Alex Mason-Harem Hotel:Civilisation Edition

“LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! Welcome, ladies and (mostly) gentlemen, to the newest season of Harem Hotel!”

The screen switched to the view of a gigantic Greek villa, built onto an island that sat with the climate of the Aegean sea. A bright sun reflected over gorgeous waves of crystal blue and onto marble grounds. Heavy and impressive marble held up a mansion several stories tall and from the highest tower one could see a mansion as big as an estate, with great gardens, huge pools both inside and out.

Within the halls had been decorated with immense luxury so that a man from the 21st century would want for nothing within. Large paintings of erotic women from all different periods of life decorated seashell white marble halls. Vines were laid across its walls along with beautiful roses that made the halls smell like a Mediterranean garden when you weren’t smelling the sea salt from the beach outside. It was a palace built for a king.

"And as your host for this season, welcome the Great, the Fabulous, the Unbelievably Sexy, HERA!"

A great burst of golden light appeared before the entrance of the hotel; when it faded, a gorgeous woman of chestnut brown hair blew kisses left and right. Garishly red fingernails pressed to her ruby lips before receiving a pair of flowers that she had summoned herself. Golden eyes twinkled in false modesty as she basked in the spotlights.

“I know, I know, I’m amazing, and I’m so sorry to keep my fans waiting. But trust me, now your patience has been rewarded with a super secret surprise that could only come from someone of my intellect.” She leaned down and cupped her hand as if sharing a secret. “This won’t be any old season of Harem Hotel; we’re taking this season to a whole new level. This time our Master will not be just the Master of a mere harem, but entire civilisations!”

“As of this moment, hundreds of invitations are sent across dimensions to the leaders of different civilisations, enchanted so that those who read them don’t bin them as simple spam.”

The screen transformed to show hundreds of messages flying through time and space. Wherever they went, the invitations changed form for the sake of those who heard them. Some became letters, some became emails, others became magic or scientific anomalies. They went to the leaders, kings, politicians, chieftains and great wizards.

“They’ll be sent to the leaders of these nations, offering them whatever their nations most desperately need. Cures to deadly plagues, victory in impossible wars, fixes to climate change, the works. All if they’re willing to send one female champion to represent them in a ‘contest of nations’” Hera explained, spinning on the spot as she sent thousands more letters flying.

“But here’s the kicker: they won't know that this is really Harem Hotel, and even if they did, they wouldn’t know that the transformations can also apply to their civilisations and people. For example, let’s say we wanted to add a cowgirl transformation then…” The screen changed to show an entire civilisation being turned into cowgirls.

“As you can see we’re no longer hoarding these transformations to a selected few, but far and wide for millions to enjoy. And let me tell you, these countries better make sure their champions are up to the task because they’ll suffer the eliminations just as badly as our contestants.”

Hera chuckled with dark glee. "I assure you, my darlings, that this season will be one like no other. All thanks to the unrivalled genius of the Great, the Fabulous, the Unbelievably Sexy, HERA!"

Alex Mason

“Damn it!” Alex shouted, kicking a bin to the floor and sending a cat scrambling in the alley. It only served to give Alex a wounded foot that forced him to find the most comfortable piece of street to sit on.

He buried his head in his hands and with great difficulty avoided letting out a scream, and only because he didn’t want people coming over to see what all the fuss was about. He hated it when people crowded him, hated the noise and the constant suffocating reassurances. Reassurances that had gotten him nothing.

His blood was still boiling from when he’d received the response an hour ago. Denied. Denied due to a lack of experience for an apprenticeship. An apprenticeship! Wasn’t the whole point that they trained you up? And it was the third time as well.

Alex pushed his head back and stared moodily at the sky. He wasn’t an idiot; the companies weren’t just rejecting him for experience; they just didn’t like him. He just wished he knew why, but the world around him spoke in riddles, half-truths and polite euphemisms. Alex wished they’d just speak straight to him, to let him know where he was going wrong.

But then, what did it matter? It’s not like it meant much; it was all his fault anyway. He should be like everyone else, able to get motivated to search for work, not fall apart at the mere mention of job searching. They’d be eager to get to work, not get all silent and anxious at the possibility of working a mere ten-hour shift. He’d wished he’d had the guts to call them out for their lack-of-experience excuse, but he knew he was no good in an argument, so he’d just nodded politely and took it on the chin.

That's what he always did: took it on the chin. He wasn't strong enough to fight, not confident enough to argue, and he was certainly not good enough to win. It was all he could do to try, and even that was difficult for him. It was only a matter of time before he ended up on the streets, living in this alleyway. Forced to beg for money he knew he didn't deserve.

*Ring!*

*Ring!*

Alex paused. When was the last time his phone had rung? He hadn't been able to afford the phone bill for the last three months; only habit and note-taking caused him to keep it on him. Ordinarily he might have ignored it, but he found his curiosity unnaturally piqued, as if angels were whispering in his ear to check the message.

It came in the form of an email, one that would normally have been dumped in Alex’s junk folder or deleted without a second thought. But this one was different; every instinct in Alex’s body told him that he could trust it, and for whatever reason, his brain had no reason to doubt its sincerity.

‘Alex Mason, you are invited to be the Master in a contest between nations. For participating, we promise you a life of power, wealth and ease with no further request. Please reply if you’re interested.’

Alex felt his heart hammer in his chest; it knew that the offer was true. Ordinarily, he would have dismissed it as too good to be true, but for some reason beyond his understanding, Alex knew that the offer was sincere. The only question was in what form the offer would take; it seemed vague.

"Contest of nations? Master? Me?" Alex muttered, looking up and down the alleyway as if someone might find him and snatch his phone and the chance away from him. No one was around but a few cats. He swallowed, looking at the phone. By Master did it mean some kind of judge? Or was he supposed to somehow run the show? Alex had no idea how to do that.

But one word stuck out to him more than any other. It was a word that both scared and tempted him more than anything. Power.

Bullies had controlled Alex's life, spreading rumours and lies that scared him from making friends. Teachers controlled his grades; his parents had controlled his finances because Alex wasn't confident enough to handle them without an anxiety attack; and his employers held his hopes for work in their hands. Nothing in Alex's life had ever been in his control; never had he been listened to or respected.

Dare he? He always feared the responsibility before; he still did. But...but it had to be better than this.

Sweat fell down his forehead, and his fingers shook so badly that he mistyped the three letters of his response. Correcting them, he responded: 'Yes'.

For a second, nothing happened, and Alex had just enough time to curse himself for being stupid enough to believe it when he felt himself thrown back as if an invisible truck had slammed into him from behind. His eyes closed as he was thrown through some kind of vortex.

Alex found his body lurching suddenly like the brakes had been slammed on a rollercoaster. He rubbed his neck and cracked his eyes open to glance at where he was.

"Where am I?" He glanced at the world around him; he was sitting on some kind of throne, albeit one that felt as if it had been designed for a man twice his size, making him feel even smaller than usual. He was in some kind of palace, as big as a cathedral, with ancient Greek pillars as tall as buildings, intertwined with screens and spotlights.

"And here he is!" A loud, dramatic voice declared, drawing his attention. The most beautiful woman that Alex had ever seen was there, screaming into a microphone, and it was only at this moment that he realised that he was being gazed at by cameras everywhere. Only making him feel smaller than ever.

"Our Master, our champion, our very special someone! Here at the behest of yours truly, let’s give it up for ALEX MASON!”

Applause broke out, but Alex couldn't tell where from; there were no speakers, no audience and no one else there except him and this woman. Alex could feel the serpent of fear curling around his throat, choking him into silence as he realised very quickly that he was in over his head.

"Now, Alex Mason, tell us about yourself." This woman thrust the microphone into his face, but before he could even say a syllable. "Why don't you start with your childhood? How you were bullied constantly and made agoraphobic?"

"Well, I-" Alex whispered, but as soon as the microphone was given to him, it was just as quickly snatched away.

"Then you might want to tell everyone how you went to university when the pandemic hit and never made any friends there because you stayed at home to deal with housing costs?"

"I..."

"And then there's all about your younger brother Franklin; why don't you tell the crowd how he's managed to become an engineer and has a girlfriend whilst you're still struggling to get out of the house to even get a job as a cleaner? How about how jealous you are? And how insecure it makes you in yourself and your abilities?"

"It's... well, Frank's been nothing but-"

"How about you tell the audience you're paralysed by fear now that your parents have retired? Don't you believe that any day now they'll cut you off and force you to live on the streets? Aren't you ashamed thinking that you've been nothing but a leech all your life due to your neurodivergence and struggles to get work or friends?"

"I..." Alex could feel a lump forming in his throat again; he pressed his back further into the chair even as this strange, impossibly beautiful woman continued to move ever closer to him. Enough for her immense chest to press against his knees. He forced himself to focus on a particular bit of the wall and tried with all his might to keep his gaze fixed on it rather than risk objectifying this poor woman.

“Oh dear, you seem distracted.” The woman said, squeezing her tits with her hands and grinning widely. “You know, the tits of the great, the fabulous and unbelievably sexy Hera are quite famous, and I, for one, would consider it quite an insult if you didn’t appreciate them.”

“Huh? Who?” Alex mumbled, but before he could say another word, he found his eyes being dragged painfully to her tits.

“These tits, darling. These are the tits that belong to the great, the fantastic and the unbelievably Hera, and I expect you to appreciate them properly.” Hera had started to snarl, but as soon as Alex’s gaze was forced to glance at her cleavage, the magic forcibly directing his gaze had disappeared, and so too had the compulsion in his eyes. He quickly rubbed them, but Hera had already disappeared.

What was that? Fear started to trickle down his skull like icy water; Alex could feel his body shiver. It was dawning on him that he needed to get out of here. But there were no entrances or exits that he could see, and even if he got out of the room he didn’t even know where he was.

Oh God, how did he get here?

“Now before we tell you all the rules of this season, let’s call in all our champions who will be competing for our Master’s favour-“ Wait, what did she say? “And let’s not forget that these lucky ladies won't be just representing themselves but their entire civilisations, who will all be taking part for better and for worse, but for our Master definitely for the better."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Alex had meant it as a shout, but he was so scared that it had emerged as a whisper. "I...I thought I was just a host or a judge"

Hera threw her head back in laughter. "Oh, our Master is such a jokester; there's a sneaky surprise upcoming, but so I don't need to repeat myself, I'll wait until the contestants have arrived to share it."

"But-" A finger was pressed to Alex's lips before he could say another word.

"Ah, ah, I know you're excited, but let's give your contestants some time to shine." Hera purred, grinning wickedly. Then she grabbed her mic with both hands and turned to the camera.

“Now representing the Kingdoms of Laena, a world of elves, magic, dwarves, and all the fantasy tropes you can imagine and this time there won’t be any Eagles to fix all of the problems! Once a peaceful land before its war against the Empire of Mala and its evil Queen Orbita, we have selected one paladin who stands out among the rest to be Laena’s champion. GIVE IT UP FOR ASHARA!”