A jail in the Underdark

You slowly awake, your head still feeling like a giant just stepped onto it. But you still have the mind to pretend to be asleep, at least until you know where you are.

You peek through lidded eyes.

You're being carried over the shoulder, pretty high up actually. There are some drow guards in front of you, the one carrying you is a guard as well. Your hands are bound together on your back, your daggers are probably gone.

The drow are in animated conversation about something they seem to find funny, but you can't understand the language they're speaking.

After a short while, you arrive at a building, with guards posted in front of it. Their uniform is different from the city guard's.

You can't see what's going on, since you have to be more careful and close your eyes fully, once your little entourage gets closer to the other guards.

Once inside the building, the guards search you and take off your clothes. You manage to palm a lockpick before your belt is gone though. Then they put new clothes on you, and throw you into a room. You have to suppress a grunt, but continue to keep quiet.

"Wakey wakey.", a high, female voice calls out to you.

No point to keep the charade up, you think, and pretend-rise from unconsciousness.

The drow standing on the other side of your cell door doesn't look like anything you have seen so far. Not in this city or anywhere else.

She stands at just over half the height of the average drow, you'd say, even with the tall, black leather boots she's wearing.

She's still taller than you though.

She has a pretty, youthful face, which even on a dark elf you'd call cute. And she has pink hair, tied into two pigtails, sticking out from under a black, shiny officer's cap.

The cap has an emblem depicting a black widows mark in front, and she wears the same mark on a black armband, wrapped around the upper sleeve of her black uniform. Each of her shining, polished buttons is depicting the same mark as well.

Her pants remind you of what you sometimes saw noble human woman wear, when they went horse riding.

She is half chewing, half sucking on some candy on a stick. Like those caramelized apples, you and your friends had at the fair, but rounder, smaller, and, going by the cracking sounds it makes when she chews on it, a lot harder.

"So little man, time to bring big sis Warden up to speed about what the fuck you are doing in Menzoberranzan, and how the fuck you got here."

"Menzobewhatnow?"

Her face lights up. "O!M!G! That. Is. Hillarious."

"What does O.M...."

"You really have no idea where you are? No cap? There's like, one drow city worth mentioning in all of the Underdark. And you, some halfling faggot from upstairs, just HAPPENS to stumble in here?"

No sense in risking her ire, you think to yourself. I'm captured, my friends are captured, might as well try to get on her good side. I'll look for my friends, and an opportune moment to escape, while still in one piece.

"Me and my group came down here to look for our people, we assumed they were taken by drow and brought underground. We didn't think there'd be a city here and..."

"Okay, hold on. Your group? Who are they?"

"They're other halflings like me. There's..."

At that she laughs so hard she almost chokes on her candy. Would be nice if she did, you think.

"YOUR ENTIRE GROUP IS MADE UP OF HALFLINGS?! Bwaaahahaha!", Warden has to double over, holding her belly, gasping for air. When she comes back up, there are tears rolling down her face.

"I have heard of great adventuring groups, who have a halfling rogue sneaking about, stabbing backs and shit. So for a moment, I thought your group might become a real pain in our asses. But these guys got, like, a dragonborn paladin, and an elven ranger, and who the fuck knows what else, tabaxi monks and shit. But all halflings? Like, gz on the ethnostate, but you guys are fucked, you know that? Like, literally fucked! And I really mean literally... Okay your dumbass look tells me you don't get what I mean. Here, let big sis show you."

She starts fumbling with her uniform's pants. "Uh, what are you..." you don't get to finish the sentence, as this tiny drow woman pulls the biggest dick out of her pants, that you have ever seen.

"You see that shit? Now THAT'S a cock. And I guarantee you. Right now? One of these purple beauties is going up the cute little halfling butts of your friends, somewhere in this city."

You're still trying to comprehend what you are seeing. This petite little dark elf just pulled out an impossibly thick, humongous cock, and is now happily swinging it back and forth, hands behind her head, making humping motions in your direction. It'd be funny if it weren't so grotesque.

"But why do you have... how...?"

"Lolth. Simple as that. One day our crazy ass high priestess was gifted a porn book about something called "futa". Chicks with dicks y'know. Dunno how often she must have shlicked it to that book, but she got obsessed with the thought of fucking someone with a cock instead of a pussy. So she brought in a bunch of sacrifices for Lolth, prayed really hard, Lolth prolly thought 'lmao why not', and boom. Futa dicks for everybody. Well, not for everybody, as soon as we leave the city borders it's permanently back to vag town. And we had to do something about population, since we don't have cunts anymore. "

She lifts her giant shlong to reveal a hefty, smooth, purple nutsack, swinging underneath.

"Had to start bringing in drow who weren't in the city, when the cockalypse happened. And the males weren't exactly happy either, but who gives a shit about them lol."

You have no idea what half of the things this woman says even mean, but to your relief, and with considerable effort, she starts to stuff her meaty prick back into her rider's pants.

"But that doesn't explain how you and your friends got into the city, or where they are right now."

That surprises you. "I thought they were here in prison as well? A drow woman caught them. She had an eye patch, with the same symbol on it that you are wearing. I managed to get away and followed them into..."

"WAIT."

Gods this has to be the most annoying creature on earth.

"What did she look like? Tall, lean, big stupid tits? Black, short hair, slicked back like she just went for a swim?

You nod.

Again she loses her mind laughing.

"OMG, THAT STUPID CUNT! She actually managed to not only let a halfling get away from her, but also let it stalk her without realizing?! Ngl, that is the best thing I have heard all century." She's wipes away a tear. "Btw that was my little sister, Mistress. Do you have any idea, how humiliating it would be for her, if she knew I got you in one of my cells?"

You shrug.

"Like, SO humiliating! Yeah no way you're going to the mines. I don't care how fucking funny it would be to throw a halfling down there. You stay right here and I'm gonna make you my personal servant. And then, whenever we got a party or whatever coming up, I'm gonna bring you with me. And I'll sit you down riiiight in front of her.", she bounces up and down, clapping her hands together. "Okay that's gotta happen. I got some shit to arrange, paperwork and all that, but I'll be right back tomorrow! And then your ass is mine! Cya!"

With that she skips away, pigtails whipping up and down.

No way you're gonna just sit around. You gotta get away from that crazy woman and her monster dick. It's lockpick time.

Roll dexterity.