A double date

"So, watcha thinking about doing today?" Lucy asked as she laid next to Kyle, her trademark grin on her face.

"As long as I'm with you and we end up back in bed tonight, I'm alright with anything." Kyle replied. At Lucy's giggle, he wrapped an arm around her and looked into her eyes as he asked, "Was there anything you always wanted to do when you got into a relationship?"

"Well, it's not exactly wild, but I've always wanted -"

"She'll have to get back to you on that, Sir."

Both Kyle and Lucy jumped as they looked up to see a brunette woman in a purple three piece pinstripe suit and glasses standing at the foot of Kyle's bed, the woman looking over a clipboard before turning to Lucy.

"Who... What... How... Where the hell did you come from?!" Kyle stammered. He knew he shouldn't have been surprised at whoever this was, but he was still getting used to all this.

Lucy, on the other hand, merely groaned in annoyance as she sat up and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Misty..." She began slowly, "You had better have a good reason for this unexpected visit."

"Sorry, Ms. Morningstar." The Woman, Mephistopheles, said apologetically as she pushed her glasses up her nose. "It's just that I feel that I should remind you that you have a very busy schedule this morning."

"Ugh! Fine." Lucy groaned, giving Kyle a quick apologetic look before returning her attention to her secretary. "What've I got?"

"Well," Mephistopheles read from the clipboard, "from ten to ten fifty you have to give a performance review to the newest imps and demons working in the Ironic Punishment Department."

"Oh, I hate doing that. The newer imps aways get so defensive when you tell them not to ram a cactus up the ass of a serial arsonist."

"From eleven to eleven thirty, you have a business brunch with Chernabog and Iblis on improving work relations."

"Yeah, can't really cancel that one again... Especially after Boggy became such a freaking Diva back in the 40s. Hell! He didn’t even know that Night on Bald Mountain and Fantasia got his name wrong!"

"Twelve fifteen to twelve twenty, you need to meet up with the leaders of both Republican and Democrat parties for them to make a better deal for who will be next to serve as President."

Kyle gave a look to Lucy, The Devil shrugging in response. "I'm not proud of it either. But they both came to me after Kennedy and Reagan, and my business is making deals..."

"And from twelve forty-five to one, you have an appointment with Brahma for your personal yoga class." Mephistopheles finished, looking up from her clipboard. "After that, you're free to do as you please."

"Hmm..." Lucy said as she thought to herself. Turning to Misty she said, "Reschedule the yoga and the political meetings to whenever I'm free later in the week. Is that possible?"

"... Well, technically yes."

"Then please do so." Lucy said as she got off the bed and stood up. "I'll take care of the reviews and the brunch. And call next time, that's what we bought the phones for. Not so you can drool over Narcissus' Only Fans."

"U-understood, Ms. Morningstar." Mephistopheles replied with a bow, her entire body turning red before she disappeared in a pillar of hell fire.

Lucy let out a sigh and shook her head before turning to Kyle. "Secretaries. Whatcha gonna do?"

"I'm still trying to figure out how she got in." Kyle commented, scratching the back of his neck.

Lucy shrugged again. "Misty really isn't one for theatrics. You should have seen how she took Faust by surprise." She then rubbed the back of her neck and said, "Sorry about cutting this short, but -"

"Hey, I get it. Queen of Hell and all that." Kyle said nonchalantly. "Go ahead and do what you need to do. We can talk about what you wanted to do when you get back."

"Thanks, Babe." Lucy said, smiling sweetly as she kissed Kyle's cheek before opening up a portal to Hell. "I'll be back by noon. Love ya!"

"Love you too, Lucy." Kyle called back as Lucy went through the portal, the gateway closing behind her.

"ALRIGHT! CHOW TIME!"

At Crystal Park Coed Prison, the inmates were having breakfast as the guards watched them like hawks. Something that was not an easy task as most of the tables were crammed in the small cafeteria.

Keyword being most...

At one table in the middle of the cafeteria sat none other than Grant and Roxie, the two decked out in orange jumpsuits as Roxie ate her oatmeal and Grant stared at his in disgust and prodded it with a spoon.

"It's dead, Hun. You can eat it now." Roxie muttered as she swallowed her spoonful.

"This isn't right, Roxie!" Grant hissed as he pushed the bland slop to the side. "We were top rate demon hunters. The top dogs! Yet we're in here while The Devil is running around doing who knows what! And for what?!"

"Because we were fucking each other senseless in a zoo exhibit?" Roxie asked in response.

"And is that worse than what The Devil has done?!"

"Look, Grant." Roxie said as she held her boyfriend's hand. "I'm not gonna pretend you're wrong. I'm not gonna pretend that it's wrong that we're rotting away in here while the real evil and those two backstabbing traitors to humanity are allowed to run free. And I am most certainly not gonna pretend that I don't want the chance to slay that demonic bitch! However, there's nothing we can do about it at this point. I mean, what happened to us that night several months ago?"

"Well -"

"We got stripped by demons and goddesses, sprayed by giant skunks, streaked the city trying to keep up with The Devil, got turned into deer, tranquilized and placed in a zoo before turning back to normal after a week, and were arrested for public lewdness." Roxie said as she shook her head, "And all that was before we had 'Attempted ' added to the charges and being declared insane! We've been here a few months now, and we aren't ever -"

"Sinclair! Rodgers!" The Warden shouted as he entered the mess hall, getting the attention of the two. "Congratulations, you sick freaks. Someone posted your bail!"

Grant and Roxie looked at each other in surprise before turning their attention back to The Warden. "Who?"

"... And, like always, Boggy was acting like nothing more than an arrogant little diva all because I showed up at the cafe thirty-five seconds late." Lucy finished, relaying her morning to Kyle as they sat on the couch. "I mean, I'm The Devil. I have over a million times more representation then he does, and I'm not like that!"

"Fame often gets into some people's heads." Kyle said, "I guess it can get into immortal heads too."

"I guess." Lucy said with a sigh. She then turned to Kyle and cleared her throat. "Anyway," she began, "about earlier this morning before we were interrupted by Misty, one thing I wanted to always try was a double date."

"Huh..." Kyle said as he replayed all the dates the two had been on these past few months. "You know, we never actually did a double date with our friends before. And technically, Buddy and Hailey only started dating after they helped Ozzie recharge her amulet, so that technically doesn't really count. You'd think we'd have done that by now..."

"Yeah, same here."

"Assuming we did go on one, who exactly would we go with?" Kyle asked.

"Well, Belle and Aergia aren't really extroverted, so they're out." Lucy replied. "Thankfully, they're also very understanding and will get why they are. Satie, Lilith, and Pazuzu are out of town so they're out for now, too."

"What about Ozzie, Anubis, and Baset?"

"... Uh, yeah. Ozzie called me at work earlier and her hotel is kinda booked for some kind of BDSM Convention. So she's out, too." Lucy admitted with a sheepish laugh.

"So, that leaves Buddy and Hailey, Bee and Q, Levi and Uriel, or Mammo and Charity." Kyle said. "I think all of them would want to say yes to the idea, but who do we ask?"