Act of God - Kristen

(This story continues from Act of God - Jenna.)

"Listen," said Kristen. "Do I really have to do this?"

"You said you wanted to be taken seriously as an actress," said Joe. "This is the kind of thing serious actresses do."

"I'm not sure about that," said Kristen. "This doesn't seem like the kind of thing serious actresses do."

"Of course it is. There's no better way to demonstrate your range as a performer."

"But it's a reality TV show."

"Everyone knows those are fake anyway. People will love it."

"Can't I just go back to doing teen vampire romances?"

"No. This is the only way to get the public to take you seriously. Now drop your robe."

Kristen sighed, squared her shoulders and faced the camera. "Hi," she said to the world. "I'm Kristen Stewart. Welcome to my new show, Kristen Stewart Humiliates Herself. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yep."

"But it's going out live and uncensored!"

"That's the idea."

Kristen bit her lip.

"Okay," she muttered. "Hello, everyone. I know you're all still mad at me for my role in those awful Twilight movies. So I've decided to pay my debt to society by publicly humiliating myself every day on live TV."

There was a round of applause from the studio audience as she shrugged off her bathrobe and stood in the spotlight, before all the rolling cameras, totally nude. Quickly, she clasped her hands across her body, blushing brightly as the bright lights illuminated every inch of her skin. "Hello, everyone!" she shouted. "I'm a silly little girl with no clothes on and you should never take me seriously, ever!"

"Excellent," said Joe, picking up a bucket of cold custard. "This is exactly what you should to do get people to take you seriously. Now, get down on your knees and put your hands behind your head."

"I really don't want to!"

"I know."

Kristen got down on her knees and put her hands behind her head. Joe dumped the bucket of custard all over her, making sure to cover her small breasts and the curly thatch between her legs. It matted her hair and trickled down over her blushing face, making her look completely ridiculous. Joe grinned.

"Now," he said, "we have special guest stars Anna Kendrick and Katy Perry, here to lick it all off."