Act of God - Jenna.

(This story continues from Act of God - Demi.)

"Hi, Clara," said Joe, walking across the floor of the crowded convention centre to the booth where Jenna Coleman was taking pictures with fans. "I love your show."

"Clara?" said Jenna. "You're not one of those dirty little fanboys, are you? I hate to tell you this, but Doctor Who isn't real. I'm not Clara Oswald. I'm Jenna Coleman, the actress. Please leave me alone now."

"Pretty sure you're Clara," said Joe. "And Doctor Who must be real. Otherwise, how could I have this Dalek defabricator ray?"

"What the hell is a Dalek defabricator ray? Is that from one of the novels?"

Joe zapped her.

"Eeek!" said Jenna. "Where are my pants?"

"I defabricated them."

"Give them back right now."

"Can't. They've been defabricated."

Jenna looked down at herself. She was wearing a tight black wool sweater, a skimpy red thong, and shoes. She looked up at Joe, an evil expression in her eyes. He was holding another gadget, which he promptly zapped her with.

"That was a Cyberman no-running-away ray," he said. "Try to run away."

"I... I can't!"

"I have you now, Clara. I'm an evil time-travelling alien, and I want all the Doctor's secrets. If you don't give them to me I'll zap all your clothes off and make you stand here while everyone takes your picture."

"That doesn't make any sense." Jenna was trying to tug her sweater down over her thong, pouting, a blush beginning to burn in her pretty cheeks. "Everyone! Stop taking pictures! This isn't part of the... hey, where's my sweater?"

"I zapped it off. Now I'm going to leave you here for ten to fifteen minutes while everyone takes pictures of you in your underwear."

"You can't do that!"

"Sure I can."

Ten to fifteen minutes passed. They were extremely embarrassing for Jenna, and extremely enjoyable for Joe. Once he'd judged it was time, he raised the defabricator and said "Admit you're Clara Oswald."

"I'm Jenna Coleman! I'm an actress! You have to give me my clothes back right now, or you'll be in trouble!"

"Incorrect. This cheap disguise does not fool me for a second. As punishment for your mendacity, I will remove your underwear."

"What? No, I... eeek! Eek eek eeeeeek!"

"You are nude, and hot with shame. This violates a taboo in your culture. You will remain this way until you tell me the Doctor's secrets."

"Everyone, you have to stop taking pictures! Please! Just because I'm a beautiful famous actress that you all idolise, and I'm stuck here naked in front of all of you, doesn't mean you have to take pictures! Eek! Stop!"

"Your torment will continue until you confess the secrets, or until the Doctor rescues you. But that could never happen."

Suddenly, a blue police box materialised in the convention centre, and the Doctor stepped out. "Clara," he said. "You've lost all your clothes again. How come this always happens on our adventures?"

"Um... does it?"

"Sure it does." With a wave of his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor released Jenna from her inability to run away. Immediately she squealed, clutched her hands to her breasts and ran for the police box. The Doctor followed her inside.

"Well, Clara," he said. "Are you ready to go on another adventure?"

"But I'm not Clara. I'm Jenna. May I please, please, please have some clothes?"

"Sorry. Space-time, you know. But we can certainly go on an adventure. I thought we might head to the Planet of Public Speaking."

"The... the what?"

"Oh, yes. We're going to have many, many adventures. And I bet you're going to accidentally lose your clothes in just about all of them. That seems to be how it works."

"But I'm not even... well... I mean, if you're the Doctor..."

"Right. So you must be."

"But do I really have to lose my clothes on all the adventures? I don't want to!"

"Sorry, Clara. That's just how it works. Off we go!"

And they went off to have adventures. And Clara lost her clothes in all of them.