A doctors visit before bed

First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide walked toward Chris’s door. She thought for a moment before knocking. This would need finesse; the researcher couldn’t leak anything to the duo. She could only look and maybe talk about elementals, but nothing related to the inner workings of the show. Somehow, the living watermass managed to knock on the door as if she were made of flesh and bone, loud, satisfying and reverberating through the cabin. To no one's surprise, she was greeted by the current resident of the dwelling, Christopher. “Hello, I am First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide. I am here on a house call. Can I come in?” First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide said with a small bow. Chris hadn’t noticed it was in his native tongue now that he had the automatic translation upgrade.

The master of the cabin blinked a few times before he answered, “Can you leave if you do? If so, sure. I was expecting someone different, I think.”

[No, they are the one we are expecting, First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide. Why do you think she is someone different?] Ember tilted as she spoke.

“I will have a conversation with Syl about that… I think the upgrade doesn’t have a full vocabulary. I am speaking English, Christopher. The name I gave you works fine without binding me to you. I know it is a lot shorter than the proper full translation, but it covers the details. Like a misty rain, for example: you don’t have to specify all the water droplet sizes to say it is basically thin and small. You know, as your kind figures out terms that describe the world, its ages and so on, our perception of what correct translations are changes as well. Now sit down and let me have a look.” The water elemental spoke in the synthesised voice.

Christopher sat down to let the researcher do her thing. She placed her hands on the temples and sides of the man's head. She probed into him, into the magic binding him to his harem, into his transformation and the magic binding him to the fireball. “Positive, I have found nothing harmful to you within the transformation or the bond you two share. The emotion thing seems to be a side effect of your bond, I think. Something like enhanced empathy for her master, maybe. I am also guessing.” First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide said in a calm, clinical tone.

“Wait, why did that feel so cool and calming? Is that all there is to it? How can you speak English and have a female form?” Chris was confused.

“The calming effect is simply a bit of magic I placed on the water I am using to maintain physical form to prevent my prying from being rejected. Yep, as far as I can tell, it is. I am old enough to have learned these things. Compared to Ember, I am an old grandmother; I am ancient, a fossil.” She said, slowly going from the confident woman she chose to appear as to a woman who looks ancient, hunched over with a stick, wrinkles all over her face. “I was born at the end of what your people call an ice age. I have seen a form of humanity grow into a species that destroyed their own world.” She said before straightening back into her confident younger form.

[Have you ever been bound to someone of that world?] Ember asked, curious as to the life of the elder.

“Sure have a whole bunch. I stopped with it after moving islands, or was it continents. After the ones who only took drove away the people with whom I cooperated. I didn’t want to participate in wars. Humans are…” The elemental shut up before she insulted the master.

“Destructive gremlins who do not think before they take, I know. If you are the researcher, you probably know my background.” He said in a sad tone, getting a small nod in response. “I am one of the people who at least is trying to prevent some of the major destruction… To ask the rest to think about the future of all that shares our world with us… that doesn't mean I get listened to.” Silence filled the room. If you didn’t know better, you would think the people in the room were mourning. Which they were. First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide, the people she lived with, the world she had lost. Chris was mourning in the sense you mourn for someone you feel you are about to lose.

Ember broke it. [So what have you been doing since the show started?]

First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide put on a professional face and said, “It varies depending on the day.” She tried to deflect the question. “But I am done here; it is best I leave so Chris can engage with the gentleman he is on a date with.” The escape attempt was interrupted by the sound of snoring from the other room. “Good luck.” The water elemental said with a wave as she attempted to leave.

SPOILERS WARNING

I am putting this here: spoilers for Woo The Girl Save The World lie beyond here. Not any of the latest chapters, persé but I will still leave it here. I don't think this is beyond what I have done for earlier chapters.

Ember and Chris didn’t stop her. Ember knew that it might have been too much prying with Chris there. Chris didn’t, purely because he felt like the question about previously bound people was too invasive for a casual acquaintance. He took a deep breath. “So do you want to talk about your favourite season of the show, or at least the one you reference the most?”

Ember turned a brighter red. [No, it isn’t like that; it is just that… that there are a lot of similarities.]

Chris smiled. “Care to name them?”

[Elf host, mixed harem… fantasy elements… uhhmmm actual people as attendants.] The ball of fire stammered.

“And the other seasons don’t? I could ask Samson, but I am guessing at least some of those elements are more common. Especially the fantasy elements and staff that are capable of interacting with the cast.” Chris said carefully.

[I… I… love the care Tyalangan puts into her charges as she calls her cast. I love the amount of care she puts into everything, even if she fucked up with Craig.] The elemental broke Chris had seen through her.

“It isn’t wrong to gush about what you love. It isn’t wrong to want to share what you love. I got to see a new fun ‘expression’, for lack of a better term. I am guessing it means embraced, since yesterday evening you turned into a mood ring. It makes you a lot easier to read. So what is so bad about Craig?” Chris tried to comfort her.

[Wait, I have been shifting colours?] Chris nodded in response to the question. Ember turned bright red again. [Why didn’t you say so sooner?]

“I didn’t know it was a big deal; that’s why. Explain to me why it is a big deal?” Chris looked confused, as if something he thought was normal wasn’t.

[Normally, that is something fire elementals at least a few decades older than me, who lived in a place more saturated with energy, are able to do. Do you know why?] Before Chris could answer, the fireball continued. [Of course not. You know nothing about what is normal to elementals, but why didn’t First-Melt-of-the-Laurentide say something about it?]

“The most likely one is she saw it as a normal possibility. She didn’t think it was odd. After looking it over, she said there was nothing wrong. Don’t panic; it should be fine.” Chris tried to manage her panic a bit.

[No. How could they have seen it in the short time they were here?] The ball of fire started pacing.

“Why would she not have checked the tapes to check for other weird things if we asked about them? I think she knew. I think we are being kept under a closer eye than you think.” As Chris finished his sentence, a message came in.

“See, Syl probably would have informed her already about it if she thought it was worrisome. Now, who is Craig, and why is he so bad?” the master of the little cabin said, holding up his phone.

[Craig is the entitled asshole of their season. He isn’t as bad as Missy, but I don’t think he is willing to change. The dog, uhhm, Hyena technically, isn’t willing to engage with the group. The group isn’t willing to engage or help him.] Ember said in disgust.

“You assume Missy is. Sure, let’s work under that premise. It is better for my mental health, at least over the implication that Becky and I are forcing her to become something or someone she isn’t. Couldn’t his harem members support him, or was he that distant?” Chris wondered.

[Neither… Craig is the living embodiment of nails on a chalkboard. Take the entitlement of Heather and Missy and a good helping of misogyny, and you would get close to the idea of the type of man he is.] The explanation was contradictory to the elemental's previous statement. She realised and clarified. [Missy is worse because she did things to actively hurt you. Craig doesn’t care that the girl isn’t ready for penetration. He just doesn’t seem to care about anyone except himself.]

Chris thought it over. “They are the same. You are attributing malice to Missy. I am not. Missy… is probably just oblivious to other people not being fucking NPCs. I do hope her transformations will help at least. Now that we have spoken about your least favourite person on that show, who is your favourite?”

She relaxed a bit. [Honestly, that is a harder question… The one I am rooting for the most is Jenny; I hope you don’t mind spoilers.] Chris shook his head; he wasn’t sure if he would deliberately go watch other people's seasons even if he had the chance. [Well, she used to be an eliminated contestant from another season- the fuck table, if you remember. She is now a dryad, and well, I ship her with Tessa- Tyalangan’s sister.]

“Don’t ship real people. It is creepy.” Chris said with a chuckle. “I know you might want to, but you know the people getting shipped are likely getting uncomfortable with it. How would you feel if people shipped you with Samson?”

[Oooh… yep, shouldn’t do that. Still, I think they might go on a date soon, so it isn’t as much shipping as rooting for them. Jenny does need some levity to recover from the trauma of her previous season, and frankly so does Tessa with her kidnapped brother turned sister. I hope she finds love with more than just Mona. I hope she finds people who will be able to support her through thick and thin.] The room felt warm and cosy for a moment after she stopped talking.

“That sounds as healthy as any investment in reality TV I have seen. But she is the one you are rooting for, any specific one you like.” Chris asked.

[Hey, now you are focusing the entire conversation on me; weren’t you mad at Will for doing the same to you?] The ball of fire flared up.

“Well, how much do you have to listen to me yap about me? How often do you have time to talk to me? I think that even if I asked you all about you all evening, it would only be a small amount compared to that. William isn’t with me 24/7, and he doesn’t talk about himself all that much. I spend all day with him; what do I know about him?” Chris defended his behaviour.

[You didn’t try before tonight. You were more engaged with the girls who joined you.] Ember scolded.

“Didn’t I… I might not have tried as much as I think I did. Still, it isn’t like I ignored him.” The ecologist decided to defend himself.

[You don’t need to defend yourself to me, Chris. I am just pointing it out.] The man’s frustration was plastered all over his face. [The others are all pretty equal for me. There are some for whom I hope their relationship will last, like Winter and Kevin. Some who I hope to overcome their old chains and habits, like Mineko. I have a hard time picking favourites, even during the popularity polls I could have participated in, and I ended up not voting.] Ember answered. [But I suggest you go to sleep. Tomorrow, three people are going to be a lot to manage, I think.]