A wrestling match?

Well, before you can get very far, your attention is grabbed by a young man shouting out to the people walking along the street.

"CAN ANYBODY HERE FIGHT?"

You can't.

"I can!" you say excitedly, walking through the crowds to the man to stand in front of him, dopey grin on your face as you rock back and forth on your feet. Hey, dress for the job you want, right?

"Oh thank god!" The young man exclaims "I've got a match running in a few minutes but one of my girls ran out on me last minute. Can you help me out here? You'll get $100 up front, and an extra $450 if you win."

Hey, woah! Money AND you get to actually try fighting in a secure, safe, private location? Of course you agree! What could go wrong?

A lot. A lot could go wrong. Unfortunately, you don't realise this until you're standing in your corner of the ring, wearing an all-too-skimpy outfit that's essentially just pink panties, a pink sports bra, a pink domino mask held to your head by cheap strings that go over your ears and join at the back, and an oversized pair of pink boxing gloves. Apart from the gloves and mask, it's all way too small and tight for you. Whoever was supposed to fight today had way less heft to their womanly areas, so you're left constantly adjusting and readjusting the fabrics. And what's with this crowd? You can't really see much more than silhouettes because of the bright lights, but with all the noise they're making while your opponent is introduced, there has to be tens of them! Maybe even dozens! Baker's dozens! You would find out later, when getting your pay, that the live audience for the fight consisted of over two thousand -- and the fight was being broadcast across the entire city! But for now, all you could do was shield your eyes with one of the way too big boxing gloves as a faint sweat picked up over your body's exposed skin from the glaring lights. Seriously, somebody should turn those down. And is your arm really getting tired just from holding up this boxing glove?

You're shocked out of your thoughts, and nearly knocked to the ground, as they audience picks up into a roar as your opponent, "The B-Cup Bombardier", is announced. She's wearing a purple bikini, and her arms and stomach are really really toned. Like, woah. It's inspiring you to start actually carrying things. As she turns and raises her arms to the crowd, making them redouble their cheers, you notice the white lettering across the back of her bikini bottom. Let's see, what's that say, it looks like...

ARE YOU ABOUT TO FIGHT THE CHAMPION?!