A guided tour

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

Brian froze, his still-dripping cock hanging out of his pants, Caethelia’s cum-glazed face still hovering over Lilia’s twitching cunt.

Somebody was at the door.

“Shit,” Brian hissed.

He stuffed himself back into his sage-green pants with both hands, wincing as the fabric scraped over his sensitive, spent dick.

He shuffled to the door, cracked it open just enough to shove his face through, and used his bulk to block every possible angle into the room.

On the other side stood a woman he had never seen before.

The first thing that hit him was the ridiculous hair-do.

The thing was piled into an enormous, glossy beehive that added a full extra head of height and looked like it had been sculpted by a pastry chef. It was something he had only seen in old movies.

And for the rest of her… She was also, of course, stupidly sexy.

Her maid uniform was a size too small in all the right places.

The black bodice cinched her waist into an hourglass and shoved a pair of heavy, megatits up so high they looked ready to vault over the neckline. Her skirt was short, flouncy, and doing a terrible job of covering a plump, heart-shaped ass. White stockings hugged her thick, creamy thighs.

And for her face… It was okay. The only thing about her that wasn’t 10 out of 10. Maybe 6 or 7?

She was wearing thick, round glasses that had already slid halfway down her nose. She also had a noticeable beauty mark beside her mouth and a nervous little smile.

She bounced once on her heels, then immediately dropped her clipboard, then caught it, then dropped her pen, then caught that too.

“Um. Hello. Hi. Sorry. I’m Minnie. Minnie Spoonful. Queen’s assistant maid. I knock on doors. Professionally.” She adjusted her glasses with one finger and they immediately slid back down. “The Queen wanted me to ask if Envoy Bladeboss would like a tour of the castle. After the friendship studies. Are the friendship studies done. Are you done. Is this a bad time.”

Everything about this woman screamed that she was a bag of nerves. No woman in his world would ever act this awkward, why would they, they had the world at their fingertips.

But here… well, the normal rules didn’t apply.

Brian glanced back over his shoulder.

Caethelia was still on top of Lilia, both of them panting, shiny, and completely wrecked. Caethelia’s ass was striped red from the pointer. Lilia’s thighs were still twitching.

Neither of them looked capable of standing, let alone another round of “research.”

“Yeah,” Brian said, turning back with a greasy smile. “Friendship stuff is wrapped up. Super educational. I’d love a tour.”

“Oh good. Great. Wonderful.” Minnie made a little check mark on her clipboard so hard the pen stabbed through the paper. “Please follow me. I know the way. I mean, of course I do, I work here. Probably didn’t need to say that.”

She started walking, then stopped, then started again.

Brian pulled the door shut behind him. The last thing he saw was Caethelia slowly peeling her face off Lilia’s crotch, a string of mixed fluids stretching between them like melted cheese.

He followed Minnie down the hall, his eyes locked on the hypnotic sway of that fat, round ass under the short maid skirt. Every few steps she would stumble, catch herself, mutter “whoops,” and keep going.

And the best part.

No Rosalind.

No silver helmet poking out from behind a candy pillar. No crimson cape. No emerald death-stare burning a hole in the back of his skull.

He was free. For now.

“So,” Brian said, licking his lips. “You show people around a lot?”

“Yes. No. Sometimes. The Queen said you are an honored guest so I should show you everything. Even the restricted parts. She said guests should feel at home. Home is everywhere. Therefore everywhere is for you.”

Brian’s grin widened.

This woman was going to walk him through every filthy playground in the castle and she did not even know it.

First stop was the Grand Ballroom.

It was enormous. Crystal chandeliers shaped like spinning sugar snowflakes. A floor of polished pink marble so shiny Brian could see up Minnie’s skirt in the reflection if he angled his head just right, which he did, immediately. The far wall was all mirrors.

Brian stared at those mirrors and pictured twenty naked maids lined up against them, ass out, while he went down the row like an all-you-can-fuck buffet.

“We hold festivals here,” Minnie said, pushing her glasses up. They fell down again. “Dancing. Speeches. Friendship circles. Sometimes the Princess does sword poses. People clap.”

“Yeah,” Brian muttered. “I have a few poses for her as well.”

“Really? She’s always looking for new poses. She’ll be quite grateful.”

“Oh yeah. She will be”

Next was the Royal Baths.

Steam. Pools of warm, vanilla-scented water. Marble benches. Shelves of oils and soaps in every pastel color. A row of open stalls with no doors, because of course there were no doors. Privacy was a concept this kingdom had never invented.

Brian’s brain immediately filled the empty pools with wet, slippery bodies. Tits floating. Asses breaking the surface. His fat cock sliding between soapy thighs while some clueless princess asked if this was a Scone Spire bathing custom.

They passed the royal kitchens, where three busty cooks in flour-dusted aprons were kneading dough with their whole bodies, tits swaying, laughing. They waved at Brian.

He waved back with the hand that was not adjusting his crotch.

They passed a linen closet the size of a bedroom, stacked with silk sheets. Brian clocked it as a future fuck-closet immediately.

They passed a music gallery, a trophy hall full of Lumi’s “victories” over Nyx (which appeared to be mostly confiscated grey capes and one sad rubber spider), and a greenhouse full of candy-vines that looked disturbingly like they wanted to grab someone.

Then Minnie stopped in front of a wide, fogged-up archway. The sound of running water and giggling spilled out.

“This is the maids’ shower room,” she announced. “Would you like to see it. The Queen said show everything. This is a thing. Therefore I am showing it.”

Brian’s soul left his body and immediately came back harder.

“Yes,” he said. “I would like to see it very much.”

Minnie pushed the door open.

Steam rolled out.

Inside, a long tiled chamber with a dozen shower heads along the wall.

No stalls. No curtains.

Just open space, pink soap, and wet, naked women.

Five maids were in there right now.

One blonde with huge, heavy tits was rinsing shampoo out of her hair, arms up, chest thrust forward, water cascading over her stiff nipples.

A redhead with a round, jiggling ass was bent over washing her legs, her pussy lips peeking out from behind.

A brunette with a slim waist and a fat rear was soaping her own breasts in slow circles, humming.

Two more were helping each other wash their backs, which meant they were pressed together, wet skin on wet skin, giggling every time their nipples brushed.

They all looked over when the door opened.

They saw Brian.

They did not scream. They did not cover up.

They giggled.

“Oh, hello Envoy Brian!” the blonde called, waving, which made her soapy tits bounce. “Are you touring? How exciting!”

“The water is so nice today,” the redhead added, still bent over, still showing him everything. “You should try it sometime!”

Brian stood in the doorway and stared like a starving dog looking through a butcher shop window.

His mouth hung open.

A drop of drool actually escaped.

“Do you need a towel, Envoy?” the brunette asked, turning fully toward him, her shaved pussy on complete display, water running down her stomach and dripping off her clit.

“I’m good,” Brian croaked. “Just looking. For the tour. Very educational. Excellent plumbing.”

Minnie made another check on her clipboard. “Maids’ showers. Shown. Next.”

Brian had to be physically led away. His neck stayed twisted toward the showers until the door closed.

They were halfway down the next corridor when a pink-and-white missile slammed into his chest.

“BRIAN!”

Princess Petal had launched herself at him again.

Her skinny legs wrapped around his waist. Her frilly dress rode up. Her striped-stocking thighs clamped his sides.

Her cute little ass landed directly on the bulge in his pants and started bouncing like it had a personal vendetta against his remaining sanity.

“Hi! Did you sleep well? Did you eat breakfast? Is this a tour? Can I come? Do you like my ribbon? It’s new! Minnie hi! Your hair is so tall today! Brian do you want to play a game with me? I invented a new one! It’s called—”

“Yes,” Brian gasped, his hands instinctively grabbing her waist to keep her from grinding him into an early second death. “Yes. Game. Whatever. Sure.”

“YAY! Okay so the rules are you close your eyes and then I—”

A glittering sugar-beetle zipped past her head.

Petal’s enormous green eyes locked onto it.

“SIR GARY!” she screamed. “YOU CAME BACK! WAIT UP! I STILL HAVE TO MEASURE YOUR WINGSPAN!”

She kicked off Brian’s body like a springboard and sprinted down the hall after the beetle, her short dress flipping up with every stride, flashing pink panties the entire way until she vanished around a corner.

Brian stood there with a fresh, painful erection and a Petal-shaped sweat stain on his tunic.

“She does that,” Minnie said, pushing her glasses up. They fell down. “A lot. Shall we continue.”

“Yeah,” Brian wheezed. “Continue. Please.”

The next door was heavier. Metal.

A sign above it read GUMMIWORKS in cheerful block letters.

“This is the science room,” Minnie said. “Where they make the gummy soldiers. For parades. And also for if Empress Nyx ever does something actually scary, which she has not, but the Queen likes to be prepared. Mostly they make them for parades.”

She opened the door.

The lab was a candy-colored mad scientist’s playground.

Vats of molten gummy in red, green, and gold bubbled along one wall.

Molds shaped like swords, shields, and bows hung from racks. The air smelled like hot sugar and faintly like feet.

In the center of the room, a woman in a white lab coat stood over a large metal tray, pouring a thick stream of red gummy from a ladle.

She was devastating.

Messy red hair all over her face, so much that it covered her eyes completely. High cheekbones, a soft mouth. But it was hard for Brian to focus on her face.

Mainly because the lab coat was the only thing she was wearing on top, unbuttoned enough to show a deep line of cleavage and the inner curves of a pair of heavy C-cups. The coat hit mid-thigh.

Below that… bare legs. Bare feet. And, as she shifted her weight to pour, a very clear, very round, completely uncovered ass.

No pants.

Not even underwear.

Just a lab coat and a whole lot of woman.

The only thing stopping Brian from staring straight at her cunt was the one single lowest button she had buttoned of her coat. Brian hated that button with all the fires of Hell.

“Nola,” Minnie said, squinting. “Where are your pants.”

The scientist reacted slowly. She looked down. She looked at her own bare thighs.

She looked at the floor, as if the pants might be hiding there out of embarrassment.

“Oh,” she said, her voice sounding sleepy. “I knew I forgot something this morning.”

She did not put anything on.

She just went back to pouring.

Brian stared at the pale, sleepy curve of her ass and the dark little shadow between her thighs every time she bent over the tray.

“Envoy Bladeboss, this is Dr. Nola Gummidge,” Minnie said. “Head of Gummiworks. Dr. Gummidge, this is the foreign envoy.”

“Hey,” Nola said, without looking up. “Welcome. Don’t lick the vats. People keep licking the vats. It’s not ready yet. Also it’s hot.”

She finished pouring. The red gummy in the tray shimmered, then rose.

It built itself.

Legs. A torso. Arms like boiled hams. A square jaw. A tiny gummy helmet.

In five seconds a muscly, cherry-red gummy man stood on the tray, exactly Brian’s height, glistening, and completely blank-eyed.

The gummy man snapped a salute so hard his whole body wobbled.

“Sir,” it said, in a voice like someone talking through a mouthful of jelly. “Gummy Private First Class. Reporting for parade.”

Brian took a step back.

The thing looked like a protein-powder advertisement made of dessert.

“That’s… something,” Brian said.

“We can do lots of shapes,” Nola murmured, poking the gummy man’s pec. It bounced. “Soldiers. Horses. A very large duck one time. The duck was a mistake.”

Brian’s filthy brain lit up like a casino.

“Can you make other… types of people as well?” he asked, trying to sound casual and failing because he was staring at her uncovered ass.

Nola yawned. It was a long, slow yawn that made her braless tits lift and strain against the lab coat.

“We can make anything. Why?”

“What about women,” Brian said. “Women with, you know, for example… Big breasts. Big asses. Very detailed. Very… anatomically complete.”

Nola finally looked at him. Well, Brian assumed she looked at him. He couldn’t see her eyes through the hair.

“That’s not even a challenge,” she said. “Breasts are easy. Asses are easy. I could make you a gummy woman with a chest so big she’d fall over if I didn’t reinforce the spine with extra gelatin. I could put dimples on the ass. I could put a little belly button. I could put whatever holes you wanted. It’s all just molds and ratios.”

Brian’s mouth went dry.

“But,” Nola added, already turning back to her vat, “I couldn’t do it anyway. Personal projects are fine. Custom citizens are not. That would have to be an order from the Queen herself. Protocol.”

Brian filed that away in the part of his brain labeled FUTURE HAREM EXPANSION PACK.

A custom-made, big-titted, big-assed gummy woman army.

All obeying his orders.

And his first order would be to open their mouths and-

A frantic buzzing cut him off.

Pippa Thistledown shot through the lab door like a strawberry-blonde bullet, mailbag swinging, wings a blur.

She pulled up in front of Brian’s face, panting, her oversized chest heaving.

“Envoy Bladeboss!” she squeaked. “I have important news! Flora is looking for you again and she said you have to come RIGHT NOW because something amazing is happening and she used the word amazing four times and she was bouncing and I think you really need to see it!”

Brian blinked.

Flora. Again.

Last time that call had led to Melody naked on a piano and the best fuck of his two lives.

“Lead the way, Tinkerbell,” Brian said, already waddling toward the door. “I love amazing.”

Pippa didn’t move, she just looked around with confusion.

Brian sighed. “You’re the Tinkerbell. Move.”

---

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