Alexander Grant, Once and Future King. Of Penises.

The otherworldly girl helps herself to another bowl of cereal as she raises her eyebrows and shoots you a reproachful glance, addressing you with an airy tone. "I'd have expected some pomp and circumstance back in the day, you know." She pours the last of your milk over her fresh serving of cinnamon sugar morsels, taking a moment to suck the syrupy residue off of your spoon before continuing on. "Crowds waiting with baited breath for your victory or defeat. Princesses clutching their boxes in anticipation of what delights they may be in store for. Bare minimum two wizards, usually three, all prepared to declare that this was the culmination of some grand prophecy of theirs. But what do I get instead?" She pauses to munch a heaping spoonful of cereal, her eyes admonitory as she holds up a finger for you to wait for her to finish chewing and swallow. "Just one guy in his dumb shirt for a late night pump and dump! I gotta say, standards have really dropped in the last..." She trails off, taking another thoughtful bite before tilting her head to one side. "...What year is it?"

The question is so mundane that it manages to knock you out of your stupor. "Um, twenty twenty."

"In the last thousand-ish years. Gods, it's been that long?" She gives you an appreciative look, licking your spoon with more aplomb than is strictly necessary. "No wonder you turned out so good."

You blink. "No wonder I...what?"

She waggles her eyebrows at you, popping off of your kitchen stool to sashay towards where you stand dumbly in the doorway to your bedroom. In all the fuss you'd forgotten that you were utterly naked, though the intense heat that's filling your groin as what must be an ocean of blood rushes down to your absurd cock reminds you nicely of that fact. Before you know it she's all but pressed up against you, the rich smell of loam from her hair filling your enraptured nostrils as she giggles and runs a finger down your twitching stomach. "Turned out so good! If it's been that long, that means there've been lots of poor dumdums who failed before you came along to rock my stony ass." She gives a snorting laugh, her hand wrapped around the base of your inexorably growing dick, then gives you a sharp look as she starts lowering to her knees. "I'm sure it's still considered polite to laugh at a girl's puns when she's working your junk, babe."

She's got one hand pressed against your muscular thigh as she coos over your massive, fully erect cock, angling it around with her other to inspect it from all sides as you keep trying to get the girl to say something that will make sense of all of this. "W-what happened to those guys?"

The girl grins knowingly, giving your throbbing prick a little flick with her tongue as her glimmering eyes blaze out to fill your stricken brain with a jumble of visions, multiple scenes playing out all at once across your mind. You see an endless parade of men in a staggering array of period garbs, from a man in an eighties Miami Vice jacket and peachy tee to a dandy in a boater hat to what looks to be a goddamn Viking explorer, all thrusting away at the same ass-like formation of rock you discovered last night. In unison they shudder and groan, falling limp from their stony lover with identical looks of post-orgasmic bliss. And then, to a man, they shrink and diminish, formerly muscular builds and masculine features fading away to androgyny as their spent penises, regardless of what size they may have started as, dwindle to pathetic little nubbins. You swallow hard as the visions clear away from your eyes, peeking down at the mysterious girl currently trying and failing to weigh one of your heavy balls in a petite hand. "So they all became..?"

The girl hums. "I'm not a doctor? But as a doctor, I believe the term is,"--She holds up the hand not currently jacking your pre-bubbling cock, holding her thumb and index finger about an inch apart as she impishly winks--"Teenie-Weenies."

"And, uh, I'm...?"

"Biiiig Daddy!" She waggles her eyebrows again and then opens her mouth wide, sticking out her tongue invitingly as she affixes you with a sultry gaze from her corona-flaring eyes and slowly moves to envelop your desperately twitching manhood. You throw out two hands, though, asking her to wait as she knits her brow together in equal parts disbelief and impatience. "Seriously? What is it?"

"It's just, um..." You flush red as the girl tilts her head again, more embarrassed than you probably should be with a girl who is definitely about to give you a very sincere blowjob. "I don't even, ah, know your name?"

"Aww~!" The girl flutters her eyelashes at that, giving you a smooch on your massive cockhead that curls your toes. "You're fucking sweet. I'm the Lady of the....hrm." She trails off at that, her pretty face thoughtful as she lightly smacks your dick against the side of her cheek. "I guess not a lake anymore. And Lady of the Woods makes me sound like some cheap magical hermit. I guess we can use one of the other names. Nimue? Vivien? No......how about Fay? Eh, that works." She shifts her grip on your penis, giving it a wag as if shaking a hand. "How do you do; I'm Fay! Taa~daa~!"

Your attempt to introduce yourself back dies with a groan as she abruptly swallows your enormous penis in a single gulp, her cheeks billowing out before sucking deeply back in as she catches your eyes with hers and begins milking you for all you're work. Your back slams against the wall, powerful legs all but giving out from underneath you as you slowly lower yourself to the floor. Fay doesn't miss a step, shifting herself with your descend without so much as a centimeter of your cock escaping the sweltering black hole she has for a mouth so that she can curl up beside you when your ass finally hits the ground, her head bouncing comfortably in your lap as your huge balls churn and pulse with the coming tidal wave.

You let out a huff of breath as you stare down at Fay as she happily works your shaft, all the information you've received over the last few minutes not a single bit of help in actually piecing together what the fuck has happened. Though...you consider again the peppily irresistibly girl slurping away at you. Guess you probably don't have to figure it all out right now, do you? You carefully slip a hand into Fay's hair, the girl giving a pleased hum around her huge mouthful of dick as you start carefully bobbing her head up and down. Your head bumps against the wall behind you as you allow yourself to just give in to the pleasure, grinning through a sigh of deep fulfillment as your cock bubbles and thrums under your new favorite person's expert ministrations.

God, even if the existence of magic hadn't been proven to you a dozen times over by now, the things Fay can do with her tongue would be more than enough to make a true believer out of you all by themselves. You feel like you could cum at any moment, but find yourself able to simply grit your teeth and hold steady the straining dam that is your impending orgasm, unwilling to give up the supernatural pleasure radiating out from your groin just yet. At length, far after any normal man would have spewed out every bit of liquid he had and his full-on soul into Fay's inescapable mouth, you decide you'd had enough and careful clear your throat. "Um, Fay, I'm gonna-"

She cuts you off with another pleased hum and another waggle of her eyebrows, which you accurately take as permission to let loose.

And so you do.

The first red-hot torrent of cum that lances directly from your cock and down Fay's greedily gulping throat is massive, there's no doubt. But it vanishes without a trace into the girl's apparently bottomless gullet and the follow-up shot is a magnitude bigger, Fay's cheeks billowing out with the overflow as even she finds herself outmatched by your superhuman output. She jerks off of your still-erupting cock with a delighted gasp, taking hold of your flailing member with both hands as she aims your third rope of cum at her chest. She laughs in manic glee as you splatter all over her pert boobs and undoubtedly ruin the button down she'd borrowed from you, her laughter melting into a low noise of appreciation and her flickering eyes heavily lidded as she bites her lip and takes in the full measure of your herculean orgasm. "Wow."

"Uh, yeah. Wow."

Fay grins again, wiping her mouth off on the back of a hand before carefully lifting up on her knees again and leaning forward, brushing your lips with the sweetest kiss you've ever had. "We're gonna have fun. I can tell these things, you know."

You can only grin, still flushed red and lips still tingling from the girl's delicate kiss. "Not the worst start to a Saturday I've ever had, I'll admit."

Fay knits her eyebrows together, tilting her head at you. "Saturday? It's Monday."

"What? No, it's..." You trail off, brow furrowed as you shake your head. "I found you on Friday night, Fay."

"Uhh, yeah, and then you slept for two days straight. You think all this,"--She waves a hand up and down your Adonis of a body--"can just happen overnight?"

"Well shit." Fay eyes you in bemusement as you struggle to your feet. "I'm late for goddamn work."

Magic might be real, but it looks like mundane problems are here to stay.