Amanda Waller Comes To Collect The Eggs

Lois Lane was sure that she had locked the door—yet suddenly there was someone else in her apartment. A short, broad-shouldered, middle-aged Black woman with bags under her eyes and close-cropped hair, wearing a blue business dress and sensible flat shoes. In one arm she carried something that looked like a high-tech thermos.

"Agent?" Waller said, ignoring the reporter and her dangling anus as she opened the canister. "In here, quickly."

"Amanda Waller," Lois gasped as she recognized her. "Task **** X—the Suicide Squad."

"That's right, Lane," Waller acknowledged as Maria fed the eggs into the canister, which the Black woman sealed tight. "And thank you."

The reporter, naked and in pain, a pink tube hanging out of her ass, frowned. A dozen questions ran through her mind...but already she was putting the pieces together. Maria obviously worked for Waller. Waller wanted the Starro eggs. This whole thing stank of some government black ops program...

"Thank me for what?" Lois said, at last.

"For serving your country. As we speak, Task **** X is putting an end to LexCorp's highly illegal research into alien bioweapons. We were concerned about potential...spillage...but between our embedded agent and your meddling, that issue is now neutralized."

The reporter chewed that over. Amanda Waller looked around Lois Lane's apartment, making no sign of leaving. Which didn't make sense to Lois. Waller had what she wanted...didn't she?

Finally, the brown eyes turned and locked on Lois.

"Your family has a history of serving their country. Your father, the general. Your sister, in the army. Have you ever thought of joining up, Lane?"

The reporter leaned against her sink. She didn't want to try and sit down with a prolapsed anus. She didn't trust Waller, but the Black woman was working up to something.

"I don't think the army needs another reporter," Lois said dryly.

"No," Waller acknowledged. "But there are other ways to serve your country. Certain benefits. Medical benefits, for example."

Lois Lane's patience hung by a thread.

"Waller, tell me what you want," Lois said.

"I want you to work for me," the Black woman said. "We can provide you with a stipend, retirement benefits, medical care, even access to certain information to assist you in maintaining your current career as a newspaper journalist as a cover."

Lois tried to maintain a poker face...but some dollop of goo dripped out of her ass, and it burned on its way out. A weird smell, like rotten eggs, filled the bathroom.

"What would I be doing for you, exactly?" Lois said.