Adventure Time

“It’s like an artifact of something,” you say, but the connection is really bad. You’re on the plane, talking to Riley.

“Where are you going?”

“Lithuania.”

“What’s a Lithuania?”

You roll your eyes.

“You’re going with Lara?” Riley asks worriedly. “Just you two?”

You bristle. “What’s wrong with that?”

“It just sounds dangerous.”

You look at your phone, unsure what to think. Dangerous in a trust way? Or is Riley just worried about your safety? Either way, like… she just ran off herself, so she doesn’t get to bother you about this. If you want to go search for an artifact or treasure and stuff, that’s your business. You’re a person.

Well… just like she is too, and it’s OK for her do career stuff like what she’s doing right now. You open your mouth, but the call has dropped.

“Shit,” you say, irked.

Beside you, Lara is snoring quietly in her seat. You’re tired of planes, but you committed to doing this. Lara just sleeps. She’s very… practiced at travelling. You have to admit… you never noticed in the past how much confidence there was behind her sort of easy, relaxed style. Now you’ve seen the other side of her too, the sweaty, lusty part of her. She’s playful, but intense.

You land in Lithuania, which is actually super pretty! You were expecting a hotel or something, but it’s pretty much straight into a rental jeep and then you’re driving off into the countryside, toward the mountains. Lara does the driving.

You have your phone, but no signal. You aren’t going to get to finish that conversation with Riley just yet.

“How long does this take?” you ask, looking at Riley’s photo in your contacts.

“What? How long does the adventure take? Who knows? It’s different every time. Few days, few weeks.” Lara shrugs, keeping her eyes on the road. There isn’t much traffic out here. Does Lithuania like… not have people?

“If you’re bored, there’s a storybook in my bag. It’s about Milda.”

“Milda,” you say. Right. That’s the goddess that you’re looking for. “OK.” You rummage through her bag and take out the book. It doesn’t look like a book for kids. It’s full of explicit pictures of this goddess, who is a tall, pale, sexy brunette. You turn the pages, watching her masturbate as she watches people have sex, then apparently seduces the people she just watched. She hooks up with men and women, kings and everybody else. Monsters. Yikes.

“She seems fun,” you say. “Reminds me of you.”

“No cock,” Lara notes.

“Yeah, pity,” you say.

“Temple should be up there somewhere,” Lara says, pointing through the windshield at the snowy mountains ahead. It looks cold.

“Says here that Milda’s true love was a peasant girl that tidied up a lady’s house,” you say. “An evil lady.” You see the true love: a little brunette, and the evil lady: a hung redhead. “Hmm,” you say. “Doesn’t she look like me?”

“Who?”

“This girl.” You show her.

Lara frowns. “No. She’s got bigger tits than you.”

“Shut up. And what about her? Doesn’t she look like Lara?” You tap on the picture.

“Rubbish,” Lara says. “Riley’s not that big.”

You roll your eyes… but then you look back at the book. It’s weird, that’s all.

“Almost there,” Lara tells you.