A perfect fit for the show

“If this is what winning a bet gets me, I should start gambling more”, Hephaistos says on the way down to the forge.

“Yeah, yeah, you can use me as bait for one of your traps, but don’t catch me this time. Getting just Ares will have to suffice” Aphrodite responds, annoyed at her relative's excitement. “And you have to actually explain to me how it works.”

“Fine, fine, my most hated wife. It is really quite simple though. This ring here is magically enchanted to catch anyone trying to steal it. Once someone attempts a theft, they will be trapped inside of a solid metal room with no way to open it, unless the person vocally apologizes for trying to steal it. You will lure Ares down here and show him the ring you “found”. In his vanity, Ares won’t be able to resist grabbing it. At that point he will be trapped until he reflects enough to apologize, which will give me some quiet and will at least temporarily dampen the affair you two are having.”

“Thank you dear husband", she says sarcastically, " I guess the only thing left to do is to disarm it”

Aphrodite reaches out for the contraption. Before Hephaistos can intervene, metal walls extends from the magical device and envelop her fully. She can hear banging on the outside, but without a light source the inside is dark. Then suddenly the parts of the wall begin glowing orange as if hot. She can hear the banging getting quieter and quieter as the spots arrange themselves into shapes and eventually letters. Then these letters form the word ἀγάπη, before suddenly disappearing.

“Introducing Aphrodite!” In the Amphitheatre Chris sees a metal square appearing. Then the walls of the square fall down revealing the goddess. Her appearance does not disappoint, generous curves, perfectly smooth skin, long blonde hair that reaches down to her ass, a waist that is small without looking malnourished. She is wearing nothing, but a flowing Toga. Her glowing pink eyes quickly dart across the room. Despite the unfamiliar situation her walk exudes unbridled confidence. “And what is this?”

“This is Harem Hotel”, the man answers, “Where you will face of against five other contestants to earn the favour of this season’s master and a comfortable spot in his harem.”

Aphrodite smiles in response. “Well, this is getting more interesting. Of course by casting me the result is a forgone conclusion, but there seems to be decent competition for second. That and Athena is also here I see.”

Finally Athena manages to say something. “You arrogant whore. You think just because your domain is nothing, but satisfying base desires you’ll win? I will end this farce of a contest before you can win anything. I will…” her voice cuts out in the middle of the sentence.

“That’s enough of her for now”, Homer says, “why don’t you introduce yourself to the audience, Aphrodite?”

“Audience? This is getting better and better. Well for those of you ignorant enough to not know me, I am Aphrodite, Goddess of love, sex and relationships. So if you’ve hooked up with someone hot recently that was me. And if you haven’t, maybe start praying to me.” She can feel a small pressure in her mind. “And since I feel someone wants to know about my sexlife: the answer is yes and a lot.”

“Well, that is great starting position, why don’t you sit down by the others, there are two more people; we have to introduce before we can start this season properly”

Aphrodite walks over, before taking in the group sitting in front of her. “I know three of you, so that means you have to be the master.” She bends over showing off her cleavage to Chris. “So, tell me, what did you do to earn your spot here? Slain any great beasts lately.”

Chris is shrinking back into his seat. “I’m sorry Lady Aphrodite, but I had nothing to do with this. I also can’t think of anything that would have earned me this great honour. To be honest, I’m not even sure I want this.”

“Not sure you want this? Are you calling me undesirable?”

“N-No, Lady Aphrodite. It’s just…with Athena here… and the other two don’t want to be here either and I…”

“Relax, no mortal can resist me. I get why you would rather avoid my family, though. I myself am not particularly fond of the old owl next to you. However, it seems our dear host has her under control. And get yourself some confidence. Your title is master, you can’t let yourself be tossed around by your own harem.”

Aphrodite laughs and none too gently pushes Athena to the side before sitting down in her spot. Chris is still red in the face and shivering, looks for the reaction of the scorned goddess, but Athena still seems to be heavily restricted by whatever control Homer has over the contestants. “I’d appreciate if you could leaver her alone for now. With every instance of her getting annoyed my chances of getting out of here alive shrink. Please Lady Aphrodite?”

The other two mortals’ faces betray similar concern, and they slide away from the two feuding goddesses. Aphrodite for her part just laughs. “Sweetheart, she cannot hurt you and neither can I. Trust me, I tried the second I got here. I fear we are bound to you until this magic expires.”

“Oh… I’m sorry, Lady Aphrodite.”

“Don’t be, the magic will end once you die and in the grand scheme of things one human lifespan isn’t that long and this prison is not as unpleasant as some of the others I have been in. Don’t expect my relative to be as relaxed about it though; She has always had problems accepting authority.”

“What you’re saying is that for the rest of my life I will have to goddesses trying to kill me, only being stopped by magic that I cannot control.”

“Exactly, cheer up, darling. You’re getting a harem….”

“I don’t want a Harem, honestly I would have taken an interview with Sokrates over this?”

“Sokrates? The annoying one? Maybe you and Athena will get along after all.”

“Hopefully. I don’t want her to be mad at me forever. That seems unpleasant.”

“That was not….Ah fuck it, you’ll do fine, I’ll have my fun for a few years, and Athena will just have to manage.”

Homer interrupts the conversation with a snip of his fingers. “Though I appreciate that the master has started getting over his irrational fear of his own concubines, we have a schedule to keep. So if all if you could focus back on the arrival area.” He clears his throat. “ Harem Hotel is nothing if not a big celebration. And our next contestant was never one to miss a proper party, so we have graciously invited him to this one as well. Please welcome……”