About Last Night

You quickly realise you are alone in the bed. Where is Susannah? What the fuck have you done with her? She could literally be anywhere or anything with the way that fucking ring works.

What scares you the most is you haven't managed to reverse a single wish yet. You think it might require specific wording that you can't remember, plus you have to know exactly what the wish had been to ask for it to be undone -that's pretty fucking difficult with the ones from last night that you have no memory whatsoever of making . Wishing for the direct opposite of something - e.g "Freya and Lily like wearing clothes" - doesn't seem to be allowed as a workaround either. You could be pretty fucked here.

You wish to remember your forgotten wishes - it doesn't work. You wish for a copy of the instructions - that doesn't work either. It's like the fucking ring is rigged against you.

You are about to fly into a blind panic when the bedroom door opens and Susannah enters, wrapped in one very expensive looking towel and patting her wet hair with another, smaller one. You have never been so pleased to see her.

"I decided to check out one of the other bathrooms since we've got, like, five of them" she tells you quite casually, oblivious to the brief freak out her decision to switch bathing locations from your en suite this morning had caused you "The bath I was in had a whirlpool. It could easily fit two people, if you wanted to join me in it later?"

She drops her towel. Everything is exactly how it should be, no noticeable changes.

You are almost surprised she doesn't have giant porn star tits now. Maybe slightly disappointed? No, you've always loved your girlfriend's boobs. They're beautiful, and natural too.

She comes and sits next to you on the bed without dressing even as far as her underwear. You know what is coming next, roughly at least. She is going to ask you to agree to something. Seeking your approval while naked is a power move Susannah used to pull many times back in the day to ensure your cooperation. Infuriatingly, you can't remember it ever not working. You climb out of bed to give yourself a fighting chance of resistance, but she carries on unperturbed.

"So you do you remember what we were discussing last night?"

You barely remember there being a last night.

"Refresh my memory"

"You know, about my new power."

What? You've given her a fucking power? What were you thinking? If anyone should have a power it should be you! Shit, this isn't going to be good.

"Refresh my memory some more."

"Wow, you really were out of it weren't you?" she giggles cutely as she climbs off the bed, walks over and wraps her naked body around yours "I discovered I have a special power to seduce any woman I want into having a threesome with us."

Seriously?! That's the kind of thing you make happen when you're blind drunk and have near limitless magical powers? You knew you should have laid off the tequila - it never agrees with you.

If you are completely honest with yourself that was a pretty fucking cool wish. But also entirely morally reprehensible, obviously. And, as much as you love Susannah, you really don't trust this current sex crazed version of her to use her new power responsibly - if any power to compel people into a threesome can ever be used responsibly, that is.

Hang on, though. How does she know this new gift of hers even works? Surely no amount of alcohol could make you forget if you and your girlfriend had indulged in a threesome last night. Could it?

"So did we..."

"No, you were way too wasted for that." she confirms "But I know my new ability is legit, because I've already turned all the other girls in the house into Rorysexuals."

Do you even want to know?

You figure you need to.

"What in God's name is a Rorysexual?"

"It's what I've discovered my sexuality is. All it means is I'm only attracted to you and women you would enjoy seeing me fuck. Primarily you though, obviously. Anyway, we agreed it would be fun to make the others that way too."

Rorysexual? You never realised you became such an ego maniacal monster when you hit the booze.

"So anyway..." Now all that has been explained, Susannah can try and sweet talk you into whatever her original request was going to be "since we still have six spare bedrooms, I was thinking you and I can agree on some cute girls we both like to bring here to live with us. Just think about it - we could have a dozen different options for sexy girls to fuck together without even having to leave the house! Doesn't that sound hot? Our sex life will have gone from nought a million in a matter of days."

Weirdly, the thing that instantly hits you from that splurge of unexpected information is that the maths seems off.

"Six spare bedrooms?"

"Yeah, I know it sounds like a lot, but we'll need to be quite selective as they will fill up quick. What about my friend Jodie for one of them? I know you've always fancied her, even if you pretend you don't, and she would be nice company for me in between all of the shagging."

"There should be eight spare bedrooms."

"Aww, isn't six more women enough for you?" Susannah jokingly speaks in the patronising tone of a mother placating a particularly spoilt child as she strokes your cheek "We could always get people to double up, the rooms are certainly big enough."

"It's not that, Suze. I just think you've got your numbers wrong. This is a twelve bedroom house. Freya and Lily are sharing, you and me are obviously sharing. That only takes up four rooms?"

"Have you been taking the stupid pills again, Rory?" Your girlfriend massages your balls delicately to let you know she is only teasing "There are eight of us, so even if there are two pairs that still takes up six rooms."

"Eight?" No, that doesn't sound right "There's the two of us, Freya, Lily, Allegra and Amelia."

"Yes, plus Carmen and Savannah."

Who the fuck are Carmen and Savannah?

"Don't tell me you were too smashed to remember them moving in last night? You were pretty excited about it at the time."

"Okay, first things first. Who is Carmen?"

"How could you forget her? She's your friend, Rory! You know, the super sexy Italian American chick from Noo Yoik!"

A chill runs down your spine, and not just from your girlfriends terrible attempt at pulling off a New York accent. Carmen Fiore isn't your friend. She is an OnlyFans girl whose highly explicit content turned into something of an unhealthy obsession for you during your dry spell with Susannah. It makes total sense that a drunken idiot version of yourself, one that had no concept of relationship consequences, would summon her to your fuck mansion. You doubt Susannah knows what Carmen does for a living yet, or how much of the rent arrears you argued over had been spent on unlocking videos of her pleasuring herself with a an eight inch vibrator.

Probably best to move the conversation on from that one, then. You don't even have any favourite adult entertainers with the other girl's name, so you are intrigued to know what the hell happened there.

"Who is Savannah?"

"Rory, I know you were more than a little out of it last night, but I'm not going to pretend it doesn't hurt that you don't remember at all. Savannah showing up out of the blue like that was a major life event for me,"

You can do nothing but stare back blankly as your girlfriend folds her arms and glares disapprovingly at you.

"Savannah is my long lost twin."