All Sales Are Final

Sarah recognized her as soon as she walked into the pawn shop: The stuck up rich bitch that got her fired from the last ten stores she worked at. She glared at the woman was she approached the counter.

"Welcome to Pete's Pawns." Sarah greeted, forcing a smile. She was not going to let this woman fire her from yet another job. "How may I help you -"

"Yeah, yeah, look!" Valarie snapped rudely, causing Sarah to roll her eyes as she realized that, just like the last ten times, the rich woman didn't recognize her. "I'm in a bit of a bind right now! I'm Valarie Stone."

"The C.E.O. and founder of Stone Enterprises?" Sarah asked, feigning shock.

"That's the one! You know, you're the eleventh saleslady I've spoken with who responded that way." The twenty-eight year old C.E.O. said to the nineteen year old saleswoman.

"Small world..." Sarah replied, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," Valerie continued, "this is embarrassing, but I made a few bad business deals and... Well, now I'm running into a few money issues."

That got Sarah's attention as she raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What kind of money issues?"

"I'm broke."

"Really?" Sarah asked in legit shock, desperately trying to keep the laughter out of her voice.

"Yes!" Valerie exclaimed, "I lost everything! My mansion, my business, my car! Everything but the clothes I'm currently wearing right now! I tried to pay off the repo men with the last amount of money I had so I could at least have my car and a week's worth of clothes, but I came up $150,000 short!"

"I see..." Sarah said, the wheels in her head turning. "What have you got to pawn?"

"Take these!" Valarie said, dropping a pearl necklace and earrings on the counter. "I got them from an oyster farm in Maine on a business trip. These should be enough, right?"

Sarah picked up the pearls up and examined them, remembering her training from Pete to identify fake pearls from real ones. Sure enough, the pearls on both the necklace and both earrings were real. The young woman was just about to inform her customer of this when she realized something. She herself was on the verge of being evicted, already two months behind on the rent and just about to move back in with her parents. And the reason she was behind was because she kept getting fired from her jobs... Because of this bitch showing up and complaining enough to get her fired!

If karma was gonna bite Valerie in the ass, then Sarah was going to help it bite her!

"Sorry, Ma'am. These are fake." Sarah lied.

"FAKE?!" Valarie shrieked, "Are you freaking blind?! I saw the guy take these out of the actual oysters! If these are fake, then I'm the Queen of The Moon!"

"Sorry, Your Majesty." Sarah replied, pushing the pearls aside.

"Are you being smart with me?"

"You're the one who tried to pawn off fake jewelery, Ms. Stone." Sarah replied, lying through her teeth. "Which is illegal, by the way."

"Alright! Fine!" Valerie snapped, pulling off her wrist watch and placing it on the counter. "This is a genuine 1965 Rolls Royce watch that I won in a silent auction two years back! I paid $100,000 for it then!"

Sarah took the watch as she examined it. "Hate to break it to you, Ma'am -"

"Oh, don't you dare tell me this is fake too!"

"No, it's real." Sarah responded, "I was just going to tell you that you overpayed big time. Best I can give you is... Oh, I'd say, $750."

"$750?!"

"Hey, at least it's something." Sarah said with a shrug, "Now you just have to pawn enough to earn about..." She briefly did the math in her head before saying, "$149,250 more."

"Those are the only things I have left to sell!" Valarie snapped in annoyed desperation, pounding a fist on the counter. "What the hell could I sell to you that I -"

Valerie's eyes widened. It was a **** long shot, but she had an idea!

As if she was reading the older woman's mind, Sarah did everything in her power to not laugh as she knew exactly what Valerie was thinking... Something that the nineteen year old was counting on.

"Wait a second!" Valerie said quickly as she removed her blazer, placing it on the counter before stepping out of her platform shoes and sitting them next to the blazer.

Sarah looked over the articles on the counter for a few seconds before turning to Valerie. "I'll give you $100 for the blazer and $90 for the shoes.

"The blazer was $450, and the shoes were $1,950 each." Valerie spat.

"Then how about $290 for the blazer, and $1,800 for each shoe?" Sarah haggled.

"Ugh! Fine!" Valerie groaned. She didn't care anymore, and just needed the money.

"Good. Now you just need $145,360."

This went on for a while as Valarie removed her clothes and sat them on the counter. After she was completely naked, Sarah did the math and said, "You're $100,000 short of your goal, Ma'am."

"Look at me!" Valerie snapped, gesturing down at her now nude body. "Do I look like I have anything left to sell, let alone anything that's worth $100,000?!"

"Well, Ma'am, I -" Sarah began, only to stop as she "realized" something. "Oops."

"What 'oops'?"

"It appears that, after looking at them again, these are, in fact, real pearls." Sarah replied, feigning a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

Valarie could only glare and mutter angrily in response as Sarah added in the price of the pearls.

"Okay," Sarah said, "with the addition of the pearls, you are now up to..." She put the numbers into the calculator, hummed a bit, and then finished up with, "$301,000.42."

"Thank you." Valerie said rudely, her voice redder than a tomato. "Now just give me the money so I can buy back my car and a week's worth of clothes! And maybe buy a dress here so I can wear it outside."

"Well, there's a slight problem there, Ma'am." Sarah said as she walked out from behind the counter and stood in front of the naked woman. The moment she had been waiting for. "See, we have a policy here at Pete's Pawns that we follow strictly to the letter."

"And what's that?"

"'No shirts, no shoes, no service'." Sarah replied with an evil smile.

The door to the pawn shop opened up as Valarie was pushed out onto the street, naked as the day she was born as Sarah closed and locked the door behind the former rich woman.

"W-wait!" Valarie stammered as she slammed a fist against the door. "What about my clothes?!"

"Sorry, Ma'am." Sarah replied with a laugh as she walked away from the door. "All sales are final."