nervously clenching the armrests. Six women on the folding chairs below – one seated nude, one in a bathrobe, one frozen solid, naked, floating in the air.

Carmen stumbled backwards, mouth agape.

Polina was steadier, staring first at Esther, then looking askance at the college president. “What’s going on, Fiona? I don’t remember getting here.”

“Hello, Polina,” Fiona responded, grimly, “I don’t think any of us do. As far as I can tell, we’ve been magically **** by Esther here to take part in some kind of show. I don’t think its ****, and I don’t think its a dream. Brooke went for an attack, but Esther stripped and froze her with some kind of energy beam. We tried running, but we keep getting teleported back. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Energy beam?” Carmen chimed in, collecting herself. “That doesn’t make any sense. Look at her, there’s not even any marks on her, she is just frozen. What kind of energy would it even be?” Incredulous, she walked over to inspect the floating oddity, waving her hands in the air in an attempt to detect the hidden strands she new must be holding the woman up.

“Its not energy, its magic!” declared Esther. “Now, if you’ll just go ahead and -”

“Hey, Carmen,” interjected Bianca, her frantic voice now tinged with anger, “Can you please stop ogling my girlfriend and sit down. I’m really worried about her, and Esther said she’d only be unfrozen once everyone is seated.”

Carmen whipped her head around to fix Bianca with a stare. She blushed red, as it finally crossed her mind that the curiously suspended object she had been inspecting was in fact a very real, very naked woman. “Ogling? I am not ogling her! She is floating in midair, I want to know how it works, just -”

“Come sit down, Carmen.” Polina appeared behind her, placing a comforting arm on her shoulder to interrupt the burgeoning argument. “You’ll give us a proper explanation, then?” She added, turning back towards Esther.

“Of course!” The hostess beamed as the final pair took their seats.