A Wardrobe Malfunction on Stage

The soprano was a tall slender brunette with a rack that caught every one's attention in the concert hall. It looked just out of place on her lean and graceful body. Her white off shoulder dress was cut rather loose and reached down to her knees, showing off the young singers elegant ankles and high heels. But despite the attempt to camouflage the two impressive bugles on her lower chest it was clear to everyone, what was going on.

The playbill from the concert featured a beautiful oval portrait of the young singer. Frontal, gazing dreamily into the distance, her curly brown hair tied together to a tight bun. Her long neck curved elegant like a G-clef, and her collar bones crowned a pair of gracious shoulders. Soft indications of her sternum were shining through the pale skin of her upper chest, which was marbled with light blue veins. The picture ended with the white neckline of a dress. Now on stage everyone could see the continuation of what the picture withheld. Although the décolleté of her dress already offered an extensive view on her seemingly bony chest, her actual breasts started bulging out just beneath that neckline to ridiculous proportions. The 10 inch cleavage that showed during her first bow in front of the applauding audience, left no doubt, that her breasts were not only enormous, but to heavy to be supported by her soft connective tissue.

As people were listening to the beautiful soprano singing, some wondered about her exceptional figure and some even noticed, that the singer didn't seem to wear a bra, because her shoulders were bare. Of course there were clearly visible bra strap marks on her shoulders, dug in deep into her flesh from carrying all the heavy weight over the years. She must have chosen a strapless bra to go with that off shoulder dress, many figured, and that must be the reason why her boobs were so low on her chest today, almost sitting on her belly. To many in the audience her chest was way to distracting from the beautiful music and watching her with her mouth wide open, didn't exactly help either. No matter how much they tried to focus on the song, their eyes wandered back to these incredible bulges in the white dress.

What was she thinking wearing white? Some of the women in the audience thought in disgust. Many of them were convinced that those breasts, despite of their natural looking sag, had to be fake and that this of course meant, she had to be some kind of slut. The men were less angry with the singers appearance but of course they would never allow their daughters or wives to run around like that. But unfortunately neither their wives nor daughters had tits like that anyways.

It's characteristic for these phony bourgeois people, that they would obediently applaud after each song, while in their minds they already started weaving their poisonous rumors and gossip for after the concert. Men were mostly trying to find good puns and wise cracks involving terms like "volume", "resounding body" or just the overuse of "udderly" (wink wink) and the likes. Others tried to film the busty singer from a good vantage point to get some visual viagra, so to speak.

All of a sudden the soprano's face twitches. For a split second her eyes seem to widen in shock. But she as a professional, her voice doesn't even tremble. In search what might have caused this unexpected reaction eyes from everywhere in the audience search the stage for a clue. And they find it on the sopranos chest. First of all the massive bulges have sagged further down, probably past her belly button, some figure. Underneath the tight white fabric something is bunched up, causing buckles and folds. It dawns on most of the beholders: the backstrap from that strapless bra must have broken.

The singer however maintains her discipline. She still has 30 Minutes to go, before the concert is over and can go backstage to change. She keeps singing and her bra keeps moving underneath her dress... sliding downwards. After a while some one in the audience discovers one end of the bra's backstrap hanging out from underneath her dress, right next to her left knee. Eight tiny hooks sparkle in the spotlight. With each breath she takes, the bra slips a bit further down. More and more people have discovered the embarrassing wardrobe malfunction. There is some snickering in the audience but the soprano remains oblivious. Blinded by the lights, she can't see the audience. She sings into a darkness, where occasional coughs and sneezes interrupt the music. The left cup of her bra is dangling there between her legs and its just as big as a hat. The soprano takes a few seconds of pause between songs and the deafening silence is ripped apart by the sound of a zipper being carefully pulled down somewhere in the dark. Someone is shushing angrily.

The bra is simple and white. No lace or any decor. Just a plain bra to do the job - but it failed. It betrayed his mistress. Now somewhere in the dark another zipper is being pulled down. The bra finally looses his grip and falls entirely down on the stage, right on the sopranos feet. She is to caught up singing to notice. And most people are just mesmerized now by her thick nipples poking through that white dress as big as thumbs. More zippers get pulled down. As the aria is reaching its dramatic climax it drowns out the panting and rhythmical fapping noises coming from the audience. But then the aria is over and the girl on the stage falls silent. Usually, before an audience breaks into an enthusiastic applause, there is a dramatic pause after a singers performance, where the audience is still to awestruck and moved to do anything. This time however there are these unusual noises, an embarrassed coughing, someone sheepishly clearing his throat, rhythmic swooshing, suppressed breathing, exited panting, grunts of relieve popping up here and there. Then, after they are done with what they were doing, and have their hands free again, they start clapping. One after the other.

Slowly more and more hands are clapping. Still a rather pathetic applause the soprano thinks. Seems like they didn't like it much. A boy is rushed up to the stage with a big bouquet of flowers for the singer. She takes it from his hands with a rehearsed expression of surprise and happiness. The boys hands are wet and unpleasantly sticky and smell of... balls? She brushes these absurde thoughts away glad to be able to hide her sagging bust behind it. She needs to get of stage and get that bra out of her dress, she thinks. As she makes her first step her shoes become entangled in her bra and she stumbles. Thanks to the boy she doesn't fall flat on her nose. He holds her by the arm, while she presses the bouquet against her chest. As she realizes what caused her fall her face turns deep red. The boy helps her to step out of the bra, than he picks it up by one end and lifts it up, displaying those two enormous cups to everyone. "Whoa, that's quite the bear trap you had stepped in there." He blurts out. Laughter from the audience.