A Scientific Journey, by Warden-Yarn15

“A story about Bad Ends? You know of all the dumb shit on this site, this must be the dumbest.”

“Easy with the hyperbole, Gina.”

“I'm serious! Who the fuck wants to read a story when you already know the ending!”

“Apparently quite a lot of people. The story is fairly well liked.”

“Of course it is. And? Which path are we reading?”

“A Scientific Journey, by Warden-Yarn15”

“Oh yeah, that guy with the creepy avatar.”

“I think it looks rather fetching.”

“Yeah, because you have no taste. Mustaches belong in 80's porn movies, not in porn stories.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Hey Dick Doctor! Masturbate to this!”

“Hm yes, I'm quite confident I would win that bet.”

“This was the most unsexy shit ever. I mean there is less sex in this then in one of engins stories. And there is no sex in engins stories!”

“I don't think this was supposed to be a porn story Gina.”

“Then what the fuck is it doing on a porn site!”

“You know, there is technically a non erotica genre on here.”

“Oh yeah, I'm sure that one is very popular. That's like going to an amusement park to check out the parking lot.”

“Well, sex sells and all that.”

“Uhu, so let me get this straight. This guy, this fucking guy looked at a story called “bad ends” and thought to himself: You know what would be just the bee's knees? Writing a bad ending without any of that gosh darn diddily in it!”

“Uh, spoiler alert.”

“Nobody cares, Marcie, least of all I.”

“I think we should get to the actual plot now.”

“Sure, go for it. Not that there is much of that anyway.”

“This tall tale tells the tribulations of Elizabeth Wilcox, who is on an expedition to the North Pole.”

“She suffers from amnesia or something, but nobody really gives a shit about that.”

“Yes, Elizabeth has gaps in her memory, which gets handwaved away by pretty much anyone. Even Elizabeth's own reaction to it is more akin to “oh dear, this is a dilly of pickle.”

“After lots of useless filler, involving a detailed description of Elizabeth's meal(with pictures), they finally get on with the plot and start to investigate some mysterious ruins of some extinct mollusks or something.”

“At this point at the latest it should become obvious to even the most inattentive listener that this is a horror story. Lovecraft inspired as well.”

“Then some shit happens and the story is over.”

“Uh...”

“What? There was all this build up just for author to go, whelp I'm bored now, time to end it.”

“A harsh assessment, but I can't really disagree. A lot of the themes felt spooky for the sake of being spooky and the twist at the end...”

“I said it already, I really fucking hate it when they try to appease to us.”

“Well I don't think he...”

“He called us out by name, Marcie. Ugh. Now I imagine him winking. See what I did there? Hurl.”

“Aren't we doing the same thing by constantly referencing other authors?”

“Yeah, but when we are doing it its cute, so its ok.”

“Gina's no doubt unfounded misgivings aside, it does feel a bit as if the author didn't really know in which direction to take the story. Warden is pretty good at setting the proper atmosphere, but when it came to the payoff...”

“There was no sex!”

“...not what I was going for.”

“But seriously! This is one girl on a ship/airplane/isolated ruins with a truckload of sexually frustrated early 20th century guys. Don't tell me you can't write a sex scene with this setup. Hell, with that ending the narcissistic author could have done the himself!”

“Well, one could argue that Warden did Elizabeth. In a literary fashion. Huh, looking at it that way, this work might be more brilliant then I gave it credit for.”

“No Marcie, you are definitely reading too much into this pretentious dumpster fire.”

“Besides, its not that you would have enjoyed a straight sex scene anyways.”

“Obviously, but I am willing to put my own feelings aside when it comes to showcase how shit a story is.”

“...could it be that we are really struggling to find something to say on this one?”

“Well duh, this shit didn't even have 10 chapters, why the fuck are we even covering it?”

“hmm, so we have something spooky to put out for Halloween?”

“It will be way past October when we release this one!”

“To come back to the payoff, I do think Warden could have stretched the last third of the story out for a bit longer. It does feel like he was in a real rush to finish it.”

“I bet the author thinks he is really clever with this twist. I can already imagine him, giddily rubbing his hands together. Ohohoho! I'm such a clever and creative creator! Nobody has done fourth wall breaks before!”

“Gina please.”

“Fuck you. I wanted to read some sexy Halloween story from Sarckle, but instead you give me this trash. Don't expect me to not be pissed off.”

“Well, I think this is about all we get out of this one. I apologize for the shorter segment, please direct all your complaints towards the author for writing such a short story.”

“Fuck you, you creepy mustache guy!”