You are nearing the end of the night and you are starting to feel a little relief that you escaped the night unscathed. All the kinds are excuses to go play. That's when Kelsi suddenly stands up and tells everyone that she has an announcement to make.
"I just wanted everyone to know that in about seven months, Uncle Jason and I will be welcoming a new baby!"
You are taking a drink at the time and get choked.
"That's not fucking funny!" Derek said.
"I know, it's wonderful news, I can't wait to be a mommy!" Kelsi said as she holds up a pregnancy test.
All eyes in the room turn to you. Kelsi's mother is crying. Derek looks like he is about to come beat your ass. You glance towards Kelly, who suddenly slaps you hard across the face.
"What the fuck?" you wife asks. "Jason...what is this all about?"
"I...uh..." you stammer.
As you try to think of an answer, Kelsi has walked around the table and wrapped her arms around you from behind. She leans down to kiss you and instinctively you turn to meet her lips.
"Oh fuck no!" Kelly snapped. "You really are fucking this stupid slut?"
"You have no idea how good he has been fucking me, Aunt Kelly," Kelsi said.
Kelly grabbed Kelsi by the hair and stood up to take a swing at her, but you throw yourself between them. You're just in time and wife punches you hard in the face. Next she drives a knee hard into your crotch, causing you to double over in searing pain. While you're struggling to breath, she knees you three more times in your lone testicle and you fall to the floor.
For a moment your vision swims, and then either from the pain or the lack of oxygen, you black out.
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