Acting Like Gay Boyfriends in Public

"Just because we act like boyfriends in public doesn't mean that I'm gay. I'm just as straight as you," Robbie says.

"What?" you ask, stunned.

"I know, I know," he says. "I put on such a good act that it seems like I might really be into you. But I'm not. You don't have anything to worry about. I know how you have a distaste for homosexual relations, though I'm sure you're the only straight man I know who does, but believe me, I'm only doing all of this for show. We're both still in the closet and I don't want my family or the people at my job to find out what we really are. At least for now. So, are we good? You don't have a problem continuing this ruse, do you? I mean, you can still see Rebecca in secret, as usual. I know she's been trying to get you to come out, to go to pride parades and everything, but just remember that if you do, we won't be able to be pretend boyfriends anymore. I mean, I hate to do this, but I really need you to ignore her advice and keep the ruse going. The risk is just too high that someone might spot you and realize that you're straight. I can't take that chance, man."

You just stare at him, still in shock. Okay, yeah, he's straight. That's what you want to hear. But pretending to be gay in public? What the fuck? No way are you going to be doing that. No matter how long you two have been friends.