Admin Portal

Looking up at the blue sky, you wonder if you’ll be able to save any part of your relationship with Jayne. You have to think she’ll at least talk to you cordially again, right? She can’t hold some insane magic program against you?

As you begin walking aimlessly down Bathurst you realize you’re on autopilot and going towards Starbucks. Like you would normally around this time, but with Jayne, talking about the dumb office stuff that annoys you both or laughing at how whoever keeps tagging the litter bin in front of Dollarama has gotten so much better at drawing penises.

You don’t want a coffee now. You stop dead on the sidewalk, causing some mutters from the pedestrians **** to quickly step around you by you don’t care.

Jayne wanted to be left alone. That’s fine, that was totally understandable. But you did a shit job of explaining what was happening. Granted, you can’t explain it really, but you can at least make sure she knows exactly what it is you are in the dark about too.

Turning around, you start walking quickly towards BHC. In less than 10 minutes, you’re back at the rear stairwell next to Jayne’s office and then up to the third floor. As you approach, you see her door is open, maybe a sign she’s not mad at you anymore?

“Jayne?” You ask hopefully as you enter. She’s not at her desk. Shit. With a sigh, you continue on to your office.

She’s standing at the server rack, clearly concentrating hard on what she’s reading. She must have circumvented your clever “turning the monitor off” security system.

You can’t help but look at her. She’s facing the wall, her left profile to you in the doorway. You notice she’s wearing the light gray pants you like so much, they are basically painted on her long legs. Her long sleeve black blouse also flatters her athletic build, and while she has small breasts you still enjoy the way her blouse demonstrates how firm and high they sit. You know from some random comments she’s made that she hates how round her face is, that it doesn’t seem to match her slim body. And that she’s always fighting her hair, trying to get the straight, fine, locks to sit more stylishly.

But you realize you’ve considered her beautiful for a while now. Her dry wit, her razor sharp mind, the way she bites her lower lip in one particular way when she’s concentrating. Even the way she cleans her glasses, snapping out a cleaning cloth and rubbing each lens with the same economical movement, is adorable. You’re not going to just let her slip away. She’s your best friend, even if you’re not hers, and you resolve to at least fix that part of your relationship if nothing else.

“Jayne,” you say. Obviously she knows you’re standing there, she would have heard you call her name in her empty office. But she waits another second before finally turning her head to face you.

“You... you didn’t do this,” she says, gesturing at the monitor. Her lips are set in a grim line, and her forehead is creased with concentration or irritation. But she’s talking to you at least.

“No I didn’t. I just turned it on, the program and whatever it does... I had nothing to do with it. I just ran the default setup wizard, and then I added Karissa’s name to see if it would work, like if it would add her to the list. It did obviously. I didn’t even know she was 19 years old!”

Jayne frowns but just says, “Hmm.”

You walk into the room and stand closer to her. “I’m really sorry to spring this on you Jayne. I have no idea what’s going on. But the last thing in the world I wanted to do was upset you but I felt I had to show it to you. I’m just so damn sorry, I’d hate for this weirdness to ruin our friendship.”

With a sigh, Jayne looks at you again, “I get it. I suppose I’m glad you showed me, and I am sorry I kind of yelled at you. I was just shocked. And at the, you know, scores.”

Now that you’re close enough, you look at the screen. She’s on the tutorial and you make a small grunt of surprise. “Damn Zork. I should have known you’d be comfortable enough with the command line to poke around.”

“Look, I read this tutorial but I don’t really believe it all.”

“Neither do I!” you hasten to say.

“But, there are some things that seem, well, convincing. I tried to look at the PoI screen but it said I couldn’t because I wasn’t an administrator. But how would it know I wasn’t? It didn’t ask for a password, it just said I wasn’t one.” Jayne shakes her head in annoyance.

“Huh. I’ve never seen that,” you reply, although it makes sense you wouldn’t see a screen locking you out of some features if you are the administrator, “but it’s weird that there are some sections you can’t see. I mean, why do it like that, the normal thing to do would be to just say right from the start you need to be an admin. Why let you dig around in the tutorial and learn about it?”

With a dry snort, Jayne replies, “Yeah you can think about the ways this insane magic program could be more user friendly and logical, I’m going to focus on it being an insane magical program thanks.”

Letting out a deep breath, you can feel your stress reducing the more Jayne interacts with you, even if she’s still not looking at you that much. You’re just about to suggest you read through the tutorial together when Jayne looks past you to the doorway, causing you to turn and look too.

“Oh hi!” Mati is drifting down the hall, coincidentally looking at you two as she does the nosy-office slow walk past your door. “Just stretching my legs!”

With that politely insincere smile that all women can bust out on the other women they work with, Jayne gives a nod and a small wave. As soon as Mati turns and continues down the hall towards the elevators, Jayne rolls her eyes at you and quietly says, “Ugh I am sorry if she heard me earlier, that might create even more office gossip about you.”

“More gossip?” you ask.

Impatiently waving her hand, Jayne says, “You are a reasonably attractive single guy in an office full of women. Obviously you’re a subject of discussion, although lately they stop when I’m around.” She pauses as she realizes the implication of the last sentence, then quickly says “But never mind, I want you to make me an administrator.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

“Why? Why do you think? I want to know if there are secret parts of this craziness. And, just in case it can actually do any of the crazy things it says it can, I want to be able to make sure it’s not doing anything to me.”

“Oh, yeah, of course!” You shake your head and chuckle, “Sorry I was just stuck on ‘reasonably attractive’ there. But you’re right I’ll add you as an admin.” Jayne takes a step to her side so you can stand in front of the keyboard.

“I have an idea of what to do when I’m an admin,” she says and you just nod again like an idiot, thrilled to go along with anything she says.

Exiting the tutorial Jayne had been looking at, you find yourself at the main menu again. You hit 3 for the Admin Portal.

===ADMIN PORTAL===

{
Common Commands:
// full scan
// manual add
// dormant
// disable
// reset
//administrator
// help (show TUTORIAL)
}

INPUT COMMAND: _
PRESS [x] TO EXIT

You simply type:

_administrator help

{
Common Admin Commands
//set admin <lastname, firstname>
//disable admin <lastname, firstname>
//password enable/disable
//summary frequency (all, daily, weekly, monthly)
//allow enhanced (enables special admin features, *BETA!*)
//networking (default OFF, only enable during emergency!)
//help (show this sub tutorial)
}

INPUT COMMAND: _
PRESS [x] TO EXIT

Once again, you pause. “There is something so… kludgy about this program,” you say, “and not just the fact it’s clearly so old. The way the menus and commands are split up, it seems illogical and I don’t think that’s how they programed stuff back then. It feels more like it’s two or more different systems cobbled together, and that’s why it’s menu based but still requires specific commands. Also, the way they broke the tutorial into separate chunks and have admin commands inside other admin modules.”

Jayne shrugs, “Maybe whoever wrote it is just lazy. Stop stalling Zach, add me already. I bet if I tried typing it would say I’m not an administrator, even though you’re standing right beside me.”

That would actually be an interesting test, but Jayne is antsy to get elevated into the admin role of TAM and you see no reason to dawdle any more.

_set admin hall, jayne

===ADD ADMIN SUCCESSFUL!===
===NOTE: Multiple Admins can be set but only one PoI list can exist!===

“Well, I guess that’s it?” You look at Jayne. She looks back, and you can tell she’s wondering if she feels different. Wow, this nonsense has both of you questioning reality already.

With a small smile Jayne nods and says, “Thanks Zach. Uh, when I was reading the tutorial it said something about a ‘dormant’ state, where TAM no longer affects you directly? I want to put myself dormant.”

With an excited snap of the fingers, you say, “Great idea! Here, you take the wheel, it’ll be a good test to see if you can make changes now.” And so you let her stand at the keyboard, watching over her shoulder. You can smell some sort of hair care product, it’s a very nice and subtle floral scent. Focus!

Taking her time, Jayne scrolls up to see the list of commands again and then enters:

_dormant hall, jayne

There is a confirmation asking is she is sure, and she hits Y.

===ADD DORMANT SUCCESSFUL!===

“Zach, I want to try something but it’s up to you,” Jayne says slowly. You nod and she continues, “I want to add you to the Person of Interest list.”

Uh, shit. Well, damn. Er… fuck you can’t think of a reason to not. “I suppose so…” you say, extremely and obviously ****. But Jayne doesn’t care, and she confidently adds you to the PoI list.

_ add poi pritchard, zachary

===ADD PoI SUCCESSFUL!===
===UPDATED SUMMARY===

PERSON OF INTEREST (Primary)(Admin)(Dormant):
Hall, Jayne (AGE 29, SEX F)
AFFECTION SCORE: 45 (was: 39)
LOVE SCORE: 15 (was:10)
LUST SCORE: 1

PERSON OF INTEREST (New!)(Admin):
Pritchard, Zachary (AGE 29, SEX M)
AFFECTION SCORE: 74
LOVE SCORE: 29
LUST SCORE: 46

Holy shit this is actually somehow even more horribly embarrassing than you would have thought. Turns out having a computer tell your crush exactly what you think about her on a 100 point scale is pretty cringe-inducing! You turn your head slightly, but Jayne is facing the monitor without reacting at all. You are actually mortified, and no one speaks for a minute. Finally, nodding, Jayne clears her throat and says, “Do you want to be made dormant too? Just in case this is not all a huge dumb hoax?” She keeps her fingers poised over the keyboard and politely doesn’t look at you. You mumble something that sounds like agreement, and so Jayne makes your status dormant as well.

“So, TAM won’t affect us anymore with each other now, apparently except for whatever ‘Traits’ are, but that should give us some time to figure out what’s going on,” now that she’s done, Jayne is all business and pointedly ignores the screen, looking at you with a neutral expression.

Eager to move on, you say, “Great thinking. I found a few little things we can investigate, like the name of the company that made it might be ‘Panopticon’, and there was a note on the box some of the peripherals were in but that might be nothing. At least it’s a place to start.”

“Ok, we can begin there, maybe after lunch. Look Zach, I have to go, I’m going to be late for a meeting, but I am sorry about earlier. I really do appreciate you showing me this and I know it’s kind of embarrassing. But I am your friend and I want to stay that, for sure.” She looks so serious now you actually stand up a little straighter.

“Of course Jayne, whatever you say. If you want to just stay friends I completely understand,” you say, trying to stop your face from blushing. Or at least blushing more than it already is. Your mouth feels dry but Jayne’s somber look tells you all you need to know. Whatever flirty, romantic feelings you had for your friend will just have to wither and die. She is far too important to you to risk her friendship, and you completely understand how she would be weirded out by everything. She might even doubt the feelings you’re sure she felt for you were real.

Jayne purses her lips briefly, and she is about to speak when she stops herself and pauses. Instead, she holds out her hand and slowly says, “Yes, I guess it’s for the best, that way. Just friends, Zach?”

Lifting your hand you give her a nice, cordial shake. “You got it Jayne. Just friends.” You try very hard to give a small, confident smile, and Jayne leaves your office to head to her meeting while you go to your desk to stare blankly at your emails.

You can’t help but feel there was a test just now and you both failed.