A Tragic End (End)

You are on top of the world when you feel the car behind you clip your back corner. At the speed you were going combined with the wet road your car soon careens out of control. Elsie screams "Jesse!" It is the last thing you hear before the car slams passenger side first into the concrete divider.

...

Your consciousness slowly comes to you. You hear the steady beep of a heart monitor and fuzzy voices. With an almighty effort you crack your eyes. The first thing you see is a doctor and a nurse leaning over you.

"He's awake. Can you hear us Mr. Bailey?"

Your throat is raspy and raw, your mouth was dry. You try to respond but nothing comes out. You just nod slightly. You were having trouble making sense of things. Everything was hazy and spinning.

"You've been in a car accident Mr. Bailey. You are in the hospital. You are okay now."

A car accident? The memories come flooding back.

"...elsie..." You croak in your dry voice.

The doctor and nurse look at each other with sorrowful faces. "I'm sorry. Your sister didn't survive."

"...nooooo..." You moan. "...noooo..." You begin to weep as the magnitude of it seeps into you.

You hear Fiona's voice. "Can you leave us for a bit?" The doctor and nurse nod and quietly leave the room.

Fiona, who was just behind the doctor the whole time, takes your hand and sits on the bedside chair. By the looks of it she had been camped out there for some time. She squeezes then kisses your hand.

"I'm so sorry Jesse." She says in a soft voice. "She...she passed away...ahem..." She clears her throat as she struggles not to crack under the swelling emotion. "...on impact. She didn't suffer at all."

You continue to openly weep as your world fell apart around you. Your heart had shattered into a million tiny fragments and nothing could mend it now.

Fiona continues, her voice soft and calming. "We buried her next to Dad." She is looking at you in sympathy. "She loved you Jesse. She loved you so much. You made her so happy."

You reach for Fiona. She stands and leans over you to embrace you. You sob into her chest, you weep like you never had. After a long long time you finally let go.

You are taking deep breaths as you try to regain control of yourself. Fiona gets you some much needed water and you drink it down.

"Where's Mom?" You manage to ask.

Fiona gets a grim look on her face. "She...um....she blames you...for what happened."

You sit there, turning the words over in your mind. Your mom was right. It was your fault. It was all your fault. God why take her!? It should have been you! It should have been you!

You begin to sob once more. Fiona is there for you.

It is a few weeks of hard physiotherapy before you could even think of getting out of the hospital. You older sister is there with you every painful step of the way. The physical pain and struggles absolutely pale to the emotional turmoil you suffer through. Life is pale, like a painting with the colors washed out. Food barely has flavor and despite the physical hardship of your recovery your dominant feeling isn't pain but a dull numbness.

As soon as you think you are ready you get Fiona to take you to see Elsie's grave.

It is a somber trip. Fiona helps you to the grave. You sit on the grass and stare. You touch the cold polished gravestone, you still had trouble believing it. You sit and talk with Elsie for a long time. You profess your love and beg forgiveness. You weep yet again. You don't want to but eventually you get Fiona to help you up. She holds you up as you say goodbye to the best person this world had ever known.

...

You live a long normal life. You eventually meet a nice normal wife and have nice normal kids and work a nice normal job. You live the life everyone told you was the perfect life. You live an easy life, doing all the right things. From the outside looking in you have it all.

Only you knew of the missing piece inside of you. A part of you that was gone forever. A wound to your soul that would never heal. When you close your eyes you would often see her sitting across from you at Sebastian's restaurant. In your dreams you would relive the moment of her coming down those stairs on prom night, you would feel her body against you as you shared that shower in the hotel, you would see her beautiful loving eyes as you made love. That too brief week with Elsie reverberates through all the rest of your years.

Eventually your mother began speaking with you, but it was never the same. You lived with the guilt of it everyday so you couldn't blame her for holding it against you.

Your sister Fiona becomes your best friend. She is the only one who truly understood what had really happened to you that fateful night. The pair of you would make regular visits to Elsie's grave. You would often wonder what life might have been like with her. Your mother was probably right, it wouldn't have worked out, it would have been tough...but you would have traded anything just to have that chance again.

Many years pass and you are lying on your **** bed. A thunderstorm rages outside. You are surrounded by your friends and family. The room begins to fade. The sights and sounds and smells pulling away from you. Darkness...

You are suddenly 19 years old again, standing alone on a dance floor in a circle of light surrounded by darkness. From the darkness you hear the soft sweet voice of your little sister. "May I have this dance?"

You reach into the darkness as your song starts up. A slender hand takes yours with a light touch. You take her in your arms and begin to dance, after so many years you are whole once more.