A message from Gaia

Welcome to the Gaia Castle Building Interface version 1.0! Here we shall go over rebuilding this run down piece of shit castle. Who would ever give you something like this? Oh wait, it was me. Self burn, damn. Anyway, back on topic! You are now tasked with rebuilding this kingdom into the glory of the Abyss! I, being the infinitely awesome Asshole Goddess that I am, shall help you do it! Plus, chicks totally love it when you have your own place. And if you have your own kingdom? Well son, how do you like the idea of swimming in a sea of pussy?

“This can’t possibly be Gaia, the most powerful god of the Abyss, that is writing this,” Mikuru said in disbelief as she read along with John. John couldn’t help but chuckle at Mikuru’s disbelief.

“Nah, that sounds exactly like my Asshole Goddess,” John said proudly.

First off, as you can see, there aren’t that many rooms here. You got your main hall, throne room, king’s chamber, servant’s quarters, kitchen, prison, redacted, and the IT room. Yes, yes I know, the IT room doesn’t fit but hey, it’s the 21st century, right? Sadly, your phone and any other technology in the kingdom can’t connect to this computer until you get them Abyss adapted. Ask a friend, they’ll know what to do. Once you do, however, you’ll be able to access this computer using any technology linked to it. Moving on, using this computer, you will be able to log into the Abyss Auction, where you can buy and sell literally anything, even that cute Japanese girl next to you.

“H-how does she know I’m here?!” Mikuru asked, stunned.

“Well, she is a god, remember?” John pointed out.

“Yes, but no god tends to be this…interactive with any of its subjects.”

“Well, Asshole Goddess is this interactive with me.”

“Seems my sister and I chose correctly in allying with you.”

You can also use this computer to look up what is needed in order to upgrade your castle. Like you could rebuild the battlements to help prevent against sieges! (Psst, those totally do happen btdubs) Maybe add in a barbican and drawbridge? Oooooooooooooh, you should totally add a moat! Note to self: Add ability for John to add a moat to his kingdom. Wait, did you write that down in the explanation text? No! Why would you do that! God, it’s so hard to find good help these days! My name’s Gaia and I’m a self-absorbed, moody god that treats her subjects poorly! Really, Maria? Real mature! Let’s get back on track, shall we?

Ahem. As you restore the castle and the surrounding land, the overall environment will improve. If you can find people or creatures that can assist in this, then all the better. But be warned: There are still some dangers in this new kingdom of yours, one that takes a king and his brave warriors to fix. So be on the lookout for that. Oh, and remember, a kingdom needs subjects. Subjects that are more than just a harem of fuckable girls. Unless you want to like, make the entire kingdom be nothing but your kids. But then that means you’ll have to fuck them, and they’ll have to fuck their mothers or each other and then things become 'The Hills Have Eyes' real quick.

Oh, and one last thing, as a reward for sitting through this tutorial, I’ll throw in a portal room connected to this room. The amount of portals you can have open corresponds to the level of your hearthstone. The portal entrance points in the real world are permanent, so choose them wisely.

Ok, that is all I have. Now go out, adventure, and become a kingly king of kings. Ok Maria, time for your punishment!

The computer then switched to a desktop with two icons on it. John was able to figure out what each one was quite easily. The one with an “A” inside a larger “A” icon must be for the Abyss Auction while the icon that was shaped like a castle’s tower must clearly be the castle manager.

“So, are you familiar with the Abyss Auction?” John asked Mikuru as he clicked on the icon. It brought up a login screen.

“Of course. Everyone in the Abyss uses the Abyss Auction. They have a literal monopoly on any large scale trading. If you want to do any trading of more than a handful of things, you’ll have to use the Abyss Auction,” Mikuru explained to John. John nodded and decided to make a new account. As soon as he clicked “New Account” a light flashed from the screen. Suddenly, letters started appearing in all the boxes at the same time. Once it was finished, John saw that it had all his personal data automatically filled in.

“Huh, well I guess that’s one way to do auto-complete,” John said as he hit “Complete Registration.” The screen changed to his account information page. He clicked the buy tab and saw a seemingly endless list of items appear on the screen. To the side, he saw filters of all sorts. There were ones for crafting items, spell books of all kinds, weapons, armor, slaves, literally anything John could think of was there. “Wow, yeah, you are right. So let’s check out the castle manager now,” John said as he exited that program and clicked on the castle manager icon.

The program that popped up gave an aerial view of the castle and surrounding land. Most of the land upgrades were blacked out, and, when John scrolled the mouse over it, the same message would appear “Missing Appropriate Subjects.”

“So, I guess I need to find more subjects if I want to upgrade these areas,” John said, to which Mikuru agreed that it would be the best course of action. When John clicked on the castle, the screen zoomed in so there was a layout of the current castle with possible upgrades. Some were blacked out, indicating he was missing subjects for those upgrades. He did find that two upgrades were possible: a rookery and a barbican to the main gate. There was also an option for a moat, but whenever he scrolled over it, the letters “NYI” appeared.

“Ok, looks like I need to go gather materials in order to build the rookery and barbican. So I guess our next task will be to go mat farming,” John told Mikuru as he closed the program and got up. “Let’s check out this portal room because I bet that’s how we leave,” John said as the two made their way to the portal room. The room was spacious. The reason appeared to be the 5 large crystals in a circle formation in the center of the room. The crystal closest to the door was glowing while the rest remained dark. John walked up to the glowing crystal, which got brighter the closer John got to it. Once he was standing next to it, he could feel a warmth from it. He brought his hand up to the crystal and hesitated for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and touched the crystal. A map of Springfield appeared in front of him. John saw that his house, Ashford Academy, Moira’s Manor, his favorite gaming shop, and the park were all selectable.

“Oh I see. These are the places I visit the most often or have ties to the Abyss,” John said as he looked over the map. Mikuru came over and was amazed.

“Wait, screens like this popping up is normal for you?” Mikuru asked. John was surprised she asked that, mainly because he didn’t think anyone else could see it. Moira couldn’t even see them when she was in a party with him.

“Hmm. I wonder if having my mark on you allows you to see my interface now,” John said, making a note to experiment with this later before branding more girls. John figured the best idea for now was to set the entrance/exit point of his kingdom to be his house. He hoped it would be his room. John decided there was only one way to find out and touched the crystal again.