A Hairy Situation for David

(Originally posted by Catfish)

David answered, “Yeah, long blonde hair on women is my favorite.”

“I thought so,” Jen said. “Something like mid-back length, like hers?” She again waved toward the photo of the model.

“Well, maybe, uh, even longer,” suggested David. “Down to their waist, or butt, or beyond.”

“Yes, that can look good, but really long hair can definitely be a hassle,” Jen pointed out. “It’s heavy and hot, it can take forever to dry, or style -- having to brush it to avoid tangles...”

“But can’t all that be magically taken care of?”

“I guess it could,” Jen said with a smile in Amanda’s direction. The hair on David’s head lightened, becoming a nearly white platinum blonde as it kept lengthening and thickening and lengthening again. By the time it seemed to stop, it fell almost to the floor as David sat on the bench.

Amanda chortled in spite of herself. She leaned toward Jen and quietly said into the goddess’s ear, “You’ve seen my dad’s record collection. Edgar Winter?”

“Ha!” said Jen. “Unintentional.”

“What was that?” David asked as he flipped a few strands of hair out of his face.

“Nothing,” Jen replied. “Now, do I need to ask how you feel about other hair on women?”

“You mean like” -- David lowered his voice a few decibels -- “stuff they shave?”

“You don’t have to be quiet about it,” said Jen. “Actually, while I’m thinking about it, what would be a nice pleasing voice for a woman?”

“Uh, English accents are kinda sexy, I guess,” David answered.

“Sounds good -- literally,” Jen said with a grin. “Okay, so how about the other hair?”

“Well, I guess I don’t like body hair on women,” David said, but now he spoke with a decidedly female voice and somewhat of an upper-class British accent, which seemed about as incongruous as everything else about him.

“Okay. Even the pubic hair?” Jen asked.

David reddened slightly. “Uh, yeah. I mean, I’ve seen pictures, and, uh...”

“No need to be embarrassed!” Jen exclaimed. “I can’t make your perfect woman for you if you’re embarrassed. Okay, no body hair whatsoever, so she won’t need to shave."

Amanda noticed that David's barely visible five-o'clock shadow disappeared completely.

Jen continued, "Now, what about makeup?”

“Makeup?” David asked, still sounding like a female resident of a Thames-side prep school.

“Sure, I assume you want women to wear makeup, right? Now, Amanda and I aren’t wearing much -- call it a natural look -- but that model you were looking at is wearing a lot. Which do you like better?”