A crowd of time travellers

Jenna hated her job. She had come home to live with her parents over the Summer while she was in between terms at College. Her mom had insisted she get a job, as they weren't going to be putting up with her living with them without her paying her way. She made a token effort at applying for stuff just to get her mom to stop nagging her. She had never thought that she would get a call back from the government reception job. Apparently, they had a vacancy that they needed filling really quickly and if she could start the next day.

That was two weeks ago. It was a constant stream of weirdos, perverts, socially awkward guys, girls that even the desperate guys at frat parties wouldn't have taken a second look at, and she was sure that at least one of them was a donkey. Then there was the paperwork, the constant fucking paperwork. She had to complete everything in triplicate, and whoever had invented the filing system in this place, she hoped they got syphilis and hoped it would be really fucking painful and burn a lot. Each of the forms had to be filled in three different locations in the building. One of them was right up on the top floor, and she was sure had taken a right turn four times and didn't end up back where she started. Whenever she had to go anywhere in the building, she kept her head down and never talked to anyone.

Today however, was quiet so far, nobody had turned up. She was playing Candy Crush on her phone when there was bright flash from reception. What the fuck was it now? She looked up from her phone and saw a bald man in strange-looking clothes standing in front of her desk.

“Hello and welcome to the Bureau of Sexual Services. How can I help you today?” Jenna said, trying to sound as nasally as possible. She found that if she went with an air of contempt, people tended to go away.

The man held up a strange device and started to speak into it in a language she did not understand. A very robotic-sounding voice was broadcast from it.

“Greetings, resident of this previous temporal era. I have come from the future to advise that you must stop if the forms continue to be processed, this will lead to a societal collapse in 2086.”

Jenna had already returned her attention to her phone. “Please fill in these forms, and they will be processed in four to six weeks. At which time we will advise if your application has been successful.” She placed some forms on the countertop.

The strange man spoke into the box again.

“I do not think you understand that, due to the application forms and the acts they permit, this will lead to inhibitions being lowered globally and society will eventually collapse.”

“Sir, if you have a complaint, you will need to submit it in writing. Once this has been processed in six to eight weeks, you will hear from an adjudicator from the Bureau of Sexual Services.” Jenna provided another set of forms.

Jenna was blinded by another flash of light.

A woman in a green jumpsuit and mirrored glasses appeared behind the first man. She had an asymmetrical haircut.

“I have come from the year 4027. I request that you ignore the temporal intrusion from this man. If the forms are not processed and the societal changes do not take place, then when The Event happens, humanity will not be prepared.”

Jenna looked at her phone it was still at least another hour before her lunch break. This was going to be a long day.

“Madam, please fill in the forms as requested. Please indicate your sexual preferences.” Jenna piled more forms onto the reception desk.

The man spoke into the box again.

“Please ignore this woman. Her actions will cause immense damage to the timestream.”

The woman in the jumpsuit spoke again.

“We are an advanced civilisation, and this is a pivotal moment in time. If the department does not stand, then humanity will be simply erased.”

Jenna was about to reply when what appeared to be a large metal chair materialised in the room. There was a sort of radar dish on the back, a chair in the middle, and a dial at the front. A man who looked like he was wearing something from the Victorian era approached the desk.

“Ignore both of these individuals, Madam. I am from the past but travelled far into the future. My device can only travel forwards so I have had to wait until the cycle of time began again to reach this moment again. Have you ever had to perform oral sex on a Morlock? No, a ghastly experience it was. Time must be allowed to travel along its course without interruption.”

Jenna sighed. “Can I offer anyone a drink? Tea, coffee, water?”

“A tea would be delightful, actually. Milk, two sugars,” the Victorian-era man replied.

“Do you have Venusian coffee?” The woman in the green jumpsuit asked.

“Just regular or decaf,” Jenna answered.

“A flat white then.”

She turned to the first time traveller.

“We caffeine products have been outlawed in my time.... sorry, did you say you have decaf?” He asked.

“Yes. So a tea and two coffees.” Jenna said, summarising the drinks order.

Jenna stepped away for five minutes of peace and made the requested drinks. She almost dropped the tray when she returned. The lobby was full of them. She could see two different phone boxes, one of them was blue and said Police on it. There was a man stood next to it in a scarf and waistcoat. The other was a glass one which looked like an American phone box, and someone had parked a car in reception. There looked to be an older man getting out of it.

“You'll have to park that outside. For health and safety reasons, all cars have to be parked in the car park and display a valid ticket.” Jenna shouted.

She could hear guitars being played somewhere but couldn't see anyone playing them. She could see two teenagers towards the back of the room doing air guitars though. They were standing next to an angry looking man with a pencil moustache wearing a shirt with suspenders.

She handed the drinks out to the alleged time travellers.

“Could everyone form an orderly queue and fill in the required paperwork. In triplicate.” Jenna shouted.

Then they were all gone. Instead, there was just a young man standing there holding a stopwatch of some kind. He looked like he was barely eighteen and fairly cure.

“Welcome to the Bureau of Sexual Services. How can I help you today?” Jenna said, feeling slightly less annoyed.

“Is that where I am?” The man replied.

“Please fill out these forms, and we can process your request in four to six weeks,” Jenna explained again.

The man took the forms and filled them in without complaint. “Well, see you in four to six weeks then.”

Jenna watched him fiddle with something on his stopwatch and then he simply disappeared.

Jenna fucking hated her job.